...My 2009 Report Card

Hello Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? I'm guessing we are all looking forward to the New Year and all that it holds for us. As the year draws to an end, some of us make resolutions while some don't bother knowing fully well that the chances of seeing that resolution to the end are slim. I personally do make resolutions, but prefer to call them goals. These goals help to keep me focused and working towards a particular target, but we all know that life has a way of surprising one with twists and turns, that may sometimes require said goals to be re-evaluated. Nevertheless, before setting goals for the upcoming year, let me review 2009. "TAKING STOCK OF 2009":

MY FAITH

My walk with God this year can best be described as me climbing a hill, and then coming back down the hill and just hanging mid-point;neither going down nor up.*sigh* I started the year being fully aware of the fact that I could no longer depend on the prayers of my Mom, family members and loved ones to get me thru...that I could no longer jst go through the motion, I needed to have a relationship with my creator, with God my Father. Everything started off well, as much as possible I made sure to attend service, and be in His presence. And slowly I began to crave Him more and more, to include Him and consult Him in every aspect of my life and regardless of whether things turned out the way I wanted or not, I was glad to have Him in my life. Long story short, few months ago I started coming down the hill, I stopped climbing. I haven't exactly hit rock bottom, but for some reason I'm not making as good an effort as I can to start climbing again. So lately, I've been praying for motivation and for the good Lord to order my steps, and help me find my way back home where I belong.

SCHOOL/CAREER

My grades came in yesterday, and based on the outcome I honestly believe that it is God's way of telling me that even though I feel like I'm so faraway from Him, He's never faraway from me, and will never leave me nor forsake me. Initially I feared that my grades were gonna be thumbs down, but they ended up being good, my best semester GPA till date, and my overall GPA saw a raise as well. Its not by my power or by my might, but by God's overwhelming grace. Career wise, I'm now certain that Advertising is what I want to do, and am gonna try to be the best I can be.

FAMILY

Hmmm...this year has been a real challenging one for my family. An interesting, but challenging event definitely rocked our foundation, and still is but we are all picking up the pieces and moving on. Because life never pauses, it keeps going and we do too. Regardless, the members of my family that I love n' care about are doing great. Sis n' her hubby n' their kids r fine, Aunties n' Uncles are all doing well...and My Mom is being strong, and doing just fine. Me? Well, I hve to be strong for her and the others so I'm fine. Thank God no deaths this year...we are immensely grateful.

RELATIONSHIP
When people ask about the status of my relationship, I dnt reply with "Oh I'm in love" I simply say "I am HAPPY". Because being happy helps to keep the love alive, and makes me look forward to each day, and spending more time with him. If u read A Kiss to Remember then you know that our story is an interesting one.(I know I never finished it, myt do it in 2010...lol) A year ago I had to mke a tough decision, but am glad I did. No head-aches over irrelevant issues, no tears...we had our little tiffs, but we got through them. My Luv has been a good man to me, and I am happy to have him in my life.

FRIENDSHIPS

My girls!!! My beloved duo...Miss B and Miss N...the two people who complete my sentences, and pick-up my thoughts before I even put them down...lol. We know and understand each other so well its hilaxx. We know to back-off during each others diva moments, to give out honest opinions without sugar-coating, to support each other on bad days n' gud days. When I go into MIA mode and I dnt call or return their calls for days they dnt get mad dey understand. Everyone is gud for smething...lol...Miss B for moral advice, Miss N is a girls girl, issues wiv guys n' dating and I am gud for relationship/what do I do advice...lol. When am in their company, am soooo me...loud, quiet, hyper, constantly dancing and laughing. Cnt wait to see y'all...luff uuu.

FINANCES

Thank God for a steady source of income...my job. I didn't save as much as I could have this year at all. I just hope when I start interning without pay, I dnt suffer for it. There was always something to do or help someone take care off. As for my personal spending habits, it was pretty much under control and I was doing ok. But after Christmas shopping, and contributing towards my 9ja ticket, I have a CC bill to tke cre off when I return. I hope I dnt get fired anytime soon o, if not hmmm...lol. (I can see Scribbles smiling in a corner or on twitterville...lol.) But, once that is cleared up I hope to do better @ saving up in 2010.

BAD HABITS

Two things that I would love to work on in 2010 are my eleventh hour approach to things, and my anger. I find it so hard to get things done ahead of time, I prefer to be right on time. I try to get a paper done early and I find it so hard, but when the dead-line is close I have this adrenaline rush that propels me to get it done...why? i dnt knw. And then there's my anger. I dnt lash out or get verbal...I jst huff n' puff, keep a straight angry face, and then keep quiet or reply qstns with one word snippy answers...lol. The problem is snapping out of that mood; cos after being mad for a while even when I'm no longer mad, it takes a while to snap out of it..lol...weird I knw but dts me. So yeah, those are habits I'd def luv to kick in 2010. :) Also, I am going to work on keeping in touch; I suck at it.

All in all, I honestly cannot say I had a bad year becos I did not. Challenging? Yes. I grew alot as an individual, and I have to say Blogsville helped in my growth. I say so because I had to opportunity to experience life from a different perspective through your words and your stories. This year, I learned to love and accept myself flaws and all becos that's what makes me, ME. I learned that being in love doesn't feel like someone is sucking the life out of you, and that in as much as relationships require work, it requires TEAM-WORK and not a one-sided effort, learned to try new stuff like red-lipstick thanks to Zena's Sprawlings...and a whole bunch of other stuff (will do a post later jo).

I am grateful to God for His blessings, and guidance all through the year. And I pray for that 2010 will be a year of greater testimonies in all our lives. See you in 2010 my dear famille, hopefully if My Luv lets me out of his sight for a few mins, I'll update you guys on my trip, but if he doesn't...then see y'all in Feb. Muahz!!! Muahz!!! Muahz!!!

PS: For those in 9ja send me an e-mail if u wanna hook-up.

Talk to you soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!

