Hanging In There...

...Hang in there, that's what we say to someone going through a rough patch, with the believe that that rough patch will soon pass.
Hang in there, focus on the big picture, it's all a phase...I say this to people and more times than I can ever count, I say it to myself. But, heck it's easier said than done.
The past couple of weeks have been kinda, sorta rough and trying.
Distance sucks huge balls!!! Never get into a LDR, I tell ya, its the worst thing you can do to yourself *sigh* 


Now that I'm done with school and I'm now working, I feel the distance more than ever. Before, I had school to keep my focus, and keep me busy/distracted. But now that I have my weekends, and after work hours to myself, I find myself feeling his absence more and more :( I mean, I wanna go out to dinner, movie or even just walk through the park. Road-trips, vacations, and even lazy indoor weekends...*sigh*

It's summer and everyone is going away on vacation to diff places, acquiring new experiences and memories, I'm just here. For someone who loves to travel I sure as hell haven't done any in years! Instead of planning trips, I save up vacation time to be able to go visit Nigeria. I mean Naij is fun during Christmas and all, but it would be nice to travel somewhere else...even Dubai, South Africa ain't a bad idea.

My good friend who used to be my plus one to events and hanging out now has a boyfie so yeah, I don't see her anymore and I don't like hanging out  with them...being a third wheel isn't fun either.

So I'm hanging in there, but I gotta say it ain't easy and some days I almost want to just stop hanging and just...you know how when Meredith drowned in Grey's Anatomy, instead of fighting and swimming she just let herself drown? Yeah, that's kind of how I feel sometimes. Maybe my McDreamy will come and save me like Derek came to save Meredith *sigh* wishful thinking abi? Smh

Ok, I'm gonna stop now so I dnt sound like I'm whining...I just needed to talk and share without feeling bad or selfish. :( 

My birthday is in 2weeks and I don't know what I'm doing this year...tired of the usual dinner and drinks...wanna do something nice and fun. Suggestions??? If I had my own place, I would have thrown a BBQ party but oh well. I'm getting old, but thank God I dnt look it. I can still pass for 16-17 :) and that's about 7yrs off my real age; not bad eh? I know.

Have a great weekend every one and thanks for lending your me your ears :* 

Hugs and Kisses,
Miss Enigma! 

...Double Anniversary...!!!

Hi Me Darlings,

It's been a minute! It's been a really crazy week and it's about to continue with this week again, but I am grateful...I nor complain o.

So I'm not going to give a review of the NEAs becos I think I'm kinda late (:( sorry guys), and everybody else has already given y'all whatever gist there is. Nothing extra ordinary happened jare... But I got to meet a lot of people, bloggers, twitter family, old high-school friends, made new contacts...and got to take pics with awon celebs them, and party with them. I got to meet Neefemi, OriginalMgbeks, and Ray (I dnt know his blog link :(, but he is a regular on Verastic radioshow and my twitter paddy). I really wish I could put pics, but I'm not ready to loose my anonymity (of which I think my cover has been blown lol but make we dey look sha). Aside from the time delay, poor organization/production, and girl drama in the hall...I had a great night! Got home at about 5.15am.

In other news this September is a double anniversary month for me o. I started blogging Sept. 1st 2008! And three weeks after that day I reunited (via FB) with an old "friend" whom I had lost contact with since 2005. One thing led to another and today he is My Luv. *wink wink* Two years and counting...if anybody had told me things would have turned out the way they did, I would have sworn...impossible! Talk about drama, decisions and hurt...but we still dey o. For those who want to catch up on ur journey...feel free to indulge here:

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2008/10/man-drama.html

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2009/05/case-of-ex.html

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2009/05/letter-to-exlast-scene.html

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2009/09/kiss-to-remember.html   

There have been ups and downs but at the end of the day, the past two years have been good...really, really good. Neither one of us is perfect, but there's nothing like having someone who makes your happiness a priority...supports you...and takes steps towards improving himself and you. And even when we have our misunderstandings and I'm forming upset and all, my heart is secretly going pitter patter at the sound of his voice...his voice...*blushes* my Mother is convinced that that's what got me attracted to him before I started noticing his personality n' all...and I dnt doubt her...lol. Even my closest friend can testify to the...sexiness of his voice.

