Update...

Hi Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? I guess everyone is having a pretty banging summer 'cos no-one is blogging as often as they usually do...lol.

So I had a fun-filled weekend, nothing outrageously crazy or over the top. Just chilled and nice. My very, good friend B came over on Friday and left Monday. Wat did we do for the weekend? Well, let's see we went on a free tour of Central Park, where they give u historical info, and facts about the park (thot it was gonna be a bore, but it was fun!), strolled thru the park just observing, laughing, taking pictures and enjoying the moment. Then we went on the Ferry to Staten Island and it took us right by the Statue of Liberty, and when we went past it everyone was cheering and clapping! It's funny how when you live in a particular place, you take for granted the tourist attractions or just generally forget that they are there. Four years in NY and I've never been to the Statue of Liberty and a long list of other tourist attractions and famous sites. My list of things to do is getting long.

We also spent the weekend watching African movies. You'll never catch me watching an African movie by myself, I jst can't. But if there's someone else around, then I will. So the movies we watched were;
Love Games- a story about a guy who was in the process of marrying a chic, but had slept with all four of her sisters, and she didn't know it.

Sin of the Soul: A wealthy and influential man's son is trying to get with a girl who turns to prostitution to help save her dying mother; in the process he kills her. Her older sister who happens to be a maid to his father is also his victim because in exchange for financial support he also had his way with her.

The Perfect Picture: this was the best movie out of all three!!! A newly married couple are having problems in the bedroom. After holding off sex for one year in order to make the wedding night special, "junior" refuses to rise to the occassion and as a result there is wahala in paradise...lol

Lemme just say the picture quality, the actors, and general production of this movie was good! As in, they really tried abeg. And its a Ghanian movie but there were no overly heavy accents that could sometimes distract from the actual performance. Pls go and watch this movie. And if u've watched it, wat did u think about the new-bride's way of finding out what was wrong with her hubby? Would you have done same? (i'm trying not to give away the story-line...lol)

Anyways, that's my quick update. Hope everyone is having a great week!

PS: Saw Ice-Age 3 too, it was ok.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Night Crawler

...Hello Blogsville
How's everybody doing? Hpe great!
Lately, my sleeping patterns have been off. I go to bed at 3am, to wake-up 8.30- 9am to be @ work by 11am. Normally, I go to bed at 1am. Wat are u doing up @ such late hour, u ask? Well I parole the streets of blogsville visiting blogs, sometimes I'm chatting with ML, watching tv, oiling my hair, tidying stuff and so on.

Today, I promised myself that I'd be in bed by 1am. Latest 1.30am. 1am comes and guess what am doing? Frying plantain to eat with fried eggs. I know they say you shouldn't eat past 7pm, but no be my fault na.

Aight people, am done eating. Let me go and look for sleep cos it seems to be running/hiding from me.

PS: My very good friend B, is coming over for the weekend on friday and I'm freaking excited! Don't know what we're gonna do with ourselves yet, but we'll figure something out. If anything super crazy or fun happens, I'll be sure to bring u guys the unadulterated gist.

Have a great weekend ahead guys; stay outta trouble...pls dnt get stopped and searched lyk Scribbles...lol...better yet dnt get arrested oo, I no get money to tke bail anybody.

Take care guys,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Random Post

Hello Blogsville,

Hows everybody doing? Is it just me, it seems like everybody is away either on vacation, busy weeks/weekends, summer school, chillathons, and general MIA-ness or AWOL? Anyways, I'm glad for those still around, and looking forward to the return of the others. My point is that I miss u guys!!!

Thanks to everyone for the b'day wishes/greetings. Really, really do appreciate it. Felt very loved :)!!!

So it's supposed to be summer abi? But the weather in this NY e get as e be. The other day we had a storm and there was hail!!! Hail o my people, in July! And then when the sun decides to come out, its still not as warm as I'd like it to be. Pls Lord, I hope the winter this year isn't so bad, I hate the winter; if I had my way I'd stay indoors all thru.

I really, really wanna go to the beach next weekend cos I have saturday and sunday off, but :( nobody wants to go with me!!! *sigh* not fair o. My friends from out of state cldnt get time off work... I do not wanna have sucky a weekend o! I guess I'm gonna have to find something else to do; it's just hard becos I've done all the do-ables in the city. Anybody with any fun ideas, free/cheap concerts or shows in the NY should let me know biko, this summer cannot be a waste.

My driving test is in about 2weeks, and I've been dreading having to schedule anymore classes with my instructor b4 then, but I've paid for the damn classes...lol. Oh well, I gotta do what I gotta do abi? If the man talk pass him mouth me I would jst jeje-ly and quietly request for another instructor. Will bring u guys the gist.

Aiight people, enjoy the rest of your weekend and have a great week ahead!!!
Muahz!

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!!!

Another Year

Thank you Lord for another year.
Thank you for how far I've come
Thank you for where I am now
Thank you for where I'm headed
Thank you for the gift of life
Thank you for my family
Thank you for ML
Thank you for my friends
Thank you for my job
Thank you for school
Thank you for Blogsville

For all that I am, and all that I hope to become; I say thank you Lord.
I'm one year older...and am so thankful.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MOI!!!


*ML- My Luv

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

MJ's contribution to Commercial Sex Workers

Hi Blogsville Residents...

Ke kwanu?(I'm not Ibo...lol, my closest friends are). The weekend is here once again, and for my fellow Yankee people, this is a big holiday weekend for us. It's July 4th...Independence Day; BBQ's, get togethers, family re-unions, loads of food, music, laughter and fun! As for me, I'm probably gonna go see the movie Hangover and just chill as usual.

Four more days to my b'day, and I've decided not to do anything; I'm actually going to be at work so that'll keep me busy. Last year being the big 21, I went all out with a SATC kinda theme. Weekend at a four star hotel downtown, shopping, clubbing, Limo ride to dinner by the Pier, with a view of the Brooklyn bridge...yup yup it was the perfect New-York experience. Alot has happened between then and now, and am so grateful for the journey. So, this year will just be a day of thanksgiving because that's the mood I'm in at present.

ML and I have been discussing the death of MJ, and we both have different opinions on the dude. He's of the opinion that MJ had his priorities screwed, and cannot understand my feelings of empathy towards him (MJ). In the course of our discussion, ML sent me this link from Vanguard Newspaper; my people of blogsville, when I read it LWKMD!!!! Please read this:
Commercial sex workers in Nigeria hold service of songs for Michael Jackson

Commercial sex workers in PH hold service of songs for Micheal Jackson

Jul 1, 2009

By George Onah
Some commercial sex workers in Port Harcourt, NIgeria have planned “a service of songs” for pop idol Michael Jackson, to display their heartfelt grief “for a musician whose music always attracts customers to us when we dance”.

In a statement, with a letterhead of “Employers and commercial sex workers association of Nigeria”, made available to Vanguard in Port Harcourt, Wednesday, the group said the association had been “short-changed by death for taking away a great contributor to the industry”.

