...Miss Enigma's Journal...

Notre Anniversaire...

2012-02-14T19:00:00.000-05:00

Hello Me Darlings!

Happy Valentine's Day you, you and you! Just wanted to say quick thank you for stopping by, reading my posts, commenting, reaching out and thank you for the friendships that have grown from this blog. I appreciate you! *hugs*

Hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day, whether indifferent about the day or not, everyone deserves to have love in their lives...in whichever form. Friendships, Family, Loved ones etc. And we should all remember to not take these loves for granted; we are reminded of this everyday when lives are cut short, good loves are lost and opportunities don't come twice, so cherish each moment.

So yeah, like my title says, it's our anniversary...and before you get all giddy, no this anniversary has nothing to do with a man :). It's my Mom and I's anniversary. Today makes it six years since we moved here to the US. We landed @ JFK on Valentine's day. Times indeed does fly. Back then, six years seemed like an eternity away, and there were times when time did go by slowly, but for the most part it seems like 2-3yrs ago. Soooo much has happened between then and now, ups and downs, but in all, I believe its all part of God's perfect plan.

Looking forward to more of what He has planned for me and my family. His mercies have been over-flowing this year already. I'm grateful and humbled.

I went to see SafeHouse with Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds on Sunday, and I loved it! I'm a Denzel fan all day, everyday. Good movie y'all, go see it.

PS: Thank you E.

Have a wonderful day everyone. And reach out to a friend, family member or loved one today...make 'em smile, you'll smile too!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Closet View: Denim & Brown

2012-01-26T00:49:00.000-05:00

Happy Hump Day!

It's Wednesday (well in about 30mins, it's currently 11.35pm) and soon the weekend will be here! It's funny how I look forward to the weekend, like I actually have major plans; I wish. Thing is, when the weekend comes by, I become slightly depressed because I currently don't have any projects to occupy me or get me out of the house, I begin to fall into my depressed mood of "I wish I had my own place, and I wish I lived closer to the city, then I could do all the fun stuff young people do in NYC, and blah, blah, blah" you get the story. Anyways, I currently have put my plans of moving out on hold till maybe mid-year, if all things go well I should have my place, and a room-mate ;). Till then, when that bluesy feeling rears its head, I'll remind myself of the fact that I am currently saving about $1,200 every month that I continue to live with my Mom and pretty much do not pay any bills except the cellphone bill.

So like everybody else, I follow a bunch of Fashion bloggers, and just recently discovered a bunch of new fashion bloggers that I like. Let me just say I am not in the know when it comes to fashion details, like designers, their collections, history/background etc...what I enjoy about fashion blogs, is just seeing the day to day outfits that people put together. Fashion to me is all about personal style, and knowing what works for your body and personality. It should enhance, and generally make you feel good about yourself. Another thing I like about fashion blogs, is that it allows me live vicariously through these bloggers. There are certain pieces that I know (or think) would not look good on me even though I like them, and to get to see other people pull it off nicely, just makes me happy. Last but not least, fashion blogs allow me to blog shop (kinda like window shopping, lol), and sometimes actually shop and find deals.

This brings me to the main purpose of this post. Please be warned that I am NOT a fashion blogger, neither am I a photographer like my dear Lohita. That being said, I like to look good like every normal female out there :) and so I love to shop, and the other day, I bought a few things that I was soooo excited to find, and thought to share with you all.

I've been wanting a messenger type bag for a while now...and this one's just perfect. Fits my everyday bag essentials (tablet, notepad, phone charger, lipgloss etc) and I like how I can hook my work ID right on the side. There's something about sky blue denim shirt, it's very versatile...you can dress it up tucked into a skirt or dress down and wear it over skinny jeans, tuck it into wide leg jeans or over a pair of tights. I walk up and down a hill to catch the bus to work and on my way back, and I'm usually running after the bus in the mornings so I prefer to wear flats in order to prevent me from falling and maybe twisting my ankle...but these boots aren't so bad at all. Wore them to work the other day and my feet weren't in pain at all. I love my new finds.

Have a fabulous day everyone! And incase you haven't already, check out this video .

PS: I'm sure you can tell by now that brown is one of my fav colors :)

Hugs & Kisses,

Miss Enigma!

Video Virgin

2012-01-21T11:18:00.001-05:00

Hello Ladies (and Gents),

How's everyone's weekend been so far? Hope great! It's finally snowing in New York...Amen!