But all kidding aside, the one thing I've come to appreciate from this relationship is the manner in which we resolve issues, communicate and get through rough days. I used to think I communicated well in relationships, but ermmm no, I ddn't. But I'm learning to do so now, and even when I'm being a hard-nut his patience and genuine show of concern helps a lot. LDRs are NOT easy and sometimes they take a toll...but even with the rough days...I am grateful.

So today, I am thankful and appreciative of what I have, what we have... and I pray that the good Lord continues to order our steps and bless us. 

Have a wonderful Sunday and week ahead me darlings!!! And for those of us praying and waiting for breakthroughs...He hasn't forgotten us. 

Talk to you soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!           

     

Random Update

Hi B'ville,

For a second, I almost typed 'hi tweeps'...lol...Twitter is technological crack...no jokes! It gets you high, gets you addicted...and then gets you hungover, but you still keep coming back for more *sigh*

Hope y'all had a peaceful and somewhat productive weekend? Mine was, and I'm still trying to be productive but I've been itching to blog and jst cldn't avoid it anymre...so hear I am, typing up a random post for your reading pleasure :)

The response to my Long Distance Relationship 101 post was wow! 22 comments, the highest this blog has ever received. I wasn't sure how u guys were gonna receive the post, but apparently you all loved it, and found it very informational and supportive of your own thots on LDRs. I am grateful to everyone that read, and left a comment. I plan on doing a Part Deux II...this time focusing more on the emotional, social and trivial but important issues. Again, I'm no expert just writing from my 4yrs and counting of personal LDR experience. If you have any qstns or suggestions e-mail me: MsUndercover7@yahoo.com

I'm still waiting on a response from two agencies for a summer internship...waiting isn't fun at all. I've put it all in His hands, because I have no power of my own. #Pray for me o.

I'm worried. Supposed to graduate in Dec. but if I can't complete my foreign language requirement, I'm gonna have to stay one more semester and graduate in May '11. Ah! How many years will someone stay in school for? I want to be out in Dec, so I can start my Masters in Sept '11. I'm tired of when people call and they say 'ah u still haven't finished?" For crying out loud, is it play I'm playing here? If I don't get out by Dec., I dnt knw if I'll want to go home to Naij in Dec. for Christmas, cos I cnt stand the qstns. (My Luv dsn't knw this...he's not going to be happy if he sees this)


Speaking of My Luv, he seems to be on a mission. His mission is to drown me in his love...I'm constantly on cloud 9. I don't know what tomorrow has in-store for me or anyone else, people are here today, gone tomorrow. And then we wish we had said this, done this or could make amends. I do not want to wish anything tomorrow, so instead of putting up a front and playing silly games... this is me appreciating you my darling today. For being you, for being there. Thank you.


There was a Timaya and Bracket concert in NY on saturday, and I wanted to go. But thanks to my Biology quiz and a whole lot of school work, I skipped it. I heard it wasn't worth it o, that Timaya was drunk before he even got on stage...lol...gotta luv him still. Also that Bracket was "mumbling"; I guess he had a Jessica Simpson moment. Its one thing to forget the lyrics to someone else's song, but your own song? That's funny. In other entertainment news, according to our dear @BankyW via Twitter, his people are working on a him coming to NY this summer. Please, please, please if you are on Twitter or you know Banky personally, or someone who knows someone who knows him, please tell him to make it happen!!! That is one concert I won't miss at all.

I'm sure you guys have all seen the pics from Dagrin's accident, pls dnt forget to put him in your prayers. We wish him speedy recovery.

...Aiight I think that's about it for now. Excuse the randomness, I'm sleepy but trying to stay up and study.

Have a blessed week guys!

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

...Long Distance Relationship 101...

Hi Blogsville,

How's the Easter weekend going? Hope great!
I have so much to tell you guys; initially I was gonna blog about some random twitter incident/drama that happened to me, but after Vera's show today, I have something else to blog about. If u missed the Verastic radio show for this week then u're on a long thing! The topic was LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) and you ur girl had to call in and drop her two cents :). So basically, this post is my POV on LDRs, supported with my personal experience.