Not Another Lonely Christmas

Hello Blogsville,

MERRY CHRISTMAS to each and everyone of you!!!
I hope everyone had a great celebration, and day filled with family, friends, love and joy...the things that matter most...and also remembered to recognize the reason for the season. That being said,

It's about 11.30pm here, and as the day comes to an end, my prayer is that I do not want to spend another Christmas like this again. I spent the whole day in bed hitting refresh on FB, Twitter, Blogger, Google...and just wallowing in total loneliness. My Mom was @ work, so I was all by myself...my girlies are in 9ja (I get to see them in a week). I made the usual call rounds to the fam in Naij, and just hearing the joy and excitement in their voices was heart-warming, and heart-wrenching at the same time. The joys of just being together, slaving in the kitchen to prep the meals, greedily gobbling the food down to the detriment of our poor stomachs, and then dreading the clean-up at the end of it all...I miss it.

As the days draw closer to my Naij trip, my brain/mind is going into vacation mode. It's like I can smell the BO filled air that welcomes you at the airport, can feel the humidity warm my cheeks and make my amering rose colored blush, blush. My taste buds are watering in anticipation of the variety of delicacies that await their arrival, my feet can't wait to ditch the Uggs n' boots for flip-flops n' sandals. Then there is my family, my 10month old nephew who is chasing his older brother, and My Luv...*sigh*

On a side note, can someone please tell me why this lousy 23yr old Nigerian dude decided that trying to bomb a plane was a brilliant idea? As if it wasn't bad enuff with the whole online-scams, corruption, poverty et all stigma that we are known for...now we have terrorism. I mean, al-Qaida and Nigeria in the same sentence is not a good look at all. I am proud to be Nigerian, and I'll never deny my country, but I have to admit that this breaks my heart. And I say so because of those of us who struggle everyday to rise above- rise above being black, being African, being female, being a black male. The already tough Visa process, just got tougher too! *sigh* I cringe when I think of people now talking about Nigeria and terrorism in the same sentence, or looking at me with side-eye when I say I'm Nigerian. Now in addition to rising above, we have to prove that being Nigerian doesn't mke us terrorists.

Aiight guys, time to get my lonely behind to bed, gotta be @ work by 9.30am.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Uber Excited & Grateful!!!

Hello Blogsville,
How's everyone doing??? How YOU doing? What has everyone been up to? Rounding up the semester? Christmas shopping? Traveling to spend christmas with loved ones? Working? Decorating the house? Well all the best to all of you, in whatever it is u're doing. I hear its Scribbles b'day 2morrow...Happy B'day Scribbs...u don dey old o...lol.

So my Fall 2009 semester ended on Wednesday, and boy am I happy its all over. Am grateful to God for seeing me through; and grateful for the people who in one way or another helped me get through the semester.
- To my Mom who took her day-off on thursdays, or came home early on thursdays so I could drive to school for my 6.30-9pm class instead of freezing my butt off @ the bus-stop or train station...I love you more than words can express.
- To Zena's Sprawlings for being my wake-up alarm :), putting up with my random acts of madness, spontaneous dancing in class/public, working on assgts and portfolios with me, shopping with me, getting me to wear n' luv red lipstick and being a good listener....I appreciate u dear.
- To the Boyfie for being there when family issues got overwhelming...for being genuinely interested in everything that concerns me, and loving me just as I am. U're the best Babie!!!
- To my Blog fam for all the prayers n' good-luck msgs during finals, and rough times...mwah mwah mwah, y'all are freakintastic!!!!

Now my focus is on NAIJA 2010!!!! I'm going home in Jan, and unlike last yr when I spent 2wks, am gonna be there for 4weeks. Woohoo!!! I'm soooo over the moon guys. I get to see my nephew who is now trying to walk, spend time with family, friends and most exciting of all My Luv. *sigh* I can't even begin to explain how excited I am, jst trying to compose myself.

I've been in this Amerix for 3yrs, but 9ja will forever be home. Gawd!!! The food, the people, the love...the fun-times. I'm so excited. The only thing is that unlike previous trips your girl is on a budget, so I'm not buying people stuff...and I feel guilty...I dnt knw why. I've been making my list, checking it off, crossing names out, adding names...I don tire. Times are hard o jare. Besides Momsie jst went and got mad stuff, so abeg mke nobody look my side. Am just gonna get my Grandma and the lil'kids pressies...all the adults should understand biko...I'm still a student, not a working graduate.

Aight guys, I have to go get read for work. Its freezing cold guys, this winter ain't playing games chei!

Have a fabulous weekend guys...and remember the reason for the season.

Talk to you guys soon,

oxo,
Miss Enigma!!!

I have a question...???

Hello Blogsville,

How una dey? It's the weekend y'all!!! But unfortunately I'm gonna spend my weekend studying for my last final which is on Wednesday. God dey. Hpe everyone is gonna be getting some well deserved rest.

I met a blogger on twitter :),hehehe!

So my ppl, I have a question for everyone. When do you start sleeping over @ the boyfie's without being hassled by the parents or older folks? Or is it a no-no until u've moved out and have ur own place? What if u're in a/an LDR and only get to see him for the few weeks that u're home visiting, is it wrong to want to spend a night or two over? Wanna hear everyone's POV on this matter. Cos U know how Naija parents and family members could be uptight and hold on to their children almost forgetting that they'll grow up and leave the house.

I was @ the mall bout two weeks ago with a friend, and guess what I heard playing in a store? Shank's Julie!!!!!! Initially when I heard the beat I was like, it can't be...so I walked into the store (Top Gun) and asked the white chic if there was an African working there, she said no. I was like ahn ahn, so ermm pls where did u get this song from? She said she heard it @ a club, loved it and so asked the DJ for it. The babe knew the lyrics to the damn song...I was shocked, and just walked away smiling :).

Just watched Nightline on ABC and they featured how African Food Stores in yankee are selling exotic meat/ bushmeat; and that these items are a threat to the society becos of the diseases that could be spread through the meat. No wonder they've been searching ppl seriously at the airport, and seizing stuff. That's how they seized my indomie and kilishi 2months ago....mschewww.

Aiight guys, gotta go to bed cos I have to be @ work in the morning.
Y'all have a great weekend...and bring the juicy details back to blogsville

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

I'm TORN....!!!

