Monday, April 4, 2011

Thanks for making me feel like CRAP!

...*sigh* Mood swings go up and down like a freaking yo-yo
Few good days, few bad days
Snap! Snap! Snap! goes my temper. Over what?
The littlest things just set the damn thing off! 
Like a pair of shoes not properly placed...Snap!
A simple question being asked...Snap!
Having to clean up after someone...Snap!
Not hearing from him becos of shitty BBM service...Snap!
You get the picture? 


I really shouldn't be in this shitty yo-yo mood phase.
I mean I currently don't have any majors issues bothering me (I think)
You know how when everything is supposed to be great or just fine
The devil finds a way to just mess with you...stirring up drama where there shdn't be any
Why can't I just have that moment where everything's great!


*sigh* There's so much I wanna tell you (and you) but my overly conscious filter wont let me  vent the way I wanna
PS: That talk with you, I know it was supposed to help but...yeah it kinda did
Becos I finally got to hear all you had on your mind all this while
But now I feel like crap! Can't even look myself in the mirror...
Why did you wait this long to say all you had to say? You waited
Waited till I stripped myself bare, naked and vulnerable to my inner most core
We wined and dined in my secret place...a place free of judgement, cross-examination 
And just when I thought all was well and as close to perfect as it could be...
You set me up... placed me on the stand before the jury - yourself
To be judged and cross-examined *sigh*
And then you expect me to fight and defend myself...how?
How am I supposed to? With what strength? I am drained.
Emotionally. And this is worse than physical strength being taken away.


The irony is, you still want to wine and dine...like nothing happened. 
*sigh* I'm even too drained to finish typing this.
Principles. You ask me where my principles are? Hmmmm...lol
I'm not perfect, I make mistakes...and you do too, so where you get off coming to question my principles I don't know... Thing is, I keep my shut becos I hate having to apologize for my words...so rather than say what I really wanna say and then apologize later....I'll fall back....say this, lessons learned! 









               
        

5 comments:

Mrs Newlywed said...

DEEP..............

Adaeze said...

liking this...speaks to my heart. Love xxx

shorty said...

Hope you ok hun?

Myne Whitman said...

You may not want to speak in anger, but do speak regardless when you can. It releases...

All the best.

LohiO said...

:(