First and foremost, let me start off by saying LDRs are not for everyone. I say this because a LDR is no joke, it requires a lot of commitment, trust, patience and sacrifice. If you know you can't handle not seeing the person u're in a relationship with for more than a week, month or in my case a year, then just jejely save urself the madness, heart- ache and having to explain why u cldn't control ur 'agro' n 'hysteria' (cc:NiceAnon's post) and went to cheat. I repeat LDRs are not for the weak at heart, and for those who need human servicing on the regular!!!

It is great to be in a relationship with someone who you connect with on so many levels; someone who you are attracted to intellectually, emotionally, physically (very very important oo if not..hmm..lol), spiritually and all the other 'ally' connections that there might be. But I also advice that you and this person are on the same page in regards to career, goals, core-values, and education. He/She should share the same core-values as you so that your foundation is not shaky, and u atleast agree on the values that guide ur way of life, if not u'll end up arguing on everything and anything. He/She should either be in school getting their smarts on, if they've graduated then they shd either be working or pursuing their studies further, if its business they're doing then they better be working their butts off...bottom line is they shd have goals, be driven and be doing something about those goals if not it'll be hard when one person is moving forward and the other is stagnant. U begin to wonder where is this relationship going, is there a future? Can he/she handle responsibilities? And once doubt sets in...you begin to withdraw and slowly it all comes crashing.

Relationships are an investment, and LDRs are a greater investment. I say this because you devote time, emotions, finances and yourself to someone other than yourself with the hopes that that person will give you some ROI (return on investment). Unlike regular relationships where you get to see the person on a regular bases, LDRs are different so to make up for the physical absence the parties involved have to find ways to fill that void and keep the relationship interesting and constantly connected. You spend hours on the phone calling, texting, chatting, skyping, and webcamming*. You drive hours, fly across state lines and across continents to spend quality time, holidays, anniversaries and so on. For important celebrations you send flowers, presents, and lil' reminders just to let them know u're thinking of them.

All these things cost money, and that's why I mentioned in d previous paragraph dat both parties better be doing smething and have some form of financial income. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying money is everything or that it is the foundation on which a solid relationship shd be built; I know that the little things matter and there are somethings that money can't buy...but the reality is this- Big things matter, and little things matter too, but neither the big or the little things come for free...they have to be paid for. I mean check this...its not her birthday but you want to send her flowers just cause...you have to pay for it. You want to have her over during her one week Spring Break, errmm you gotta pay for the flight or drive down. Its his birthday and you can't be there, but u want to send his pressie anyway, after spending about 100bucks on a gift, you still gotta pay UPS or Fedex to ship it...if its overseas well u do the math. You spend hours on the phone and go over ur minutes, you know the phone company dnt waste time in sending you that huge bill...no mercy. So u get the picture now? LDRs are expensive...no talk say I no tell you o!

When I tell people I am in a LDR I see the skepticism in their faces, and the next thing they ask is "Aren't you worried he'll cheat?" and I ask "What stops me from cheating?". It's always easier to think the guy is d one who will cheat, but we babes are not an exception. The truth is if a guy wants to cheat he'll cheat, whether u are at the North Pole or right next to him. We see it everyday, u go out and a guy is wiv his babe but is asking u for ur number. Now this dsn't mean I've never let the thought cross my mind; I used to worry about it at the early stage but if I spend mre time worrying over what I had no control over and no actual proof of, I lose out on all the other great things that this man and relationship has to offer. So if you know you can't handle worrying, thinking, over-analyzing and spy-checking every minute, then spare yourself the high-blood pressure.

Since this post is getting long I'm gonna end on this note, with a message for those who know someone in a/an LDR. Please, please for the love of God, don't be sour and negative about it. Ur friend tells you he/she is in a/an LDR and you immediately start spewing out a number of reasons why the relationship is doomed, why it won't work out and how ur experience was horrible so therefore all others will be just as horrible. Please save us the sermon. This is someone's relationship for crying out loud, show some respect. If you want to drop your two cents do it with sense. They say one man's meat is another man's poison, the fact that urs didn't work out or u've heard dat dey dnt work is not enuff proof that this one wouldn't. Not all face-to-face/ regular relationships make it, so if a/an LDR dsn't make it, it dsn't mke it. Maybe it jst wasn't meant to be, or it was time to call it quits, or the people were jst wrong for each other.