Hello Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? Hope great! I am doing gud @ this end. Today is the last day of classes for me, and my last final is next week wednesday, so I'm glad the semester is coming to an end. I can now begin to look forward to happy days, fun, and more fun.

Ok guys, I just heard and read an article about the whole "Beyonce selling her soul to the devil" issue, and I don't even know what to say guys. I've been a Beyonce fan for a long-time now,(I knw, I knw there alot of you who cnt stand her and that's ok). I've always said I want to attend one of her concerts becos I know I'd be getting my monies worth, becos the girl performs and delivers. But after reading the article, I have to say I'm totally torn.

I mean, I don't know if to believe and what to believe. I always say there's no smoke without fire...therefore there must be some iota of truth somewhere in this fire. Out of all the symbolic connections that the articles made or pointed out, the one that stood out for me, was the picture of her with the motorcycle head-light, and the goat-head symbol. (Look it up here http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=604) As in, I dnt even know what to say. How does goat-head connect to the whole Sasha Fierce theme? That one just had me giving my dear B the side eye/questioning eye.

What is this world turning into, the end-times are really here. And I spooks me at times, just to think about it. Times when it'll be so hard to decipher good from evil, becos its not the everyday evil that we are accustomed to, its more than that. Warfares that we can't see being fought in the spiritual realm. *sigh* Aiight enuff of this, I ddn't mean to go all spiritual on y'all. Its jst that everytime I listen to all her songs there's gonna be that lil' voice in my head wondering, questioning and trying to make sense of it all.

On a lighter note, my very good friend just surprised her boyfie in 9ja. Told him she wasn't coming home for Christmas and all dat, only to just show up! It was so hard for all of us, trying to keep everything under wraps. But it was all worth it in the end. I love surprises, good surprises o, not bad ones...lol. Some ppl are not too fond of surprises...so which do you prefer? To be surprised or not?, that my darlings is the question.

I have two group presentations today guys, wish me luck!

PS: Big shout out to Juiceegal for always reading my blog!!! And for coming back...u cnt go anywhere again, u are now officially on Blogsville arrest!

Have a fabulous day guys, and be the best @ whatever it is u do today!

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Quit catching feelings!!!

Hello Blogsville,

How's everybody doing? Hope y'all had a peaceful and rest-filled weekend. And to my good friend who lost a loved one...I wish I had the words to soothe your hurt, and ease your pain, but I do not. I wanna say take heart, but someone once said how many hearts can you take...
We take solace in the fact that He who knows all and sees all, knows best. So I pray that in this time of pain, hurt n' mourning when you feel like you can't go on...that He will lift you and your family up, and carry you.IJN, Amen. Luff u!!!

My people wats gud? Everytime I want to update, I keep putting it off till when "I can type a coherent post", well let's face it if I wait for that time, I myt as well never post.

So I was Twitter, and I noticed a lot of you were on there, like a mini blogsville. And now I knw hw ppl always get first on blogs...lol...its cos they get the alerts on twitter from the blogger...dats ojoro oo! Neways, I dnt knw wat it is, but the addiction bug has refused to bite me. I follow ppl and I find some tweets interesting, but for me to tweet na wahala, I only have 54 tweets. Well, make we dey look.

This recession and holiday period is causing trouble o; there's been an increase in robberies, and fraud lately...and so am just begging God to spare me o. Cos the amount of fraudulent checks that we've been seeing on the job have just been on the rise. A branch close to mine got robbed few weeks ago. Dunno wat I'll do if I had a gun pointed at me, pray never to experience such.

On a lighter note, mke una cme hear story. So few days ago we discovered that a customer was making a check deposit for 55bucks, but the teller who filled the deposit slip mistakenly filled it for 5,500. This happened a while back, but it was jst caught. So, the man comes in and the Manager asks what he did with the money. Dude says, he ddn't knw about it, that his wife saw the money and was mad that he had such an amount and lied to her; so she withdrew half of it. Lol...na lie o. Dem don spend the money finish...now its time to pay it back. So people if you mistakenly had an excess deposited in ur acct. what would you do?

I saw Law Abiding Citizen during the week, and I loved it. Really, good movie. Jamie Foxx has done well for himself by having very marketable skills. When the music scene isn't as hot, he has his acting to fall back on, and he's pretty good. Nice job J!

Why don't some boys get the message sometimes. If a chic has said she's not interested, move on. If she was interested and just fronting u'll knw cos she'll give u the signs...but when there are no signs just good ol' platonic friendship responses then you shd stop catching feelings and get wiv d programme. Catching too much feelings after u've been told that it ain't gonna happen becomes irritating and annoying biko.

Aiight let me go and continue working on my class project.
Catch y'all later. Have a blessed and productive week ahead my darlings!!!

PS: Aside from F21, CRusse, Wet-seal, H&M, what other on-line/ off-line stores have nice items. Tops, skirts and dresses. Thanx my blogsville fashionistas.

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Family + Sex Addiction = Update

Hi Guys,
How's it going? Hope everyone is doing good...and looking forward to the Thanksgiving break; and our peeps in Naija are looking forward to the very long weekend. The numerous public holidays are part of the things I miss about home...any opportunity to not go to work and just chill.

So I was watching Oprah today, and the topic was Sex Addiction. One online source defines it as " a phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to control their sexual behavior", another source described it as " a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts". The term "sex addiction" is not unfamiliar to me, but the gravity and the intensity of the issue was. I mean, its a serious problem for people who suffer from this addiction. As in just like drug addicts go into withdrawal, and crave their high, sex addicts feel the same. Watching the participants of Dr. Drew's Rehab, go thru their withdrawal moments, was an eye-opener.

Anyhoo, moving on...nothing overly exciting has been happening at my end. I'm just trying to keep up with school, and not get overwhelmed. I've applied for my vacation in Jan. pls u guys shd pray that they approve it oo, cos I wanna go home so bad. I need to go and re-fuel and get some proper TLC from My Luv. To be honest, I think seeing him and my lil' nephews are gonna be the best part of the trip. If not for them, there really is nothing else to look forward to. My family is going through a trying time right now, and everyone is suffering from the ripple effects of one person's selfish actions. *sigh* I'm doing okay (I think), but my Mom and my Sis are still trying to recover. I have to be strong for everyone, especially my Mom becos the past forty years of her life have just been turned upside down.

