Thursday, March 12, 2009

...Thou shall NOT settle for less!!!

...Hello Blogsville,
How r u all doin'? Hope ur week has been great! Anyway, alot has been said both in the media and in our private discussions about the whole Chrihanna (Chris and RiRi) situation. A lot of us are mad @ her for taking him back...seriously that is one decision u dnt have to think twice of making; that's wat we all say, but as the famous saying goes, "easier said than done."

The stats. are that 1 in 3 teenage girls is in an abusive relationship, and that once a guy hits you, the chances are that he's gonna hit you again! With all the light that has been shed on relationship abuse and the testimonies and can't help but wonder why are people still in them and getting into them? When you listen to the experts and the people involved (I dnt lyk the use of the word "victims") we hear the same reasons over and over again: LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM, NOT FEELING GUD ENUFF, WANTING TO BE ACCEPTED, SCARED OF LIFE WIVOUT THE OTHER PERSON...and the list goes on.

I know some people are quick to say "ah lie lie, no man can mke feel inadequate...", "Nonsense, I will jst pack my load and leave o jare..", but as cliche as this myt sound, it's not that easy. Even some famous women and empire owners have @ one point been in such relationships. Now that I sit back and re-evaluate my last relationship, I realize that there was somethings dat just weren't right. Never physical oo, just insulting, hurtful and berating. And then I used to think it was me, me, me...I used to try to fix everything and bear everything at the cost of my emotional pain.

Today...I realize that it wasn't me. Yes, I have my flaws, but it wasn't me. I was in a relationship with someone who although is a nice person, was too insecure, and immature to handle things. I kept saying oh he'll change, it's jst a phase, and he did this nice thing and dat nice
*sighs* Whenever my friends and I were on d phone, I'll skip all d fights and arguments and paint a pretty picture of love in paradise... Well, I cld go on and on about my experience, but all I want people to know, especially ladies is this;

YOU are WORTH IT, pls do not settle for less! Abuse isn't only when there is a bruise, blood or batter; when someone puts you down, calls you names, does not support your goals, is jealous of your success and achievments...and this person is supposed to be "your better half"...this is abuse. Dnt buckle under the fear that nobody else will appreciate you, no one will love you, no one will do you right becos trust me...there is a dignified man just waiting for you to notice him and give him that chance.

Trust me when a window shuts, a door opens! My door opened and I won't have it any other way! :-) Everyday, I am reminded just how special I am,and appreciated for who I am. They say everything in life happens for a reason; I went thru wat I went thru to have greater appreciation for the person I am today and the people I have in my life today.


Danny Bagucci said...

Guess everyone has a deep seated need to connect, and once you feel you have that connection, it takes a lot to break, or even move on even when it is patently obvious that away is the direction!

Arewa said...

i feel u men, its easy to put the blame on ourselves and try to 'change' but when you are dating an insecure man there's nothing you can do to make him feel adequate and satisfied and he will put all the blame on u.

i honestly would much rather get slapped than be in an emotionally abusive relationship

UnderCover07 said...

Lol...@ Arewa.I know, that emotional abuse can take quite a while to heal. Am just glad I got out before I sentenced myself to life in hell on earth.