Written in very poor English with occasional flashes of vernacular, the statement jointly signed by Sarafina Johnson and Lovina George, president and secretary respectively, said “death has thief (sic) our great singer, dancer and oga of costume (sic)”.

The association which has its headquarters in a three-star hotel (names withheld), GRA Phase 2 Port Harcourt, disclosed that “a service of songs would be held on Saturday July 4th 2009 at 9 p.m. prompt”, at the hotel and all their branches in Port Harcourt, Calabar, Uyo and Owerri”.

Accordingly, the commercial sex workers want “all our customers and lovers of Michael Jackson to light a candle and be dressed in black dress (sic) (for ladies) and black suit or native wears (for men) and assemble at the various locations as directed by their zonal leaders”.

Further to this, the association appealed to members to “make sure black coloured clothes, head tie, cap, shoes or black bag form part of your dressing every day until our loving man is buried in the place of his choice”.

In what appeared like a dirge for the pop icon, the group said “Oh Michael why have you left so soon when we have just started liking you (sic); Oh Michael you have disappointed death and death has disappointed us all because you are not dead because you will sing forever”.

I just wonder where they come up with such names as Sarafina Johnson and Lovina George; then they actually have zonal leaders??? Wonders will never end oo...lol.

Have a great weekend guys!!!

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Symptoms of Old-age???

Hello Blogsville...
How's everybody doing? The week is slowly rounding up; and it seems like its been a very long week with the events that unfolded from the week before and so on. I've been wanting to blog but jst lacked the drive, and also couldn't decide on what to blog about. But all through, one thing has been on my mind. I know a lot of people have blogged 'bout MJ's death and the media is still squeezing out every possible juice from the story so I really dnt wanna bore u, but I jst wnt to share why my heart goes out to him (MJ), and his family.

MJ was a great performer, artiste and entertainer no doubt about that. But it is the lonely and lost boy within the body of a man that I feel sad for. To me he always looked lonely, and sort of misunderstood; and also, like he never fitted in, just in a class of his own. IMO, the one place where he looked most comfortable and sure of himself, was on stage. Other than that, at interviews he looked so vulnerable, soft spoken, and shy.

I dnt wanna ramble any further, but for the boy who never grew up, who never really had a normal childhood, who didn't like being called names, whose source of comfort were his work and his children; that's the MJ whom I cried for. Lol...yes I cried and am not ashamed to say it. I know the guy wasn't perfect and all, but... oh well may his gentle soul and the souls of all the departed RIP.

...It's the month of July, and normally this is like my fav. month bcos its my b'day month. And normally whether am doing anything or not am usually hyper; but this time around I've been feeling quite mellow. Is this a sign of old-age? When b'days become just another day in the year, and I start feeling like the clock is ticking? My girls been asking if I have anything planned but my brain is just blank. I dnt know o jare...make we dey look sha. Am just grateful for the past year and looking forward to Him unveiling his plan for my future one day at a time.

PS: My Mom's back, and am glad she is. Thanx for the support blogsville.

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

...Gbo Gbo Bigz Girlz Syndrome

Hey Blogsville Residents...

How y'all doing? Hope great!The weekend's around the corner so hang in there guys.
So let me update you guys on my last post. ML and I are doing great. We sorted things out Sunday evening. It's funny how lil' things can snow-ball into bigger issues all because of a lack of communication, and because we dnt want snow-balls, we are both working on my communicating skills...lol. From my early teen years, I started keeping journals...and wld write in them like I was having a conversation with my journal (call me weird...lol). It was just so much easier becos journals dnt judge ur emotions or thoughts, you dnt have to worry bout sounding like a nag, with my journals I could just be...be me. I guess that's where I developed my interest in writing.

So like I said, I'm a work in progress and am working on saying what's on my mind rather than bottling it up. My new slogan will be "Just say it!" . Am just glad to have someone who cares enough to wanna know what's going on with me, and I appreciate that.

On a lighter note, I had a great day chilling with my friends from high-school. It's always a blast with 'em, just reminiscing 'bout our boarding house experiences...lol. In the course of our conversation, the topic of 9ja babes and their accents came up. I dnt knw if anyone else has experienced this, but I have; Babes in 9ja who I've known from back in the day with regular accents now all of a sudden are speaking spro spro, form...and when u reply with pidgin english they look at you like you fell from the moon. I find it quite interesting, becos me when dey yankee I still dey speak pidgin english, so I really dnt understand why some of my 9ja chicas dey form. Pls is it part of the gbo gbo bigz girlz syndrome?...lol.


I went to see Transformers 2, and it was good!!! Luv'd it! I can't count how many times people in the theatre applauded for different scenes...lol. Oh and lest I forget, Josh Duhamel (Fergie's hubby) and Tyrese Gibson....nuff said ladies. Shia LaBeouf was good too...and the guys will definitely luv Megan Fox. It's a must see guys!!!! Dnt wanna give anything away...


*ML- My Luv
*Spro Spro- speaking with a foreign accent, either American or British


Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Imperfect Me

...She lay in bed, with her head at the foot of the bed
And her feet resting on the pillows at the head of bed.
She lay upside down.
Just like the thoughts in her head.
Laptop lay open on the bed,
Playing a mixture of soft tunes from Yahoo's Quiet Storm station.
Her thoughts? Restless. Unsettled. Questioning.
Not even the erotic description of the three-way escapade between Lola, Mrs. Jones and Gideon in E.J.D's Walking with Enemies could bring her to the present.

"...am getting sick and tired of all this." Those were his words
And she had them on repeat in her thoughts.
Patient and understanding- that's him.
Sick and tired- hardly ever.
So how did he get to this point?
She had done it again.
She had shutdown.
In his own words, "gone cold" when he needed answers.

She never wants to sound like a nag
So instead of communicating and saying what's on her mind
She plays the nothing is wrong card
But has a bad poker face/attitude
Bcos he knows something's not right
But he's not getting answers; Instead,
Mono-syllabic replies. Avoidance. Emotional disconnect.
A 180 change in personality from his Babie.

"...you can pour out ur heart on ur blog,
but not to the one you love." So he said.
I am she.
I am imperfect. I have flaws. Said it from the get go.
And me saying nothing when its something is one of them
I know it's frustrating to deal with
But am working on it, really I am!

I can't achieve perfection...I don't even want to
But...I'm a work in progress.
Everyday, I work on being a better me
How long it'll take? I know not.
How often I'll slip? One...two...and counting
When I'll give up? Never.
So the question is do you have enough patience
Or did that well run dry already?
I hope not.


Talk to you guys soon
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Naughty Thoughts!!!

Hey Blogsville...

How's it going? I trust y'all are having a splendid week! I'm doing aight...getting used tothe silence of the apartment, and generally being alone. How I go do na?lol

I want to give a quick shout-out to two bloggers: To Adaeze for the courage to tell her story and a blogsville welcome to Naija Bad Boi, welcome to the family dude!