Normally, I'd talk about it with My Luv, but I dnt want to becos then I might stir up emotions that I dnt want to, and also becos wats been done is done.

We will pull through and move past it all, but its gonna take time, prayers and God's grace.

On a lighter note, I took my weave out over the weekend, and got a perm. So to school the next day, I pulled my hair back in a bun or shuku style...and this white dude in my class goes "Oh wow you cut your hair?" lol...oyinbo people are so clueless when it cmes to these things sha.

Aiight people...I know I've been off and on here, but I still check up on u guys and read ur blogs, I just dnt knw how to put together my thots...or maybe my thots right now are just too heavy and complicated to share and burden u guys with. Bottomline is I haven't abandoned B'ville. Love y'all mucho!!! God bless.


Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Gist Unlimited: While I was away...

Hello Blogsville,

It seems like forever since I last put up a post! I can see that nobody milzed me, its all good.
How's everybody doing? Hope great! My life has been crazy these past few weeks, I cnt even begin to explain. The events that have occurred ehn, if I tell u guys, una go think say na 9ja home video, but God dey sha.

So, Momsie was in 9ja for a month on vacay but now she's back. I'm glad she's back, but that means I have to return her motor and return to my leggedz-benz/bus/train movement...*sigh* e go better. School has been a tad-bit overwhelming o! From mid-terms, to group projects, individual projects, search for internships, trying to attend networking events, sorting out classes for next semester...and then trying to stay above and in control of it all. Who talk say multi-tasking easy...omo e hard o! Speaking of which guess who was in my PR Writing class last week?...come on, u can do better than that. Ok, fine I'll tell you....General Colin Powell himself live and direct!!!! You think am lying? Fine, I'll put pics up my next post (too lazy to upload it frm my phone).

And then to have to keep explaining to family members that Advertising & PR is not a waste of time, and that I actually am enjoying the program. Its hard to shake-off that stereotypical view that my beloved 9ja folks have towards majors/degrees that dnt come with a title or are not as recognized like awon Drs, Engrs, Accountants and the likes. E don tire me. My Mom has suggested that I shd go home (9ja) for either Christmas or New-Years; the usual me would be excited and counting down the days, and looking 4ward to time with family and My Luv. But right now I dnt feel that way.

I'm thinking maybe I shd hold-off till next Christmas when I would have graduated (God willing) and maybe gotten a job cos then that would stop all the questions of...when are you graduating? why is it taking this long? What are you studying? Advertising ke? What can you do with that? Why didn't you read Medicine like your sister? Or Nursing like your Mom? Or kpata kpata Bus. Admin sef? Dnt you want to make money?... And the way they twist their nose and roll their eyes sef...worse pass the questioning. I dnt know o jare...they say God's time is the best, and His ways are not our ways; I try to hold on to that, but mehn they mke it hard sometimes. Well make we dey look...will let y'all know what I decide.

Its interesting how when you're growing up, as a kid you think your family is like the perfect picture. Mom and Dad are in love and happy, and as kids our needs are provided and we are shown so much love. And then as you get old enough to understand and notice certain things, the imperfections begin to become obvious. But still yet due to the fact that no one is perfect, we accept these imperfections, and make the best out of situations. In my case, the imperfections don pass be careful. It has turned a once supposedly tightly knit family (extended included) into what I dnt even know. You hear of marriages hitting the rocks and you think naaah, not this fam....cos we ride or die. Ride or die ko...lol. Like I said, the events can be written into a movie script or a book gan sef. Well, God dey.

People of blogsville, I still dey find internship o. If u here about any in the NYC area, let me know oo. In general sha, life is good. I honestly can't complain...becos na who dey alive dey hustle...and am alive. My Luv and I are doing well. He met Momsie while she was in 9ja, and has used his charm on her already...lol. I can be a handful, and still yet he takes it all calmly and handles my mood swings well (lol...except when I go MIA on him...sorry babie)...he's good to me...has a good head on his shoulders and continues to make me happy. I say thank you Lord, for indeed I am blessed.

Biko does anyone know the whereabouts of Kemberly??? This her under construction status don too tay o...hpe u're gud dear. And can someone pls tell ZENA to update ASAP!!! She has lots of stories to tell...trust me...u wanna hear the juicy details...no joke.

Aiight guys...I think I've made up enuff for the period I was MIA. Thanks for stopping by!
Love y'all bunches!!! Have a great day.

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Fear of 13

Hello Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? How YOU doing? Hope things are going well.

Sorry for my absence, life has been hectic. And, I've been trying to "put my house in order."

Had two mid-terms earlier this week, and lets just say the Lord is in control...cos the kind of questions that were on there, and the way they were phrased...well, like I said, He's in control.

Thank you to everyone for ur concern on my last post. Taking responsibility for one's actions is tad-bit hard. Especially, when you have no clue of what the final out come will be. It could either go well, and you get a chance to make it right or you don't and then you lose it all. Well, its not a good feeling sha, and the anxiety can drive one up the freaking wall...but the inner peace that comes when its all settled is so calming. (Hpe that made sense...if it ddn't, dnt sweat it!)

So I finally opened another blog for school; really wish I cld share it with you guys, but then that would mean my anonymous status will be going out the window! Not ready for that just yet...:(.

Help me out my dear blogsville residents, please who remembers the infamous Macmillian Reader? The one with Mr & Mrs Nwosu, and them cooking rice and chicken. And also the very popular Ali and Simbi characters. Simbi with her thread hair-do. We were reminiscing @ school the other day, and Zena said she had never heard of them...lol. Pls can someone tell her that Ali and Simbi were primary school celebrities mehn...lol.

