Thursday, June 10, 2010

U have a Man...So What???

Hello B'ville...
How's everyone doing? Hope your week has been great! And as usual I'm sure we're all counting down to the weekend, at least I know I am. My girlies and I (and a few other people from out of town) are having a little weekend getaway. Casino. Beach. Partying. Margaritas/Pina Coladas. Parasailing. Jet-Skiing. *sigh* I so cannot wait.

Anyways, the other day I was reading SBM.org and the topic was "Yes...I Have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend" and it was talking about how to let a guy/girl know that you are unavailable to prevent them from hitting on you. After reading the post, I'm still not sure what is the proper/polite way of dropping the hint without screaming "I Have a Boyfriend!!!"...lol. Because sometimes it's as if some guys are either deaf, have selective hearing or just enjoy being stubborn and relentless for this matter. And then there are the ones that flirt with you, give you all the signs that they are slowly approaching the "I want to be more than friends phase" or "U have a man...so what???" phase, and the minute you try to set them straight and nip that ish in the bud, they deny it; you go come be like say na for your dream you dey imagine things. You almost begin to wonder if you were the one over analyzing things, or whether you don dey craze small small.

I just recently experienced two different situations. Guy A, I met two years ago on a connecting flight to Naija. Couple of very casual how r u, wats new phone conversations within the past two years, and nothing mre o. Next thing dude says he's gonna be in NY and wants to take me to dinner. If to say he say quick lunch or coffee (I dnt drink coffee sha) e for dey manageable...but dinner ke? I'm like sorry that's not possible...he goes on to start spitting lyrics that he knows I'm in a rship, but he is willing to accept whatever I have to offer. Lol...dude, I ain't got nothing to offer u bikonu, not even friendship because from there na other story I go hear. Fwd to last month, he wants me to cme and spend Memorial weekend in ATL...laff nor let me laff. And what am I supposed to tell my boyfie I'm going to do in ATL?Long story short, no deleted. Calls ignored. I nor fit shout.


Guy B, met on twitter, funny n' cool dude. Next thing o boy goes from first name bases to affectionate nick-names;*raised eyebrow* but I'm like no shaking everybody is a dear, darling n sweerie these days so no wahala. But when I refuse to follow bros talk on top skype, kata kata come burst o. I'm like can we keep this strictly twitter n BBM...dude becomes withdrawn and less-friendly, and said why do I have to pull the "I have a boyfriend line". *kanyeshrug* Guy no vex o, dem say prevention is better than cure...I'm only trying to prevent any misunderstanding down the line a beg u. In the words of My Luv, "lead us not into temptation is better than deliver us from evil..."

So my B'ville family what is the correct or less direct way of nipping ish in the bud before it gets unnecessarily complicated. And I understand that (maybe) not every guy is interested in being more than friends, but for the ones that you can tell have an agenda;
- How do you set awon guys straight? 
- And when a guy is being overly persistent and you've done all you can to no avail, do you hand over to your significant other to handle the situation or keep 'em out of the picture? 
- And for the guys that claim not to have an agenda, why una dey vex when babe talk say she get man and nor dey interested in any wuru wuru rumu rumu runs? #justsaying


I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced this, so share your experiences and my blogsville men come and answer oo, calling on SugarKing, DBagucci, Blogoratti, Dynamique Prof, Scribbles, David, and all the other guys (can't remember names ryt now).


In other news, if anyone is coming to NY to visit and wants to hangout, holla @ me. Y'all shd come see the FELA show on Broadway; I plan on seeing it b4 the end of the summer. Friend of mine saw it and gave it great reviews, plus the media has been raving about it too...support your own! And Congratulations to the award winners!!! I berra be a nominee next year o if not ...well make we dey look sha.

Catch y'all next week when I return from my getaway. Have a wonderful weekend ahead, and pray for someone...intercede on someone's behalf.


Talk you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

         

             

9 comments:

Blogoratti said...

Have a fun time...

leggy said...

im really not qualified to answer the question so ill just stay out of it.have a great weekend.

Nee Fe Mi said...

Have fun this weekend, i'm envious....i always say i have a boyfriend even when i don't have a boyfriend, lol, so its easy for me...plus i tend to push guys away, even thru all the smiles, my friends think the guys get intimidated, i think they fear rejection either ways sha... i think its always wise to mention your bf from the get go and if its getting out of hand, let ur bf know about the situation although i wont advise that he deal with it...you deal with it by cutting the person off.

Giagerry said...

LOOOL @ nifeemi saying she has a boo when she doesnt--mehn for me o situation odikwa tuff o--some boys wont just hear!
Or some know but r looking for "anything u have to offer"--I'm like do u really think i'd date u and date my boo at d same time--biko gone r dose days o *raised eyebrow*--LOl girls have grown!!
hahahha I had one just exactly like that in ATL--hommie was literally asking for me to like double date, when im here i'm his chick, wen im in canada im mr punch's--ahhh that was the height--I just said "I'm sorry, cant do, ur fone calls r getting very uncomfortable and i'd really appreciate it if you dont call me again"
After i hung up--i thot it was mean--but at dat time dat seemed to b d only way out--now the friendship doesnt pass all dose txt msgs like once in 2 mths dat say "hey how r u, hope ur good--take kare"
LOOOL--

COME TO MARYLANDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

Ms.O said...

LOL...I say I have a fiancée..#GBAM no qweshuns asked! LOL!

YAY FOR NYC! do you want to go see fela on July 4th Sunday at like 2:00???? BBM ME!

Myne said...

I missed you while I was in New York. Enjoy your trip!

NaijaScorpio said...

I don't know if there's a best way cos sometimes it gets awkward. If you say it from jump, it will be like, am i toasting u. If you just go ahead with the friendship and it starts to take another turn, but the guy hasn't fully come out to say i want you, that's when it gets really tricky. I guess just drop hints or find ways to talk about ur boyfriend.

I no know o! Take it on a case by case basis.

TemiY said...

there really isn't a right way, but dropping occasional comments about you and your significant other wouldn't hurt either..

enjoy your weekend!

ee said...

Chei...dis is peppered me...kai...all dis fun for yall...gosh i so miss my bffs for naija...chei....hope u had fun though....