So my people of Blogsville, I had driving lessons this morning. My instructor is a Wole Soyinka look alike,white hair, glasses and all; but not as tall, 'bout 5'6 or 5'7, late fifties to early sixties. So we get to this intersection and the road is a dead end with enough room for a 3point turn or K- turn....sensing that he wld want me to practice the turn at the dead end, the following conversation takes place: (We'll call him JR)

Me: You want me to drive across and do a 3 point turn at the dead-end?

JR: Wow...I see you're reading mind. Hmmm I have to be careful 'bout my thoughts now.

Me: (Smiling) Naah, I jst assumed. Besides why would u have to be careful wiv ur thots.

JR: I can't be thinking naughty thoughts anymore.

Me: (With a 'yeah...right' look on my face) You don't think naughty thoughts.

JR: You think I dnt think naughty thoughts; it's hard not to with you looking all cute and stuff.

Me: (Screeeeeecccchhh!!! My brain comes to complete halt for a sec.) Umm...left turn or right?

Wat!!! This dude is old enough to be my Dad, here he is telling me 'bout him thinking naughty thots! I ddn't know whether to laugh abi to feel umcomfortable. I just kept the conversation neutral after that, I no fit start wetin I no get power finish. Make I do get my license next month and tell the dude Au revoir Monsieur!

To keep busy I've been catching up on movies I ddn't watch when the whole world was watching:
Charlie Wilson's War (Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts)- Good movie, informative without being boring.

Taxi (Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon)- Yeah yeah I knw u've seen it n' u're wondering where d hell I've been. Very funny movie, laughed all thru. I thot Giselle Bundchen did a good job; the scene where she was frisking the cop was hilaxx!

Aight people...Enjoy ur week!

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

... Gracias

...Let me start off by saying a big Thank you to each and everyone of you for support. With every post, I realize how much of a family Blogsville is; and how I love being part of it. I appreciate you guys, and am thankful.

*************************************************************************************
Whenever I walk into a HomeGoods store, Bed Bath & Beyond or any store that deals with interior decor, furnishings and all that, I always dream of the day I'll have my very own apartment. My space, my concept, my territory...(u get the gist). My Mom has been out of town for a week now, and will be for the next 2wks...meaning I have the apt. to myself, therefore am having a great time living out my dream and enjoying "my space". Right? Wrong!

Sometimes it's nice, I like the peace and quiet. Doing things at my pace (not like I normally do otherwise) and taking responsibility for things and just being. But coming home to an empty apt., surrounded by silence except for the sound of my fingers tapping away on my laptop, the sound of the tv, cars going by; cooking and eating by myself, and then not having anyone to say good-night to...*sighs* am not liking at all. Being able to come home to My Luv wld be nice, and not having to go to bed alone.

In as much as living with someone could be a pain in the behind sometimes, am grateful that I have my Mom. We have our tiffs...lol...who doesn't? But then the great times out weigh the tiffs, and priceless memories are made. Not to forget her yummy cooking...lol.

So the other day I was walking into my office building, and some teenage boys walking past started to holla! I ddn't pay them any mind just dey waka my own dey go; until they started to shout "cutie with the booty..." Shoooo...really? I ddn't turn back o, I jst shook my head and walked in...children of nowadays na wa o!...lol

Aiight people it's 1am and am off to bed!
Thanks again guys!!!

Talk to you guys soon
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Curtain Call

Hey Blogsville...

How y'all doing? Hope everyone is doing good.

It's been quite a cloudy week. Cloudy in the sense that I lost my Uncle on Wednesday.
We knew he was ill, but I guess we just weren't prepared...but then are we ever fully
prepared to accept death and deal with the reality that it brings?

To think that we'll never see them again
Never hear them speak
Just thinking of their bodies,
Lying life-less. Still.
A costume that once brought a character to life
A character that is their soul.

The costume/their bodies left behind after the curtain falls
Their characters forever remembered by us the audience
Their souls ascend; to be nominated into the hall of fame
By Him who sees all, hears all, and knows all.

May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace...Amen.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Precious Moments...

Hang in there...
It'll be alright...
In due time...
One day at a time...
Look at the big picture...

These are words of consolation that I've heard numerous times
I play them in my head
And he does same too

*sighs*
I don't want fancy dinners
I don't want expensive gifts
They are nice, but
Precious moments, I'd treasure more

Morning calls to start the day
Facial expressions u make when u're on the phone
U walking on tip-toes when ur pants sweep the floor
Ur calm approach to situations
The way you laugh at my jokes

Quick kisses we steal when driving
Kissin' my fore-head infront of my family
Listening to ur heart beat as we cuddle
And my tiny frame fits perfectly into urs
Like my very own body case

These are precious moments
Moments with/of you that I miss
Moments that I keep close to my heart
Moments that make up the big picture
Moments of u and of us that I treasure

Today is one of those days
Days when missing you brings tears
Days when hang in there just won't do
Days when precious moments are all I have
Days when your love triumphs.

I miss you babie...

Love,
Miss Enigma!

Weekend Update

Hello Blogsville,

How y'all doing? Trust everybody is doing great! And your weekend has been fun-filled and drama free.

Thanks y'all for complimenting my TILA! I was kinda nervous to wear it the 1st day, especially since I'd never worn one b4; and normally dissect people who wear wigs that look like "costume" hair, according to my manager...lol. But, when I got to work, your girl was getting compliments left, right and center! My oyinbo customers kept sayn, oh I love ur new hair- cut! You look fab!. So now am rocking my TILA like there's no tomorrow. My boyfriend saw pics and lyks it, he thinks its a weave...lol...can't wait to crack him up when I reveal the truth on webcam. Lol...he's not gonna let me live this one down for a long time!

So after work on Sat., I decided to dash to the library to borrow some movies for the weekend. Never done this before, but staying home and being bored all weekend, was not an option. Got there 'bout 5mins to close and grabbed:
- Marie Antoniette
- A Mighty Heart
- Music and Lyrics
- Wimbeldon
- Sex and the City (saw this b4 tho')

The French Open is going on now... I remember those days in 9ja when my Dad and I would stay up to watch the matches...or skip morning mass and go for evening mass just to catch the Men's Final. If there's one thing that my Dad and I can agree on, bond on and have good times doing it's watching Tennis. But unfortunately, I can't play...hope to learn someday. Its just an interesting sport, blood pumping, adrenaline rush, powerful serves, great players with unique personalities...and good looking men!!! dayum!!!

Anyways, that's it for now guys. Enjoy whatever is left of the weekend, and have a great week ahead, and as always... be the best you that you can be in all you do!

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Wig Virgin!!!

Hey Blogsville...

How y'all doing? I've been so mushy, down and not my hyper self my last two posts, but am baaaackk! Thanks for ur comments guys (including the silent readers), dat ex of mine can just like to dey vex person. Anyways, I've freed the dude o, he replied to the letter and believe you me, the dude still doesn't get it, but as for me...I don try. You can take a horse to the river, but you can't force it to drink...when he's ready he'll understand but this chic is done!