Snow in October??? I'm finished!!! This is definitely gonna be a bone chilling winter this year, and I'm sooo not looking forward to it o! Dear, Lord. Seriously, u have no idea how much I dread winter. :(. Waiting for the bus in such bone piercing, blood freezing, toe-numbing conditions is not fun AT ALL! Just thinking about it, makes me wanna cry.

On a totally random note, in my attempt to try and learn new words (even though, I forget them within days) and increase my vocab to Oga Bagucci's grammar level I found this really long word, and thought it was interesting.

triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun:

Fear or a phobia concerning the number 13.

Aiight people, that's about it for now. Its time for me to go have some 'Sweet Dreams'
Have a great day guys!

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Fallen...

I want what I cannot have. I knew I cldn't have it, but I went ahead and found a substitute to pacify the want. And now I have woken up a bigger monster. Weak to resist, slave to my want. Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda. Can't take it back, can't rewind. Knew I shouldn't have, but went ahead all the same; a selfish decision. I take responsibility even though u're oblivious to the situation; I am haunted by it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Argghh!!!

Not a Fan of...

I'm not a fan of smoking. But most of all, I dnt like when a smoker lights up in d midst of people who aren't smoking, thereby forcing everyone within that area to inhale the smoke. Pls step aside and respect public space. It breaks my heart when I see parents smoking infront of their kids, especially babies and toddlers, who have no choice but to inhale the smoke into their tender lungs.

I'm not a fan of spitting on the floor. Normally in 9ja when people spit, they usually either cover it up with sand or do it out of eye-sight, like in the gutter or something (not all the time sha). But in this America, people seem to do it everywhere and anywhere. Was on the bus the other day, and some dude spat on the floor...I mean, for why na? Its disgusting enough to look at, but who knows what sort of air-borne disease is now floating freely in the air, especially in a confined space like a bus. *sigh* Lord help me.

I'm not a fan of exposed pant-lines or butt cracks. If a belt cnt hold ur jeans inplace or they are too tight, then wear another pair. Exposing ur butt-crack is NOT sexy or sexually inviting pls. If u decide to wear leggings pls make sure ur top, dress-shirt or waeva covers ur butt nicely, if u insist on wearing a top that doesn't, make sure check in the mirror that ur underwear isn't exposed; because of the light fabric used in making some leggings, even black underwear is sometimes still visible so double-check or ask someone else to check for you. Save urself the embarrassment of walking around town with ur goodies on display.

I'm not a fan of being FIERCE by force. Its great to wanna look good and divalicious to school, but you can't if you look like you're in pain wearing those 6inch heels. Instead of strutting your stuff in them heels, you end up walking like you're on hot coal and the expression on ur face is jst indescribable. There are other alternatives that still make you look fierce n' spare ur poor feet from going into a coma!

I'm not a fan of masking-up. Making-up yes, but masking-up no! Apply foundation in MODERATION! Make-up is supposed to help enhance beauty and not destroy or deface the already wonderful masterpiece that God has made. If there's no one present to help double-check your make-up, use your camera or your phone to take a quick picture to see where or what needs fine-tuning before you step out and chase people away from you.

Hello Blogsville,

How's everybody doing? Hope y'all are having a great week thus far? Mine has been ok, even though I caught a cold while in MD. I lost my voice and I sound horrible, that's when u manage to hear me; the other times u dnt even hear me at all...all u hear is something that sounds like a dying old woman. Oh well, it is well!

So for my PR Writing class, we have to create a blog! The purpose of the blog, is to tap into our creative writing juices and start sharing our work with the world, and also to share the challenges, struggles and successes we face as Advertising and PR majors. I just tire for my Prof. sha o, its hard enough to manage one blog, not to talk of two. I have no clue what am gonna be posting on that blog; whatever written assignment I do in class, I'll just upload it on there...I cnt fit shout. The wahala now sef is coming up with an interesting title for the blog...any suggestions will be highly welcome!!!

I'm home alone for the next 4weeks...Momsie is on vacay in 9ja.*sigh* I milz my Mommy...lol
The silence is a tad bit annoying jo...but I go survive.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

NY to MD for Indy Weekend!!!

Hello Blogsville,

Happy Belated Independence Day to all my Nigerians, and Nigerian supporters out there!
Hope y'all had a great Indy celebration. I did! My celebration itinerary was the reverse of Nice Anon's...lol. I left NY for MD @ 9pm Friday, and made it to the 9ja party @ Love (club in Baltimore) by about 1.30am. And then my girls and I went to Ibiza (another club) on Saturday, and then the beach @ Ocean City on Sunday. I had a great weekend! As usual, its always fun with the girls, and then I saw old friends from high-school, and made new friends. I also might have had a tad bit too much fun, but its under control...I hope. *fingers crossed*


My happy feet...:) It was a nice day!!!


So about the cologne buying issue in my last post, the thing is I think sometimes,(some of) my beloved people back in 9ja are a tad bit inconsiderate. I mean dnt get me wrong, its ok to ask someone overseas to help you get an item or two or three as the case may be, but I also believe it depends on a couple of factors. Like how close u r to this person, u r certain that he/she can afford to cover ur requests without adding another notch on their already tight belt, and also asking nicely rather than putting him/her in a tough spot of not being able to say no or yes. So yeah, someone who hasn't called me in a long while, and has no clue of how I dey survive for here, or whether dem don sack me for work o, calls me up and asks that I send a cologne with a scent that lasts long...I won't even lie; I was pissed!

Double pissed when I asked why his girlfriend who recently moved to Yankee and has a job cldn't get it, and he said (paraphrasing), how do I expect her to afford it? Since she just started working and all. Anyway, bottomline is that I think sometimes people just dnt get it. Living overseas doesn't mean that there is tree of wealth in your backyard. Having a job doesn't mean that one's bank account is robust. Pictures on FB dnt tell the full-story; they dnt show the bills that need to be paid by month's end or the other responsibilities that come with living abroad. They dnt know that a meaningful chunk of the already limited pay-check goes to freaking taxes!!! I cld go on, but...oh well.

So, I decided to get the bag in the bordeaux!!! Went into the store and looked @ the purple and the bordeaux, and the purple isn't as nice as it looked online. Already rocking it, and I love it...thanks guys!