I've been doing good. Can't complain. I am alive, healthy and not lacking. Just grateful!

So there's this post on Bella Naija about whether your man is a 'Boo' or a 'Bobo'. If you haven't read it already, you can catch up here . I made this video on Thursday, thinking making a video would so much easier than having to type a post on this topic but alas, it has taken me 2days to reconfigure the video and upload it! *sigh* there has to be an easier way for such things biko.

Anyway, this is my first video post, and for the first time you guys get to see my face. If you recognize me, issorai...just don't shout my name. If you don't :) oh well. Have a great weekend everyone...and stay warm! :*

Hugs & Kisses,

Miss Enigma!

Do Better. Be Better.

2012-01-11T16:13:00.001-05:00

Happy Hump Day!

It's Wednesday and for some reason I keep thinking it's a Thursday. I guess I'm just ready for the weekend huh? Who isn't. I'm finally all jet-lagged out and back to normal routine...halleluyah. So last week, I did a review post on 2011, and my experiences, and I have to say again, that 2011 was good to me. God was, has been, and is still good to me!

Today, I'm going to just quickly blog about things I hope to work on and do better at this year. I guess you can call them resolutions if you like, but oh well, here it goes.

- Walk With God: Like I mentioned in my last post, this relationship needs to be mended...and much stronger than it currently is. One day at a time. Again, still taking recommendations for daily devotionals please :( y'all dnt wanna share?

- Keeping in Touch: For someone who has a degree in Communications lol I suck at keeping in touch with people (except when it comes to business/work related networking) and just calling to say hi and all of that stuff. Old friends from school too. I just wonder like what would I say to them, after the usual hi, hello and pleasantries...I don't feel comfortable sharing personal stuff just like that. So hopefully, I can work on this and try and reconnect/check up on one person every week. Also, with regards to immediate family, I need to call them more regularly. Jst called my Dad now...baby steps.

- Procrastinating: Hmmm...not gonna say I'm the Queen of procrastination, but! I have high level ranking in the world of procrastination, and that has to stop. :( I thrive on the adrenaline rush of close to last minute, and being just in time as opposed to early. I need to fix this! How do people fix this? I guess simply by "just doing it!", instead of saying "later." I'll keep y'all posted.

- Attitude of Patience & Positivity: Personality wise, these are the two major things I hope on improving on this year. Sometimes I lose my patience when I feel people are not moving at my pace, not maximizing their potential and then whining about their situation, and also, I want to try to be more positive than I already am. Sometimes, in trying to analyze situations realistically, I let the negative weigh me down. This year, I want to speak more positively...and profess positive and good things with my words and trust God enough to come through. U get me?

So yeah, that's pretty much it. Not much huh? But it ain't easy trust me. Lord grant me the strength, grace and determination to achieve all of this. Amen! I know we are only 11 days into the year already, but have you made progress on the changes you planned to make this year? They don't have to be resolutions...but 11 days in how would you say you've done so far? Drop me a comment :) and share a thing or two.

PS: I tweaked my layout a likkle bit. You like? I like! I like!

Have a great day, and hang in there Friday is around the corner!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma! :*

2011 in Review...

2012-01-08T09:34:00.000-05:00

Heyy there guys!!!

Happy New Year to each and everyone of you! So I've been itching to blog since I got back from Naij on the 2nd, but I haven't been able to decide what exactly to blog about. #FirstWorldProblems :). I'm torn between Taking Stock of 2011 or Naija Trip. Oh well, seeing as I can't share pictures of my Naija trip for anonymity sake so I guess I should just go ahead and do the former. So here we go:

Walk With God: This started off really good at the beginning of the year, but by mid year *sigh* things just derailed. The frustrating part of this was that I knew things weren't on track, I wanted to fix it and reconnect but something just wasn't clicking for me. Even when I prayed (the few times I did) I felt like there was a wall...and I couldn't get through to Him; and not feeling worthy of His attention didn't help either. But the humbling thing was I could see His presence in my life. This year, I really want to build a better relationship; so help me God. I'm currently looking for a good daily devotional with an downloadable android app, so I can read it on the go...please share if you have one. Thanks in advance.

Family: "I'm not lucky, I'm blessed!" That explains how I feel about my family. Thank God for surrounding me with so much love, support and laughter. And the smiles on everyone's face both young and old when I go home is just so heart-warming and overwhelming that I truly feel special and loved. Grateful for my Momma :) (even though I can't wait to move out, so that we can miss each other a little bit) and continue to pray that I can be half the woman she is, and make her proud.