As am typing this post, the super (supervisor) of my building is polishing the floor boards above me, and the person below me is blasting music that is making the walls vibrate...picture that!

So couple of weeks ago, I had this chest pain that felt like I had swallowed something that was stuck in my chest and putting pressure on my left side...and this wasn't the first time. Mom said go to ER, but I had a research paper that was due so I skipped. Finally went to see d Doc today...after doing an EKG, and checking other vitals, Doc (female) asks if there's any family history of diabetes and high cholestrol in the fam. Diabetes in my extended fam, but not immediate. She analyzes the EKG readings, and then orders more tests (2D Echo. which is like an x-ray of my heart, stress tests) and blood work to be done before she sees me again in two weeks. Abeg make una pray for me o, I was taking it lightly b4 but am a tad-bit concerned now (but am not losing sleep), God dey.

On a lighter note, I was supposed to get my weave done today only to get to the salon and the yeye woman no come work! Meanwhile, when I was scheduling for today she no talk say she no go dey work, her mouth sharp pass anything. Walked out of the salon pissed and tryna decide what da hell I was gonna do with my hair. Tired of blow drying and flat-ironing, wanted to do one of Rihanna's numerous looks even though the lady said she cldn't cos the tracks were gonna show. So since hair-day was cancelled, I decided to galivant...and next thing I knew I was looking at wigs!!! Yes o my people...wigs!!! Never tried one on b4. As I was scouting for one to try, one spanish dude who works in the store began to interrogate me o!

Dude: Have u ever tried one b4?

Me: Nope.

Dude: How old are you?

Me: (Pls go away, I wnt to try one on!) Umm...how old do u think?

Dude: 24

Me: How old are you?

Dude: 23

Me: 22 (almost...lol)

After the convo, I was too shy to try any wig, so I left and went to the next hair store. After buying the wig-cap, your girl was on a roll! I tried like 5 0r 6 different ones. I was like a kid in a candy store :-) Making faces in the mirror, and imagininghow handy the wigs cld be when role-playing (wink wink)...dnt blame me, blame the names the maufacturers give to the damn wigs...lol. I finally decided to get TILA...yes u heard ryt, the name of my wig is TILA (maybe it was named after Tila Tequila the reality show chic from Mtv). My Tila is a short bob wiv an edge and banging bangs. She can transform from official girl to sexy mouth watering appetizer behind closed doors...lol. (pun intended).

Please excuse my naughty thots...haven't had me some in a while...and I won't be getting any anytime soon, once again LDRs a b****! Luv u babie...lol.

After picking up Tila, I came home and settled down to my boiled yam with vegetable and palm-oil for some correct 9ja flava, and washed it down with Goya malt...yum yum!

Been familiarizing myself with Scribbles blog...and my sides hurt from laughing so hard, the guy is funny and his mom is a character all by herself...lol...nice blog dude!

Aiight that's enuff gist for one post! Below is a pic of my TILA!


Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo
Miss Enigma!

A Letter to the Ex...(Last Scene)

Dear Ex,

It's unfortunate that it had to come to this. I wish there was an easier way to put an end to what we had, but there wasn't and so things happened the way they did. Regardless, I don't think there really is an easy way of breaking up with someone...especially when the other person doesn't see it coming; but I had to do what I had to do. All through the period we were together, we were like best friends, but breaking up changes that too. It's impossible (in my opinion) to maintain such a tight friendship after that, but I guess you thought differently. You still wanted your best-friend to be there to help you understand the hows and whys, and hold your hand through the healing process...but I needed to heal too. And true healing would not be achieved by both of us still meddling in each others emotions; we had to let go.

From our recent conversations, its clear you didn't, you haven't, and because I did, you hold some amount of resentment towards me. I totally understand, and it's ok for you to feel this way. I had hoped that by now you would have gotten over everything and that maybe, just maybe for history sake we could be cordial...simple hellos, his, and all, because I hate to erase people from my life like they were never there, (I'm still able to have conversations with my first ex, and just see how we both are doing, no strings attached) but like I said, it's clear that we can't have that. I'm not a bad person or a selfish person as you insinuated in our discussion, and because I'm not, I'm letting you go, setting you free. In the words of Leona Lewis reworded

Since there's no more you and me, It's time I let you go so you can be free, and live your
life how it should be... It will all get better in time.

Trust me it will.

I'm doing this not because I have moved on and am in a better place, but because I want you to move on and be in a better place too. Why? Because you deserve it, we both do. And when you get there you'll understand... it's a place where words cannot describe...it is a feeling like no other...you wake up every morning with the same excitement as the first time...subtle acts and kind words leave you with a constant smile...a place where misunderstandings are fine-tuned to better understand the other...and your heart, eyes and actions say much more than your lips ever could...Its a place where no painter can paint, no photographer can capture in film because this place comes from the joy and inner peace of being able to love yourself for who you are, and have someone else love you same, and you wanting to share that feeling with that someone.

The last time we spoke, you asked me what I wanted from you, and I didn't reply then. I want nothing...you gave me three years, and am grateful for them and for lessons learnt. I wish you well and all that you wish yourself...Goodluck in life and all your future endeavors...may the good Lord continue to be with you.

Bye,
Your Ex.

PS: Seeing as this post is already long, and I dnt wanna bore u guys, I'll save my comment on the whole drama till my next post. Thanks guys for being there!!!


Talk to you soon,
xoxo
Miss Enigma!

Case of the Ex

PS: This post is a random rant, and to better understand it you might need back-ground information. If you do let me know if not, all well and good.

PPS: Please excuse any grammatical or typo errors, and any uncensored profanities.

It's been about six months since we called it quits...since I ended it and we went our separate ways. The first couple of weeks were rough; I kept wondering if I had made the right decision, and when I was gonna realize I made a mistake. But after today's conversation with him and the constant back n' forth... I have no doubt that I made the right decision, and I'm so happy I did. I'm calm now, but about hour ago...all I wanted to do was scream profane words at him; why da hell are u bringing unnecessary issues? are you out of your f***ing mind? how dare you say such to me? R u f***ing kidding me?...u get the picture!


We had been together for three years,and two out of those three years had been long-distance. Met him my first year in Uni in Naij, we were in the same department (major). For some reason I was attracted to him, he was a nice guy (still is), but communicating was a problem for us. He never understood what I said and I guess I never understood him either, and so we had regular arguments/ misunderstandings, but I stuck it out and stayed. When I finally moved to yankee, the arguments got worse.
If I ddn't pick the phone when he called, we argued or he wld ask 'so is there someone else that has ur attention.'
He would make statements that sounded hurtful or derogatory and then say he was joking.
He ddn't get my jokes I cldn't stand his.
During his last semester in school, whenever I asked wat his plans were, he said I made him feel insecure...and felt like I was asking him if he cld tke care of me financially.... the list goes on, and I stayed on.