Ermm...well that's about it for now, will update soon with a more coherent post soon. I'm just all over the place ryt now...or maybe am just lazy...lol. Love y'all to bits!

Have a great week ahead guys!!!

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Individual Opinions Needed Pls...

Hello Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? Hope y'all had a peaceful weekend, and were able to get some rest or TLC?

So it seems like everyone is having an affair with TWITTER, and cheating on Blogsville.That's why we don't see you all or read from you guys as much as we used to...all of una know unaselves, especially Scribbles that just campaigned for Mayor. See why its hard to trust politicians...tsk tsk! Pls y'all shd cme back, we milz u ooo!

Anyhoos, so I made my writing debut with my last post; please if u haven't read it, make a U-turn to "A Kiss to Remember", and tell me what you think. Dalu in advance. Mnwhyl, those that read it, una like gistttt chei! Leggy, Jhazmyn, and every1else...waiting for an update, am working on it, school just has me on my toes right now. Pls bear wiv me.

Ermm as for u Oga SugarKing, I dnt know why u thought I was a guy all this while o. Blogsville, mke una help me ask am o! My layout has PINK colors, my blog is titled "MISS ENIGMA'S JOURNAL", not mister...it cldn't get more feminine than that. I tire for u sha oo...lol...but well now u know.

So, Naija Independence is this week, and while there is still alot of work/progress to be made in our beloved country, those of us in the diaspora(and back in 9ja too am sure)will be celebrating or rather using this medium as an excuse to party it up Naija style. I normally stay in NY and attend a party here, but this year the girls and I are going to be in MD. Attending one of those Soso (So-So Selective abi wetin dem dey call them) organized parties. Now your dearly beloved has to find an outfit, and y'all know how 9ja events are. Outfit has to be on-point orelse...well una knw as e dey be sha. Hope I find something I like if not...its watever mehn!

So I need to ask u guys sumthng, n' get ur diff. opinions. Is it right for a guy to ask his friend's girl to buy him cologne? Take note that the chic is in yankee, a student working part-time, who has someone visiting 9ja soon. And this said friend has a gf who just moved to Yankee about 6months ago. Wat wld be ur response if u were her...? I need to know what y'all think b4 I talk...

Shopaholics, Fashionistas, and my dear ladies, help a sisteh out...can't decide which color to get this bag in!!! Bordeaux, Ink or Purple...help!!!
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=399639&CategoryID=42949

Luv the bag, cos its big, spacious for everyday and to carry when travelling for magazines, and all the itty bitty things we like to carry. So what do y'all think?

Off to get some school work done, and do something productive with my Sunday.
Have a blessed and beautiful week ahead guys!!!!
Luv y'all like a shoe-lover luvs her shoes!

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

A Kiss to Remember...

It was just another Sunday morning as she lay in bed barely awake. With her eyes still closed she reached across, felt around for the power button and found it with ease. This had become part of her morning ritual...checking all the check-ables (e-mails, Facebook, Blogger etc) before getting out of bed. Thank goodness for the "Hibernate" option, so she dsn't have to sign in to everything...just hit refresh and voila!

No important e-mails, all junk as usual. Off to FB to see who's got new pics up or man- drama/personal issues up as their status message...Hmmm new friend request? Probably some old high-school friend or the usual "can I get to know you better" people who never fail to murder the English language. Seconds later, she's sitting up wide awake and alert, with the laptop on her lap starring at the picture. "No way!, it can't be!" This has got to be some coincidence of some sort.

It just couldn't be! How? After all this while, she had never forgotten. She remembered it all like it was last- week. It was over before it even took off, but still yet unlike all the others, this one she remembered, and remembered well. Why? She didn't know why, but somehow she remembered; and as the memories began to flood her thoughts, something inside of her stirred, and awoke a warmth that made her toes curl, and her face light up with a smile...

It had been one of those early, registration days of freshman year, nothing productive had been done, so before heading home, herself and B'lola decided to stop at a friend's (Kem) off-campus hostel and say hi. It was there that they first laid eyes on each other. No, it wasn't a love at first sight moment, neither was it a wow-ing moment, but whatever it was, it was a moment neither one of them forgot. He gave her a nick-name instantly, they exchanged numbers and life went on.

She was a freshman, he was final year, with six years age difference. And with that year difference she knew nothing serious was going to happen, so she made up her mind not to lay an emotional foundation. Not to get attached. Enjoy his company, and keep it moving. But before she knew it, she began to like him...a lot! And his company was not the only thing she was enjoying, and liking a lot; his kisses were just as intriguing and addictive...they were like no other.

There was something about the way he went about it; the pace- never rushed, the intensity- just right, the rhythm- in sync, variety- he had it. She wanted it all, and boy! did she get it. Tender kiss on the lips for starters, then slowly she parted her lips for more, and liked what she got. Soft, but firm...his tongue...gently but confidently navigating every corner of her mouth, like he'd been there before. Damn! it felt so good and tasted even better...think warm, melted chocolate...caressing your tongue and making sweet...sweet love to it, yeah! It was that good.

Oh! how vivid and clear the memories were even after three years. The phone-calls, the giddy-butterfly feeling, his voice, his calm and laid-back demeanor, his laugh -deep, his humor, and the late night rendezvous. How could she forget that? Driving through campus and kissing as he drove...and then the nights at the car-park; driver's seat fully reclined, music playing, her 4'11 frame easily straddling him and... Well, let's just say thank goodness for tinted windows. What had happened? How did they go their seperate ways?

Oh yeah...she had disappeared into thin air, left the country without a word. There was no emotional attachment or foundation, but there were memories that she had carried with her all along. Now here he was three years down the road, sending her a Facebook friend request, and a message. Who would have thunk it? With a smile on her face and butterflies in her tummy, she hit 'Accept'. Now what? She'll have to wait and see... He's probably married, engaged or something, but hey why should she care, she was in a relationship and doing ok. This is just old friends re-uniting via Facebook, right?

