Saturday, June 20, 2009

Imperfect Me

...She lay in bed, with her head at the foot of the bed
And her feet resting on the pillows at the head of bed.
She lay upside down.
Just like the thoughts in her head.
Laptop lay open on the bed,
Playing a mixture of soft tunes from Yahoo's Quiet Storm station.
Her thoughts? Restless. Unsettled. Questioning.
Not even the erotic description of the three-way escapade between Lola, Mrs. Jones and Gideon in E.J.D's Walking with Enemies could bring her to the present.

"...am getting sick and tired of all this." Those were his words
And she had them on repeat in her thoughts.
Patient and understanding- that's him.
Sick and tired- hardly ever.
So how did he get to this point?
She had done it again.
She had shutdown.
In his own words, "gone cold" when he needed answers.

She never wants to sound like a nag
So instead of communicating and saying what's on her mind
She plays the nothing is wrong card
But has a bad poker face/attitude
Bcos he knows something's not right
But he's not getting answers; Instead,
Mono-syllabic replies. Avoidance. Emotional disconnect.
A 180 change in personality from his Babie.

"...you can pour out ur heart on ur blog,
but not to the one you love." So he said.
I am she.
I am imperfect. I have flaws. Said it from the get go.
And me saying nothing when its something is one of them
I know it's frustrating to deal with
But am working on it, really I am!

I can't achieve perfection...I don't even want to
But...I'm a work in progress.
Everyday, I work on being a better me
How long it'll take? I know not.
How often I'll slip? One...two...and counting
When I'll give up? Never.
So the question is do you have enough patience
Or did that well run dry already?
I hope not.


Talk to you guys soon
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

12 comments:

akaBaGucci said...

I like the part about ...I'm a work in progress. Everyday, I work on being a better me.

That's the spirit. But then some communication also helps.... Chin up.. Hopefully, its not as bad as it seems!

Sir Scribbles II said...

Mehn it must be hard oh! At least you know watz wrong and you are tryin to be better...He loves you so he can be patient but don't take too long to sort things out...talk to him...talk!

BBB said...

u have to talk about it girl.. cos trust me u neva forget and it will blow up one day......dont lock it in..

Adaeze said...

Great post. I can relate!
Love is patient, remember that..and being in a relationship is a journey of patience..but it must be balanced with sense.

Tigeress said...

I like. I true work everyday on being a better me, a better person.

Nice one Miss Enigma.

Please check out my recent post on http://thecounselorandherthots.blogspot.com/

jhazmyn said...

Hope so too, but its great that you're a "work in progress" and not a "its who i am, so accept me for me" cos communication is so key...you hang in there and pull through stronger

sweetness said...

he loves u
u feel the same
talk to him
it gets easier wen u start
ul be fine :)

Rene said...

I agree you are a working progress, does he read your blog? tell to give you time...maybe that's all you need....to adapt

btw, banky w's blog is http://bankyw.blogspot.com/

yinkuslolo said...

hey miss,
thanx for stopping by my blog.
u requested for banky's blog link.
http://bankyw.blogspot.com/

that's it.

x.x.

yinkuslolo said...

oh rene already sent it u.
:))

Mimi said...

awwwwwwww :)

i understand u :)

RocNaija said...

Ok.. I see Yinkus & Rene just beat me to it..