You ask why I stayed? I wish I have sensible answer but I don't. I knew he was insecure but I felt as he grew older maybe he'll out grow that and be more confident in himself and his abilities. I guess am just an optimistic person, I see the glass half full. But sometime last year I got a reason to leave, and although it didn't seem right then am happy I did...(story for another day) :). Initially after the break-up, we ddn't communicate but when I was going to 9ja in Jan. I told him I was coming, when I got there he went MIA. I honestly wasn't bothered bcos I was there for other reasons.


Out of the blue last month, he sends me a message on FB, basically sayin' hi and checking up on me. I've moved on and I thot he had bcos he told me he was seeing someone; so once in awhile we'd chat online, exchange pleasantries and all that. Only for today he started speaking a language that I honestly could not understand; talking about how he doesn't think we can be friends, becos when I broke up with him and he asked if it was ok for us to be friends I said I didn't know. Anyways, we go back n' forth for a couple of mins and tell him that I get it if he's still hurt, vexed or watever but that if he dsn't want to have a cordial relationship then no wahala, that's totally fine by me but that I just assumed that becos of history sake, we could at least be cordial.


At this point I'm irritated and just really pissed and about to sign off when he tells me oh I was only joking, and that they are just words. Starts to apologize, but I dnt respond. Then he asks, "what do you want from me?" I stare at the screen, smile and say to myself "Nothing" and sign off. I am so glad I let him go, let it all go. I'm grateful for those three years, but I miss them not!


Talk to you soon!
xoxo
Miss Enigma!

...The Finale: Not Over till It's Over...

...I can't believe it! I so can't believe it! I knew he was good, personally out of both of them I preferred him. I'm not one to actually buy CDs, but I had vowed that whenever he released one, I would get it. Few weeks ago, nobody really paid attention to him, the main focus was on Allison, Danny and Adam. Simon had spoken that the title was Adam's, the polls had Adam sealed in...and slowly I too had given up and resigned the whole thing to the fact that na Adam go win am. But just about 6mins ago KRIS ALLEN was named the American Idol of '09!!!! I can't believe it!

Talk about being the 'Underdog', 'The Dark Horse' talk about '...faith like a mustard seed', talk about it people. From day one the guy had been so humble and composed, in a world of his own. Even Simon Cowell kept saying he was too much of a nice guy, and that it wouldn't get him anywhere...but look where it got him.

I don't know 'bout y'all, but I think we've all been 'Kris A.' at some point in our lives (I know I have). You know you've prepared for that interview and have everything on point from ur appearance to your mental content, but then lurking at the back of your mind somewhere is Mr. Doubt. Or when you have a dream/goal/vision and people around you, especially the ones whose opinions mean the world to you, don't believe in you. Or when even after giving it ur best shot, it seems like your best just ain't good enuff.

They say man proposes and God disposes! His ways are not our ways.
Adam Lambert is a good artist, a great performer, a crowd pleaser, and to many he had what the competition was looking for. But, I guess the title wasn't his; we're definitely gonna be seeing alot of him, no doubt. As for Kris, I'm looking forward to his album already! His duet with Keith Urban was nice, I think him and Jamie Foxx (luv him!!!) will make a good collabo single...and his rendition of Kanye West's 'Heartless' was off tha' chains...I preferred it to the original.

Honestly guys, I can't tell you how happy I am that Kris won. My take-away lesson from this is that 'it's not over until it's over'; and regardless of the situation not to write myself off even if others have. They say nice guys finish last...but tonite am glad the nice guy finished FIRST!!!



P.S: Sorry this post is disjointed, disoriented, disorganized...am just excited and hungry...lol.

Talk to you guys soon!
xoxo
Miss Enigma!

I'm Back... (8 Things Meme)

Hey Blogsville...

How r u guys doing?! Missed y'all alot. I'm officially done for the semester, and am so grateful to God for the way things went...now na to wait for result, but am feelin' gud 'bout it.

So from now till August no school for me...just work, so una go see me well well for here. Guess wat guys, I met a blogger today @ school, we actually had a class together this semester and only jst found out today that we both blog!!! But out of respect for her, I won't say her name but y'all know her...and I luv her blog. I promised Jhazmyn that I'd do the 8 meme thing last week but thanks to finals I cldn't...but am keeping word now, so here it goes...

8 Things I look forward to
- The day I'll graduate (a year from now)
- Having a solid n' well grounded relationship with my God.
- Seeing 'My Luv...' again, I miss him everyday (LDRs r tuff!)
- Getting my License this summer
- Buying my 1st car all on my own
- Getting my own apartment (not anytime soon tho'...lol, still enjoyin momsies' cookin')
- My Life
- To the day when instead of communicating via webcams, phones n' ymessenger, I'll be waking
up next to My Luv...

8 Things I Did Yesterday
- I wrote my media relations research paper
- I spoke to My Luv...
- I studied for my Intro to Advertising final
- Spent time gisting with my Mom
- I ate rice n' stew wiv dodo...lol (running out of things to say o)
- Listened to Gospel Jamz on 102FM
- Watched Desperate Housewives small sha...
- I think I commented on some blogs.

8 Things I wish to do
- Learn to swim
- Go on a vacation with...u know who...lol, to one of the islands (Hawaii, Fiji, Panama etc)
- Own my own business/company (dnt knw wat yet)
- Learn to play tennis...(my Dad n' Sis play)
- Learn to cook dishes other than 9ja basics
- Stop procrastinating
-
-

8 Shows I watch
- Brothers n' Sisters (U gotta luv The Walkers)
- Grey's Anatomy
- Dancing with the Stars
- Castle
- Cupid
- One Tree Hill
- The Game
- Oprah

So there u have it...this meme thing is hard to do sha o, ahn ahn. Enjoy guys!

PS: Am not taggin' anyone bcos I think everyone has done theirs already...but if u haven't, feel free to.

xoxo
Miss Enigma

My Rock

Hey Blogsville...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the mothers out there! Being a mother is a full-time job that you do not go to school for, do not get a degree for; and no amount of practice, baby-sitting or even words of knowledge from experienced mothers can prepare you for. My Mom and I have our off days like every other mother n' daughter but I know for sure that I won't be where I am today if not for her, and the sacrifices she made. I won't elaborate.


But for all you endured during the ten year wait before u bore me...I say thank you.
For the smiles you wore so that I didn't see the pain...I say thank you.
For depriving yourself so that I had the very best...I say thank you.
For always having ur arms and heart waiting to receive me when the world shut me out...I say thank you.
For always having positive words when the situation was as negative as can be...I say thank you.
For teaching me the importance of family...I say thank you.
For helping me believe in myself...I say thank you.
For not faltering in ur love for me when I said u weren't my mom...I say thank you.
For spanking me and knocking sense into my head when I got rude...I say thank you.
For taking my crap when I have mood-swings...I say thank you.
...I could go on and I would, because am going to be eternally grateful to you; for being you. Strong but soft at heart, humble beyond words...always putting everyone's needs ahead of yours...and above all a woman after God's heart.

Love you Mom,
Mama.