Well, only time will tell...
*****************************************************************************************************************
Hello Blogsville,

How's everyone doing? Hope great! It's the start of another week, and the hustle continues. Work, school, projects, meetings, dead-lines, school-run, and so on. The Lord is our strength!

As usual, nothing hot and news-worthy happened @ this end, regular boring weekend. Thanks to everyone who read, and commented on my last post! I had a really great time answering the questions, even though ML believes he has the right answers to some of the questions...lol. Like the one that said describe urself in one word, his answer? COMPACT. Which honestly, is a pretty spot-on description of me.

Thanks again to Kemberly! I won a palette! My blog stalking has finally been rewarded. :). I was actually gonna invest in some MAC eye-shadow, but now I can pocket my money...who talk say free thing no good?Lol.

Hope you guys read the story above. I haven't written anything fiction or non-fiction in a really long-time. I used to love to write, but I dnt know what happened to me. *sigh* Make God no vex say I no use the talent when him give me o. I hope u guys enjoyed it; Is it real or did I make it up? Hmmm...lol...you decide. Looking forward to your ideas, and critiques!

Have a great day, and an AWESOMEY week ahead!!!

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

50th Post: You asked...I answered!!!

Hello Blogsville,

How are you all doing? Hope everyone had a great weekend? Nothing important happened at this end.

But finally after a long wait that seemed like forever (I know..I know am sorry!),I was finally able to answer all your questions this weekend. Wow! felt I was being grilled @ an interview, infact this one pass interview sef, but all in all I enjoyed answering ur questions. I hope u r satisfied with my answers, and biko read the post to the end.

I just want to say to every follower, reader, commenter, anonymous person that has stopped by, even the non-commenters, I appreciate each and everyone of you. It's been my great pleasure getting to know all of you, sharing in your lives, through your words and your stories...I am honored. Really, I am. Anyways, dnt wanna go all mushy on u guys, since am not going anywhere yet, there'll be enuff time to be mushy later...lol.

Read, enjoy, comment and hopefully come back soon...

What made you blog?
I've always loved to write, when I was about 10yrs old I wrote two children story books, and my Mom was going to have them published and all that, but life got in the way. In my teen years, I started keeping journals (My Dad keeps detailed journals too). So my love for writing coupled with me being introduced to blogspot thru friends posting their blog links on FB, made me blog.. It just feels good to know that someone out there took time out to read what I wrote...I appreciate it and the comments, alot!

Any Blogger crushes?
Lol...hmmm well I used to have a blog crush on Roc when I jst started blogging, but now I jst enjoy his posts.

What are you doing right now? If you weren't, what would you be doing?
I'm guessing u're referring to school ryt? Well, am majoring in Ad/PR and if I wasn't doing that, I'd probably be pursuing an Acting career. I've always wanted to be an actress, took two acting classes, aced them, but I keep second guessing myself and wondering what if it doesn't work out.
What's your perfect holiday?
I would love to go away to one of those beautiful islands, with ML, and just get away from the hustle and bustle of life. Waking up in his arms in a room that has a beautiful view of the ocean, *sigh* evening walks on the beach, moon-light dinners, talking about everything and nothing, non-stop loving making... That day shall come IJN...Amen...lol.

Where would you love your fiancee to propose to you?
Ermm...I honestly don't knw. But wherever it is, I dnt want a random proposal, or a very laid-back approach like "oh so what do u think about getting married?" or "let's get married" or “when do u think we shd go n’ see ur parents in regards to our next step?” ...pls some effort shd be made into making it very special cos that's one moment I'll never forget. I want roses, a heartwarming/moving speech, music, mood setting environment all of which would lead to fire-works after wards if u knw what I mean!

What would you do differently if you had another shot at it?
Right now, if I could do anything over, it'll be my Fall ’08 semester. I let certain emotions get the best of me, and I screwed up my grades. Normally, jst thinking/talking about it wld get me mad at myself and make me cry, but lately I've been able to forgive myself and look ahead instead of backwards. My motto: I can't change what happened yesterday, but every day is an opportunity for me to do better than I did yesterday.
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Umm...lol...I honestly dnt know, but it ain't much cos I really dnt go out much so my shoe collection is not as interesting. I was actually gonna count jst for your sake and out of curiosity too, but I can't see all my shoes at the moment (cos fall/winter shoes are in boxes). But all in all, I'd say about 35+ pairs, which really isn't much compared to real shoe lovers/addicts!

How many nice decorated books/journals do you own?
Back in Naija, I think there are about six of them, plus one I used to write poems in one; and here I have used up two journals, have three not used...In summary I'd say I own 15 journals/books.

Did you grow up in B-side?
For those who don't know, B-side means Benin-City, Edo state. Yes o, na for Benin na e I for grow, but I cme comot go secondary school for Lagos…lol
What's your major?
My major is Advertising and Public Relations (Ad/Pr), and I'm loving it!!! Haven't decided yet where my focus is going to be, but I think I might be leaning towards Advertising. PS: If anybody knows, anybody, who knows somebody here in New-York, who has connections with an Ad Agency or PR firm, I need an internship for coming Spring '10. Biko, make una hook a sisteh up....internships are KEY in this industry, and they are freaking competitive. Dalu!

As a young lady, do you think that you've figured yourself out? Like what are you passionate about, characteristics, your weakness; it is always said that we have to know who we are in order to be better. Do you think you've reached that point in your life?

I believe I pretty much have myself figured out to a large extent, and also within the past year I have come to love myself, and to realize that it is ok to do so. Because if I dnt, I won’t be able love others and receive in return. I’m generally passionate about life, love and God. That being said, I do have my weaknesses; I’m sometimes nt a patient person and then I let it get the best of me, but funny enuff, am mre patient with strangers than those close to me; I also procrastinate *sigh*, but am working on both of them! So in as much I know myself, I’m still a work in progress to be the best me that I can be.

