Sunday, August 9, 2009

La Famille

Hello Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? Hope everyone had a great weekend!

I went to church today, and today's sermon was on PEACE, and realizing that we do not create peace but that the Prince of Peace gives us peace from above that surpasses all human understanding. When I got home, I had that bubbly, God given, Holy- Spirit filled kinda high, you get after church. But that high feeling was kinda short-lived after one phone-call.


It's my Dad's birthday today. I called him to wish him a Happy B'day but the conversation jst felt so rehearsed. Filled with one-liners, lacking emotions of excitement and joy for another year in his life. The tension and the brewing pain/hurt from the words spoken in the past and those unspoken were present but yet absent. And these feelings are mutual. Mine aimed directly at him, but his not necessarily at me per se, but as the child of my mother, whatever is aimed at her, am guilty of as well. It has always been so from the time when we (my sister and I) could understand certain things and chose to cling to her as we are all she's got.


You most likely won't understand this post in its entirety, but am sure u'll have rough picture.

They've been together about 30 years now. He was my Mom's first and only boyfriend. She wasn't into the whole dating thing, very simple, humble and loving and more focused on her education so she could care for her younger siblings. They had 2kids, but u know the African quest for that male child...yup, well that male child did come and he's 2months older than I am. (Go figure). That notwithstanding, she ddn't create a scene...she stayed and kept it all 2geda for the sake of her own kids.

My Mom is the kind of person that will take the clothes off her back so that you can be warm, she'll wear ankara so that you can wear lace, she'll take the back-seat so that you take the front, she'll stand in your shadow so that you get the recognition...and am not saying this jst cause; I get mad at her sometimes sef..."Everytime u r doing for someone else, when will you do for yourself?" Her reply? "If they are happy and ok...I am happy." As a Nurse whenever someone was ill be it from her side of the family or Dad's side, everybody consulted her for advice or for her to refer them to a good Dr. and use her connections. When my Grandpa (Dad's Dad) died she was there by his side, he sent for her.

So few years ago, she got the opportunity to come n' work here in Yankee and cos I was under 21 then I got to tag along. Somehow, things worked out well as per Green Card n' all, and so began our stay here o. Momsie saw it as opportunity for the family in general; I get to go to school here, she gets a good job, we cld file for family members to come visit and what not...and general freedom to travel and boundless opportunities. But u see, he doesn't and neither does his family. As a spouse, he cld have come along, but he ddn't think it was gonna come through now he feels left out. And so has some form of resentment towards Momsie and I. It's funny cos it's not as if life is easy here, u gotta work to get paid. And in a normal house-hold financial responsibility is shared, but here she takes care of it all.

Lol...them say who no go no know. There are good memories of my family o, I won't lie. Lots of good memories, but u know then I was a child oblivious to all this underlying tension that has been on even b4 I was born. But now I'm old enough to understand. And I've learnt A LOT! (will talk about that in another post). Momsie is in her late fifties, and she has spent most of her life doing, doing and doing for people. Giving, giving, giving and caring for people who didn't appreciate. People who just want to squeeze everything they can out of her till there's nothing left to give. But now she's done giving a damn. Afterall, her kids are grown, Sis is a Dr., married with 2kids, and as for me :-) well I graduate next fall. So now she's just doing her and leaving the rest to God...enough is enough.



I dnt knw where I was going with this but I just needed to write to help ease my heart and spirit of the burden at the moment. I don't know if it's the writing that helps or just doing something help take the mind of the issue, but whatever it is, it works cos I'm feeling much better and am back on that high. I'll type a more coherent post concerning what I've learnt, later on sha.

My advice to everyone is that, please respect, honor, and appreciate your parents and your mothers ooo, u don't know what they've gone through, the things they endure just so that we are happy.

Have a great week ahead guys!!!


Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

15 comments:

TaioFierce Ameen said...

Yea, sum pple dont evn appreciate their parents , mothers esp. they bliv were dey r is dere sole rite... dey shld beta strt cos dey dont knw everi dt wnt down b4 dey came abt.......

Nice Anon said...

Somewhat story of my life. It is well!

akaBagucci said...

Yet another fabulous Mum -- what would we be without them..

For a moment I tot it was Padosh commenting above -- same picture i think!

jhazmyn said...

I can almost imagine how it feels,reading bout your mum reminds me of my hubby's mom who has raised her 4kids alone for the past 30yrs, as hard as it might be, i think its possible to just free your dad to be his person afterall, he's made his choices.

God has blessed your mum and in turn blessed you, so much so that you could just accept him as your father, his decisions or not

Arewa said...

Very touching story but I'm glad ur mum didn't let the whole 'son' issue degenerate into messy drama and she took the decision to move which u are better for. So be thankful dear

BSNC said...

that was a touching story. They say never under estimate the lenght a mother can go for her child. God dey....

pink-satin said...

just saw your comment on my blog...no way...u went to QC too...ME TOO!!!lol

pink-satin said...

The things mothers do for their kids!!God bless your mom..she is truly a wonderful person!

muyiwa said...

Just stopping bye on your blog,nice post

Tigeress said...

interesting.....your mum's actions (or lack of it) can be viewed from different points.

leggy said...

na wa oh...i always think mums rock!!i love my dad but my mum rocks more!!``

Afronuts said...

Wow...

For a moment I thought you were talking of my Mom there!

She fits the description you gave and she was a nurse too!

Glad you have such a sweet Mum - just like I do. What would we do without them?

And Many happy returns to ur Dad.

Temite said...

oh darlingggg!
IM sorry
Life is difficult but we get through it. Your Mom sounds like a great woman. I hope she is happy now.

RocNaija said...

Hmm.. I see I posted on the wrong post..

Buttercup said...

Awww..sigh. Glad you felt better after writing. *hugs*