PS: Guys, I have two finals this week, and a research paper due by weekend so I might not be able to update for a while...but with my addiction to B'ville dnt be surprised if u see an update or a comment here n' there...lol. Goodluck to everyone with finals...and y'all have a spectular week. Stay positive and kick-a** in whatever you do; school, job, business...watever. And put God first and every other thing will fall into place.

xoxo
Miss Enigma!

Naija Men

People of Blogsville...how you all doing? Hope everybody is doing fine and those who had low moments and bad days especially CLG and Buttercup are feeling much berra. We luff u!
Okay, so my very good friend sent me this list on FB, and I decided to share wiv my blog famille. So make una come talk if the list talk true, abi e nor talk true and if una get any jara* make una add am o.

Have a blessed week guys!

41 REASONS WHY NAIJA MEN ARE THE BEST...

1. He understands your accent.
2. He knows that when you suffix every sentence with 'now', its not a command, e.g. "Come let's go now..."
3. When you guys go out, he pays and doesn't expect a refund of exactly half!
4. He understands why you have to send money home - probably doing the same himself!
5. He doesn't see your kid sister staying in your house as an inconvenience/ cramping his style.

6. He doesn't think you should put your parents in a Nursing/ Retirement home.
7. He eats 'Gbegiri and Amala' and doesn't think it's 'yucky' or 'spicy'. In a nutshell, loves your cooking
8. He gets your jokes.
9. The way he licks his ten fingers 'cos that Ogbono soup with Iyan hit da spot, Oh Yes!!!
10. He has got his education or he got something going on.

11. He may be a baby daddy but he loves his kid and takes care of him.
12. He can have a bus load of conversation without him saying much 'cos his momma taught him that.
13. He loves to see you shake that ass to Sir Shina Peters, the original "Back That Ass Up" master.
14. He will settle an argument and say sorry while maintaining his man status.
15. I am IN charge but he is THE charge, we understand that.

16. He knows where he is from. Living in NY does not mean you are from NY.
17. He thinks you're so pretty without makeup.
18. He calls you native endearing names like "Nne" or "Omo"
19. He has respect [not to be confused with obedience) for his elders(important).
20. The way he gets embarrassed and says "I beg oh" when you compliment him.

21. The way he says "I love you baby" may be very fake yet sounds so TRUE!
22. The way he eats meat with his bare hands, for some reason it is sexy to me.
23. The way he calls you his wife in front of all his friends.
24. The way he says "Shey you get am" when he thinks you are not paying attention, but you really are.
25. The way he knows that it is you calling and answers the phone "Hey Baby!" without looking at the caller ID.

26. The way Naija men look when they are all decked out in native; there is nothing sexier than a dark chocolate man in lace o!
27. Pronounces your name like say na im born you.
28. The way he flows from Ebonics to Pidgin English to Akata with ease.
29. He is just at home at your office picnic as he is at the Naija reunion.
30. The very satisfied look on his face after eating one of your meals and the way he glares at you while picking his teeth with the tooth pick,and you both know that you are his next "meal".

31. He appreciates the art of yansh-rolling when he sees one!
32. Keeps you from too much wahala by buying an automatic rather than a stickshift vehicle he knows U can't drive!
33. He saves you money on groceries a la "limited diet". Just cook the stew and he'll figure the rest? Eba, Amala, Fufu or even plain old White Bread!
34. No need for breast implants to impress am!
35. No need to go kill himself trying to maintain a six pack. He knows u know big belle is sexy inside Agbada!

36. He knows to allow you like three hours to get ready for a party!
37. He will not complain when you waka with headful of rollers inside house but quick to let you know that there ain't nothing sexy about that when you want to go outside.
38. Your singing while doing housework is a classic reminder of what he misses when he carries Akata.
39. His lunch (Rice, Beans, Dodo, complete with carefully selected assorted meat) wey you pack for am na something u know sey im no go wait "Palam" (gobble up!) when him reach work
40. He thinks the small gap between your front teeth are actually sexy!!!!
Finally, Cool Cos He Is Just A Naija Man Period!!!"

41. he gets on his knees and asks u, Would u marry me?

Did u know that ...?

Hey Blogsville...
Happy Sunday to you all! Just got back from church, and had correct eba n' egusi soup, courtesy my mother. (I knw sum ppls mouths are watering...lol). Service was humbling, and a reminder that without Him we are nothing. And sometimes we prioritize wrongly, putting Him on the "to-do-list" and never actually getting around to it.

So all weekend the weather has been great! Talk about real sun, not that fake one that sun is shining cold go dey catch. 89degrees baby! Went out without a jacket, and walked to get some correct Vit. D. I dnt know but there's this feeling of excitement I get when the weather is nice. Waking up to sunlight streaming in thru the windows and lighting up the room, just puts me in a good mood and keeps my spirit up. I guess maybe because it reminds me of Naij, and the weather, and I dnt have to wear coats that weigh me down...lol.

Anyways, after eating my correct eba I was thinking, that since I joined blogsville I've been anonymous or "undercover", and although I still wanna keep it that way, I thought it would be nice to share a little bit of Miss Enigma or Undercover07 (I can't decide which name I like best) with you guys. Call it a meme or an icebreaker or wareva u wanna. Don't know howfar I'll go sha o...but let's see: PS: This is list is gonna be very random so beware o!

- I can't swim. I luv water, but my Mom was too scared to let me n' my older sis learn to swim :(.
- I luv to dance. I don't exercise, I dance. Sometimes when listening to a 9ja tune I jst wanna get down n' move my body, but I'm sure the people around me will think something is wrong wiv me. I dnt knw how people sit still listening to music, yea I knw some songs r just for chillin' no dance needed, but when u're listening to jamz like 'Kini big deal', 'bumper 2 bumper', 'Bosigbangba', 'Wiskolowiska', M.I's album and co...demonstration is needed...lol

- My fav. shows are Brothers n' Sisters, Dancing with the Stars, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill.

- One of my fav. movies is Tomb Raider; I luv Angelina Jolie n' her dnt mess attitude (No homo).

- I like small cute tattoos like butterflies, angels, or initials; but umm the fear of God and needles would not let me get one o!

- I luv jewelry especially real .925 (silver jewelry), I think it looks great on black/dark skin. I'm not into yellow gold even though I might wear it once in a while when am going for a wedding and my Mom insists. I think my wedding band is gonna be white gold or platinum.

- Once worked in the jewelry department of a store, and yup a good chunk of my pay-check went right back to the store.

- I luv sleep! I can sleep for 10hours straight! Chances of me waking up to answer a phone-call or very, very slim.

- I'm horrible at returning phone-calls, texts and generally keeping in touch. Sometimes I don't know what to say when I call and I hate that awkward moment in the conversation when we've both run out of things to say after the pleasantries, so I avoid it. As for guys, I never return the call bcos I know wat they really wanna know is "when can we hang out?", and I find it uncomfortable hanging out with a guy who I know is interested, but I am not becos I have a man, and therefore every other guy is invisible...lol...sorry.