What are you most proud about when you think of your life today? What have you achieved/done thus far that makes you hold your head high, that also pushes you to do more and achieve more?
To be honest, I dnt think I've done anything that's extraordinarily news-worthy, or of that sort. But I hope in my life time I do. I consider my achievements kind of personal at the moment; just being able to go through every day and handle the curve balls that life has thrown my way without losing my sense of self worth and dignity in the process, that I consider an achievement. And it is with that at the back of my mind every day that I walk around with my head held high. My Dad used (still does) to say that although he isn’t a wealthy man, he can walk with his head held high, go to bed guilt free because his name isn’t soiled by anything negative.
What inspires you?
I'm inspired by a lot of things. But first and foremost by one person whom I hold close to my heart, my Mom. She always sees the glass as half full, and believes anything is possible. Her positive energy and her constant hard-work, just propels me to want to go the extra mile in whatever it is I do, but most of all to believe in myself. I'm also inspired daily by the world around me, by the people who I come across, from their personal experiences; to their actions...it is sometimes the little things that speak volumes. Believe it or not, I'm inspired by blogsville...I can't even begin to explain.

Describe yourself in ONE word?
I've never been good at describing myself in a sentence, not to talk of in one word! I honestly prefer that people get to know me and then decide for themselves, and I love the different variations of answers I get from friends. I titled my blog Miss Enigma's Journal because that's the word that I think comes close....ENIGMA. Where do you see yourself in the nearest future?
In the near future, I see myself as a graduate, pursuing my Masters and holding down a full-time job at my dream company, Ogilvy and Mather.

Most embarrassing moment?

I tend to laugh things off easily so it’s hard for me to be totally embarrassed by things. But twice in a row, while waiting @ the bus-stop, I waved at a lady driving past, thinking she was my Boss. I’ve dne it twice now, the woman must think that am nuts!!! Lol…

What do you consider your strength?
Hmmm...I'd say my ability to adapt to situations, and make the best of rough times, and I think my Nigerian upbringing helped a lot. Also, my ability to work well under-pressure; but above all, the good Lord is my strength.
Most prized possession?
My pay-check never heavy reach when I go dey buy overly expensive things. I keep it quite reasonable for now with one or two necessary splurges; but I can't think of anything right now that if I lose, I'll be totally devastated about. They all can be replaced, laptop, phone, zune...so I'll say my journals because they hold memories cannot be replaced, and they are sort of like my life map; you read them and see my transition from a little girl to young woman.

Greatest accomplishment?
Like I said earlier, I dnt have anything that's award worthy or of that sort...but me as a person, I am my own greatest accomplishment. I am happy with the person I am, and am becoming. My greatest accomplishment is ME.
One thing you wish to do that you've never done?

I’ve never gone on a boat cruise…wld like to go on one.

I’ve never been to a major Tennis event…wld luv to go to one.

I knw u said one, but two of ‘em came to mind…lol

How did you and your boyfriend meet?
*blushes* Well, we met while I was in Uni. in Naija. I'm gonna save the details of everything, the ups and downs and the drama for a future post; just watch this space.:-)(PS: He said to write dat we met while he was helping me wiv my clay pot of water on my way back from the stream…lol…dnt ask, ML is jst random like dat, but I luv him lyk dat..lol) I want to hear all about your first love? Me I no cme even knw which one be my first love sef...lol. Well we were neighbors and family friends; saw each other grow up. It started off as a crush o, then in high-school the feelings evolved, and he was my first kiss too. But somewhere along the line when I entered Uni, I realized that what we had wasn't exactly defined and me I was tired of crushing, loving and waiting and not getting back as much as I was hoping for, so I just let go and moved on. We are still friends just hi, watsup, hows everything kind of friends.

How old are u?

Ahn ahn! bros age ain’t nothin’ but a number J

Would you have a one-night stand with someone from a party?

Dats a personal No-No in my own book. And one of the reasons y I’ve never gotten totally wasted; I wnt to be sure am sober enuff to say NO to any advances made, and able to get home in one piece. I no fit for had I known…or the one whr u’ll wake in the morning and wonder what da hell u slept with or made out with…lol

Definition of a Man?

I’ll define a man as one who is God-fearing, focused, knows how to have a good time, loving and romantic, respects and appreciates his woman and knows when/how to take charge. And he isn’t too proud to admit that he’s wrong.

Pls in addition to the above mke the man sabi speak English, and dey articulate; there’s no point having a man when shame go dey catch person to show for public…and a good sense of dressing and personal grooming is a must biko!

Where would you luv to visit more than anywhere in the world, and with who?

There are certain famous landmarks I’d like to visit in my lifetime, top two on my list right now are The Eiffel Tower in Paris, and the Taj Mahal in India; would luv to go with ML.

Celebrity crush and detail perfect date with him.

Omo mehn…I dnt knw who jo…lol. I cnt pick one. Whoever it is, whatever we do will be out of the spot-light; where I can see the real person behind the famous face, and have a real good laugh. Nothing overly romantic abeg, there’s no point catching feelings over wat will not be…lol.

Craziest thing you’ve ever done?

*scratches head*…sorry to disappoint u, but I cnt think of anything o!...lol. If I do I’ll let u know….promise!

What journal would totally define you from outside in? Upload a pic.
Let's see...I think my new journal would best describe me at the moment. A hard-cover for my tough-skin, a soft velvety fabric for my emotional, nurturing and softer side. 1/4 of it is solid black, and the other 3/4 has the design of flowers; The solid black could be for the days I have my mood swings, or when I go into withdrawal and jst dnt wanna talk to anyone, dnt feel like picking phone calls, I just want to be by myself, and sometimes when I am having a bad day or going through some stuff. And the lighter side represents my bubbly chatterbox self, very giggly, happy, constantly dancing and generally in a good mood/high spirits. I think it also represents me of late, stepping out of my comfort zone and trying out new things, and living life more. Inside, the pages are ruled...although I'm not perfect, just like the ruled pages, I have morals and values that guide my life. *Insert Picture*

Thanks for reading till the end...:) Muahz!!! Thanks to everyone who sent in a question(s)...

Rene, Bagguci, Chayoma, BSNC, Myne Whitman, Nice Anon, Ms. Dufa, Roc Naija, Andrea, David, Fabulo-la, Scribbles...thanks guys!!!

Talk to you guys soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!