Its hard enough being away from a loved one, dnt make it worse by disrespecting ur friends relationship, and mocking it; encourage and support him/her. If it works out rejoice with them, if it doesn't over a shoulder, an ear, some tissue and organize a girls/guys nite out...cos dats wat friends are for. Be the Cristina to your Meredith!!!!! Be their person!!!

I'm gonna do a part II on this topic. If you have any questions pls drop them in the comment box or e-mail me: MsUndercover7@yahoo.com

Have a wonderful Easter everyone!!!!
Love you guys loadzzz.....

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!!!

Very Random

Hello Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? It's the weekend again *sigh* how time flies! And a lot sure does happen within one week. So the snow that did not get to my end last week, finally hit this week. For the first time since I've been in this country, we got a snow day in NY. Praise the Lord! NY is so stingy with snow days...lol.

Meanwhile, hmmm all those who want to steal my nephew; Iphy!!! If I catch u...lol. Thanks guys, so now when I gosh, ohhh and ahhh over him u guys understand why. :)

That Twitter is very addictive and encourages amebo tooo musshhh...lol...ahn ahn. Chei! As I'm trying to sign-off and be productive ppl jst kip tweeting stuff dat is attention grabbing. But its also very helpful sha o, I got word of an internship opportunity via Twitter the other day.

Ok, so the weirdest ish happened to me today on the train. I'm sitting jejely by myself o, and this petite oldwoman asks if she can tke my pishure? Initially, I thot she was asking me to tke a pic of her; I was so shocked I ddn't knw wat to do...but everybody around was smiling so I felt bad saying no. My people na so I sit down the woman dey snap me photo ooo...talk say na her hobby to jst capture interesting and beautiful faces and moments...wonderfulous! Mke dem no tke my face tke do juju ooo, all these weird oyinbo people....lol

Yeah...yeah...so Valentine's day (pronounced Valantine...lol) is here and once again I am not going to be getting any loving :( The day I'll get to spend all these special days n' all wiv My Luv ehn, hmmm blogger no go hear word. So, on that day I shall go to church, come home and resume my sleep as usual...once again LDR is a binsssh. For those with special someones or personal persons please in as much as you shdn't wait for Val's day before you express your love, please ensure to still show ur special one some love. If u wanna do it big, do it BIG...if u wanna do it small, do it small...my own be say no go thief oo but dnt be stingy either abeg u. Nothing sucks more than really cheap, randomly selected presents. Take time to add a personal touch...and ermm pls bring the interesting stories back to B'ville ooo.

I got good news today, and I'm hoping it bears fruit; when I have concrete details I'll share.

I was gonna do a list of random things, but I've 4gotten all of it plus am sleepy...zzzzz

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Meet My Snookums!!!

Hello Blogsville,

How's the weekend coming along? It's almost over anyway, and am left wondering what in heaven's name I did with my time. Thanks for the warm welcome back y'all, greatly appreciated. Everyday something happens or a discussion takes place, and I tell myself I'm gonna blog about it; but its either I forget or something sha happens. But today na today, I must to blog, therefore however random and scatter scatter this post is, accept am lyk dat, sho gbo?lol

I used to think it was only market women and 'ashanas' that put money in their bras, apparently not. Some regular, everyday looking chic comes to the bank to make a deposit for her Momsie...she hands me the deposit slip and am waiting for the cash...and to my uttermost surprise she dips her hand into her bra and pulls out the cash...waaaat??? In this day n' age of purse, wallet, trouser pocket, even hand sef na e person dey put money for inside bra! Wonderfulous wonders! The way I looked at the money b4 picking it ehn, the babe sef go fear naa...ahn ahn. Thank goodness for hand sanitizers.