- When it comes to colors and style, I'm more of a sexy, classy n' mature look. I admire people who take risks with colors because I don't. There people who can pull off certain color combos and styles, and that's not me. Like neon colors, vintage and all dat, no be me at all. Even with my nails, I play safe but yday I stepped out of my comfort zone with hot pink nail-polish, and am luvin' it!!!

- Brown is my favorite color. (Me playing safe again...lol) I feel its timeless, and mature. I have 3 brown pocket-books (hand-bags), 4 brown jackets, 3 brown pairs of boots...u get the drift. My school folder is brown too...lol.

- I'm 4"11 (yes yes, I'm short, tiny, petitie or compact as my babie calls me...lol) and I wear flats most of the time. I only wear heels if I have to: wedding, church, interview, clubbing (I carry flat slippers in my clutch cos I want to dance and not break my leg or ankle). Thank goodness that I can wear flats to work if not e for hard.

- I used to be conscious of my height and size, but I totally love it now! Ppl are always eager to help...like when traveling to 9ja and pushing suitcases dat I can literally fit in, every guy wants to help, or when I board the plane b4 I say "jack" sum1 has offered to help put my hand luggage in the top compartment. People are just seem intrigued, and such can be used to my advantage. It sucks @ times sha especially in 9ja where they dnt look at ID, instead they size u up b4 u let u in. Well, dats why my man is 3times my size...like Will n Jada.

- Ehen, I luv power-bikes! I doubt if I'll ever learn to ride o, but I luv going for a ride. And whenever am in 9ja, I don't fail to fly bike o. Yes, I know they are dangerous but come on. Wind in ur hair, stunners on, going so fast you think you can fly, while others are in traffic...its like my Angelina Jolie badass chic moment...lol. My boyfrnd hates 'em and cringes when I tell him I got on one.

- I luv 9ja food...especially Ofada rice, and beans and dodo. My Mom keeps saying even with all the beans I eat, I refused to add height...meanwhile she's like 5"3 o...lol.

- There are only two kids in my family; my older sister is married with kids...U get the picture.

- I like using "..." a lot; am sure u've noticed that by now.

- Besides blogging...I have a journal. I've been keeping journals since JS3. I took a break off them later on, but I think I have about 6 journals hidden somewhere in the ceiling in my room in 9ja. Dnt ask why or how they got there...that was the safest place I cld think of b4 leaving. Wld go and carry my property when next I go home.

- Ohhh did I tell u that I'm crazy about BMW's! I think they are classy, hot, and multi-purpose. U can drive 'em to work, a night out or even a day with the kids. My dream cars 650i convertible and X5 30i.

- I'm in a LDR with someone I met three years ago, and 'em we sha had something but then I just disappeared without a word. And three years later and a couple of relationships later, we're together again. DB and Roc were the first commenters then when the drama was unfolding.

Ok o e don do for one post. I'll continue this at a much later date in the not so near future. Maybe when next am bored, and in the mood. Thanks for stopping by.
Enjoy ur week guys, and hope you all accomplish whatever it is you have set out for the week. Goodluck to those writing exams, tests, papers or meeting dead-lines at work. In whatever you do, put your best foot forward, and remember to put Him first!

Luff u guys!

xoxo Miss Enigma!

PS: Was gonna upload pics of my hot pink nails but blogger is acting up.

Hey Blogsville... Just testing my blogging abilities from my phone. Hpe u guys have a great weekend! xoxo Miss Enigma!

Unmerited Favor

Hello Blogsville...

As at this morning, the plan was to update you guys on how things were with the boyfriend and I; but through the course of the day, that has changed because "man proposes, God disposes."

I stayed up till 4am yday to work on an assignment that was due for my 12.30pm class,and then woke up 5hrs later to put finishing touches and prepare for school. I tried to get dressed in time to catch an early bus and get to school on time so I could print my work and all that, but as I looked at my clock I knew I wouldn't make it, but still, I continued to organize my stuff. Normally, I dnt switch bags for school, but because I was carrying a big text-book I needed to today. As, I was about putting my books and things into the bag, I noticed a bank envelope inside. I took it out to see if there was anything in it; lo and behold my people of blogsville, I found two crispy hundred dollar bills!


Fast forward. I have a math test in about 2hrs so I decide to go to the library to brush up before the test; but stopped to used the bathroom first. 2hrs later, am packing my property and about to head to class for the test, when suddenly I realize that my purse is no where to be found! Immediately it hits me, I left it in the bathroom 2hrs ago! So I rush back, mumbling to myself "Pls God, pls God..." I walk into the bathroom...but it was gone. My last hope was that maybe, just maybe someone was nice enough to drop it with the security guards at the library entrance. But wat are the chances of that happening? My purse held everything, credit cards, debit cards, licence, school ID, insurance card, family pics, and my money o! In this time of economic/ credit crunch, this no be time to lose money ooo!! I approached the security guard and asked her if any1 had dropped of a brown purse? She reached into her drawer and pulled out my purse! Everything was intact! Not even a dime was missing!


Its been a long day and all I want to do is catch elimination show of American Idol while nicely tucked underneath the covers...thats all am thinking about as I get off the bus and begin the challenge of climbing up this really steep hill. Bout 15mins later I am finally infront of my apartment when a tiny voice says check ur pocket to make sure ur bus-pass is there o! U guessed right, it wasn't. I had just bought the pass on my way to school...a whole $81 monthly pass, na e don disappear so like film trick. Oya, about turn! I started walking back down the hill to the bus-stop; I must to find am. And found it I did. And yes, I had to climb the freaking hill again!

...Yup blogsville, all this happened in one day. Some might say the stars lined up for me, or that I was just lucky. I disagree. It was all by His Grace...God's GRACE! Everyday we receive his grace in various aspects of our life. From waking up to finding my bus-pass its all by His grace. I mean whoever found that purse could have walked away with it, and done whatever they wanted to, but they didn't...

Although I am His child and thus entitled to blessings of the kingdom, I am not worthy. I focus so much on my so called busy life, that I forget who gave me life. Constantly on the go trying to meet dead-lines and honor appointments and handle schedules... but never taking time to schedule an appointment with my Father. I try not to turn people down, but am always post-poning or cancelling my date with Him. But like a patient lover He perseveres. Never judging or giving up on me, even when I give up on myself. A man with interests would have lost interest in me by now, but unlike man He does not lie...so when He says that I am the apple of His eyes, He means it.

I am not worthy, but still yet He envelopes me in His love, and humbles me with HIS GRACE- unmerited favor from God.

Woo-saa!!!

Hey Blogsville,

How's everybody doing? I guess everyone's looking 4ward to the weekend...hopefully for that much needed rest. I haven't updated or blogged in awhile bcos I've been taking time to just listen and by listen I mean reading ur blogs and dropping comments here n' there. Great job guys! So b4 I unleash my bottled up emotions let me jst say dat what am about to type is simply a written version of my chaotic thoughts @ the moment; it most likely will not be coherent,and might make no sense but please I beg u to excuse my mood, and just allow me vent.