Everybody seems to be finding business opportunities to bring in extra cash, me too I need to find a lucrative business o. Meanwhile, I just missed out on an opportunity to make small extra cash...bringing weave-on to sell to the 9ja chics at my school. I used Xpression-Rose Deep to fix n' braid my hair n' they all luv it and were asking if I brought any. I was too busy soaking up all the good loving from My Luv to remember anything else...lol

Speaking of My Luv, I've been missing him o; but u know what I dnt like? (Am sure my fellow LDR participants can relate) U know when u're jst missing someone and then u jst wanna call them up n' hear their voice...u now dial their number all excited and ish, only for the person not to pick...chei!!!! The thing is painful man and sometimes vexing...lol. The excitement then turns to burtness/vexation when dey finally pick...lol. PS: Still missing u luv.

These weather people can like to over exaggerate things sometimes sha o...If u see hw dey were shouting 'snowstorm' ehn, u go think say all the snow na for America e wan fall finish. I know it was pretty heavy in places like MD sha o, but in my side of NY not a single flurry insight. Those that are snowed in, una sorry oo...by force holiday...lol...enjoy it n mke the best out of it.

Finally finished reading Steve Harvey's, "Act like a Lady, think like a Man" and boy did I enjoy it. That book is a must read IMO. I'll save my review for a later post, but if u haven't read the book pls do. It'll reinforce somethings u already know, make understand certain things better and teach u new things too.

In my last post, I promised to put up a pic of my cutie nephew...here it is; PS: This pic will be taken off in a few days or hours...but enjoy. I love him to bits, and he just brings me joy. *sigh*
That's my snookums!!! Yup he sucks his left hand just like I did...lol...and dat's him in my suitcase, helping me pack/unpack...lol...muahz! He turns ONE this month.

Aiight guys, enjoy whats left of your weekend. Stay positive, and be kind to everyone, u never know who may come ur way.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Stuck on you....

So my day started off gloomy yday... I woke up feeling unmotivated to do anything. If not bcos my efficient Profs. take attendance and it counts towards my final grade, I prolly would have skipped class. I turn on my lappy to check everything checkable (FB, e-mails, blogs, twitter...) and to also discover new blogs (I keep finding interesting blogs err'day :-)...I luv it!). In my quest, I found MissLove's blog and began reading her "Love letter for Pappy", ah! wat a way to express one's love; this babe has fallen head over o, gud for her.

So, I continue reading. Next thing, I hear the song "Stuck on you" by Lionel Richie playing from her blog playlist...and immediately I know I shd either hit the mute button or skip the song if Iwant to get thru the day in one piece. But I cldn't bring myself to do it, and as the song played on the memories attached to it were as vivid and clear as if they happened yesterday. It was the song he sang to me @ the kareoke, infront of everyone, friends and all. The tears began to flow; I manage to put myself together, afterall I had a whole day ahead of me.

An hour fifteen minutes later, am on the train and sitting across from me, a young couple. Both of them in their early to mid twenties, hand in hand reading the morning paper together, and talking ' bout wat they had planned for the day. Wetin na??? Dem send una to come haunt me this morning!!! I take the train regularly and I shd be used to this scene, but u know no matter hw many times u encounter it, for someone whose man is thousands of miles away, there are certain days when u jst can't handle it. This was one of those days! Damn, LDRs are evil! *sighs* but oh well I got into it with my eyes wide open.

Anyhoo, to help my mood, inbetween classes I went to therapy...RETAIL THERAPY!!! Yea, yea I know it doesn't fill the actual void I feel from missing my babie, and its only a temp. high but I needed it. And besides, I have a bday dinner coming up, so I used one stone to kill two birds...lol. Well, let's just say the session went well...and I came away with great deals, and got back to class in time; the benefit of having ur school 15mins away from Manhattan!

Well, dats it for now. Like I said before, I've discovered quite a number of beautiful, inspirational, enlightening, naughty, hilarious, spiritual, and self-discovering blogs. Aloted, RocNaija, Sexkitten, funms-funms, Verastic and a bunch of others that I can't remember right now. Thanks guys, everyone is so unique and I leave each blog with something new!

TGIF!!! Enjoy guys!
xoxo Miss Enigma!!!