How can something be so wonderful one minute and just be totally upsetting the next. It picks you up one minute and the next it's slamming you against the hard floor like a laborer dropping a bag of cement...and just when u think u've had enuff, it goes on to throw you in a pool of mixed emotions. You can't decide if you are drowning out of fear or if it is dat u just dnt have the will power to swim or your pride won't let you beg to be saved. You feel so many things at the same time, you think this can't be possible...you're trying to think rationally and logically but you just can't. You try to make a point, your mind is racing, your heart is pumping, your hands are making gestures, and your lips are moving but the words...the words...where are the right words to make your point?

If only I myself could understand what exactly I am feeling maybe that would help; but I have no clue. I'm so used to talking to him everyday on the phone, and hours chatting that one day without a phone-call and am mad. Honestly, am not mad truth is I miss him...but when he finally calls or comes online my pride won't let me say I missed u. Instead I have a diva attitude, I'm responding in mono-syllables, and not calling him Babie. Wivout even wasting time he apologizes and tries to explain; I know its not an everyday thing and its very unlike him but cut him some slack, I won't. Day 1, Day 2...I know am holding on to a flimsy issue for too damn long... Day 3, "Come on luv...am sorry" he says, I wanna stop and call him Babie so bad, but I've dragged a flimsy issue for so long that I dnt know how to shake it off.

3 days, he's apologized, inquired to know wats wrong, how he can fix it, and all dat...and all three days I've shot him down. Y'day he's gotten frustrated and doesn't know watelse to say so he decides to give me my space to clear my head and all. Now it's been 24hrs and not a word, and if I say I dnt miss him...na lie I talk o! I can't tell you how many times I check my fone to see if he was online, or sent a text or maybe even a missed call.

Yes I know I over-played the Diva card, but now I dnt knw how to find my way back. My stubborness won't allow me make the first move, and even if I tried wat do I say? Saying am sorry makes me feel like the weak party. I don't know man, I'll hold out till 2morrow and see what happens.

Now that I've emptied my jumbled thots...and can begin to think clearly, lemme summarize in a couple of sentences, what am not handling well and need to figure out how to. (I'm not ashamed to tell u my blogsville family that I have flaws...lol). Bcos I do not want to be considered as the weak party am picking unnecessary fights, and as a result am losing sight of when to (and not) compromise, and when to walk away.

So my question is this; "How do you compromise without feeling like the weak party? How do you pick your fights without feeling like you are over-reacting? And how do you know to walk away from certain issues for the sake of your sanity?"

This will be a topic for another day. I'm off to bed.

PS: I'm gonna laugh at myself in the morning when I read this post. Love is work o!

Dear Smoker...

Hey Blogsville...
How's everybody doing? Hope u're all having a great week?! I know some people aren't; and to those fellow residents who aren't, I want you guys to know dat there's always sunshine after the rain...no matter wat u're going thru school work stress, work stress, relationships issues, family drama, personal/ emotional hurdles...wa'eva it is just know that He didn't bring u this far to leave you here...and watever He starts, the good Lord finishes!
Ok so something has been bothering me/ vexing me lately and I just need to vent! And am gonna do it in form of a letter.

Dear Smoker,
Let me start off by saying personally, I have nothing against you and your fellow partners in smoking. If u choose to huff and puff knowing fully well the health hazard tied to it, then that's ur decision to make. But what me I don't understand, can't tolerate and find rather offensive and annoying, is the fact that you choose to involve me in ur decision to smoke. I respect the fact that you need to light-up and so I step away from you but u refuse to stay away; instead you follow me and bathe me in smoke. Why? I thot that was why they have reserved areas called "smokers section."

Almost everywhere I go, you go with me....and along with you comes the smell of smoke, both on you and in your breathe. At the bus-stop, you know fully well that any minute now the bus will be here, but instead of finishing up early, you wait till you're about to board to take ur last drag...and then exhale on the bus. Why? At work you know that you're going to hold a conversation with me while I cash your check or process your transactions so why not pop some strong mint or chew some nice flavored gum or sumthing! Instead you stand infront of me, and I am forced to inhale the air that comes from your cigarette smoke breathe, even the bullet-proof glass doesn't help in filtering the air. Why?

Like I said at the beginning of this letter, I have nothing against you or your personal choice to light-up; afterall I do have members of my family who do same. But they are all kind enough to do what they do a couple of yards away from the non-smokers...and I am grateful for that. I just wish you could do the same for me my dear Smoker. Please! Looking forward to a positive change in your actions. Thank you!

Love,
Ur Victim.


- My fellow blogsville peeps, I'm lookin 4ward to my dear friends 21st this weekend! Woohoo!!!
As I promised I'll keep y'all updated. Take care y'all...Deuces!!!...lol

xoxo...UnderCover07 alias Miss Enigma!

Stuck on you....

So my day started off gloomy yday... I woke up feeling unmotivated to do anything. If not bcos my efficient Profs. take attendance and it counts towards my final grade, I prolly would have skipped class. I turn on my lappy to check everything checkable (FB, e-mails, blogs, twitter...) and to also discover new blogs (I keep finding interesting blogs err'day :-)...I luv it!). In my quest, I found MissLove's blog and began reading her "Love letter for Pappy", ah! wat a way to express one's love; this babe has fallen head over o, gud for her.

So, I continue reading. Next thing, I hear the song "Stuck on you" by Lionel Richie playing from her blog playlist...and immediately I know I shd either hit the mute button or skip the song if Iwant to get thru the day in one piece. But I cldn't bring myself to do it, and as the song played on the memories attached to it were as vivid and clear as if they happened yesterday. It was the song he sang to me @ the kareoke, infront of everyone, friends and all. The tears began to flow; I manage to put myself together, afterall I had a whole day ahead of me.

An hour fifteen minutes later, am on the train and sitting across from me, a young couple. Both of them in their early to mid twenties, hand in hand reading the morning paper together, and talking ' bout wat they had planned for the day. Wetin na??? Dem send una to come haunt me this morning!!! I take the train regularly and I shd be used to this scene, but u know no matter hw many times u encounter it, for someone whose man is thousands of miles away, there are certain days when u jst can't handle it. This was one of those days! Damn, LDRs are evil! *sighs* but oh well I got into it with my eyes wide open.

Anyhoo, to help my mood, inbetween classes I went to therapy...RETAIL THERAPY!!! Yea, yea I know it doesn't fill the actual void I feel from missing my babie, and its only a temp. high but I needed it. And besides, I have a bday dinner coming up, so I used one stone to kill two birds...lol. Well, let's just say the session went well...and I came away with great deals, and got back to class in time; the benefit of having ur school 15mins away from Manhattan!

Well, dats it for now. Like I said before, I've discovered quite a number of beautiful, inspirational, enlightening, naughty, hilarious, spiritual, and self-discovering blogs. Aloted, RocNaija, Sexkitten, funms-funms, Verastic and a bunch of others that I can't remember right now. Thanks guys, everyone is so unique and I leave each blog with something new!

TGIF!!! Enjoy guys!
xoxo Miss Enigma!!!