JOB: After returning from a 5week vacation in Jan '11, Baba God gave me a job in March. And I couldn't be happier for the opportunity, the great team of people whom I work with, an amazing and accommodating manager and really reasonable pay. Just enough to take care of me and my needs right now. I look forward to career growth within the team and company, and so with each day I try to learn and soak up what I can so that I can make that advancement hopefully this year.

SIDE GIG: My PR side gig kind of sorta became official, and I am grateful for all the opportunities that came my way. But I'm such a second guesser and my own worst critic that I'm having cold feet with moving forward. I feel like in the Nigerian market people don't really understand what PR is. The other day an upcoming artiste approaches me and says "I hear you're really good, and you will help me take my career to the next level and make me big..." Hian! That's just unrealistic expectations to me, and I can't sign myself up for that. I can't force people to like you, or your music. What I do is simply help you work on your packaging - website, social media monitoring, press releases/ kits, photo-shoots, event appearances etc. But saying I should make you big, odikwa too much. Then there are people who love to consult with me to get my take on things, to help them put together concepts, and all of that but then don't give pay for these consultation services or even give credit for it. So these are the things that frustrate me and kind of make pull back on giving it my all. Aside from that I really love what I do, and would want to have something of my own and watch it grow.

I also got the opportunity to host a radio show :)! It's been a really great experience, and I've met lots of cool people through it. Might continue with it this year, time will tell.

FINANCES: Thank God for a steady pay-check o! I don't have the credit collectors calling my phone or trying to repo anything from me. But I wish I had saved up more...I'm not paying rent or any major bills cos I still live at home, so I should have set aside a lot more but I didn't. Where it all went sha me I don't really know. I shop but I'm that chic that looks for deals and sales @ F21, H&M and co. Major items I splurged on last year - a Macbook, Party bus for my birthday, two leather bags (D&B and DKNY), Tablet and the main money consumer went to dental expenses! I had an accident during my b'day weekend and fixing it cost me about two grand. And then my naija trip...ticket, shopping and pocket money *sigh* so I guess that's where it all went :) Looking forward to saving more this year :) Amen!

FRIENDSHIPS: I made a lot of new friends in 2011!!! :) People who I genuinely enjoy being around! No fakeness, no front, none of alla that! My core group of close friends still remain though...friends who without seeing my face can almost predict my every move, and just make me laugh so hard. Had a sleepover with my friend in Naija and it was just us but we spent the whole day at home just cracking each other up! Lawd have mercy...those moments are just priceless to me. I wish I had my own place so I can have people over...game nights, movie nights etc :( I'm tired of always being the one going over. I love to host people and make sure they have a good time! All in all, I am THANKFUL for the people I call friends, they are my second family!

SOCIAL LIFE: Well as you can tell from above, thanks to making new friends my social life last year wasn't a drought. Had a group vacation to the Hamptons, lots of partying, birthday outings, had a party for my b'day for the first time in years, karaoke nights, pole dancing classes, Rockette show with my Mom, getting drunk with my co-workers and my manager lol good times!!! Looking forward to doing more fun activities, going on a real vacation to a warm/beach place and just living :)

RELATIONSHIP: Hmmm...2011 was a roller-coaster year. From really good to a head-on crash. And then what I thought/hoped would blossom into something really good turned out to just be uncertain...and this really sucked cos I kinda really liked the dude, but being uncertain with where you stand with someone isn't my thing so I had to let go. But we're friends and there's no hard feelings at all. Where am I right now? Ask me this in a few months. Just one day at a time for now, no rush.

Ok me darlings, I guess that covers everything right? I am really grateful for 2011. Also forgot to mention that my Mom and I became citizens too :) Baba God was too much in 2011 abeg! And it can only get bigger and better in 2012 in Jesus name! There are a few things that I am seriously praying for this year, and trusting Him to please do for me. I'm going to speak positively about those things everyday until they happen. Hope everyone has had a great start to the year so far.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma! :*

Morning Ramblings

2011-12-05T01:44:00.000-05:00

Hi Guys,

Happy New Week to everyone! It's 1am and I'm still up doing what, I don't know.
I have so much to do/ get done before I leave for Naija in a few days. I feel a lil' bit overwhelmed...and I hope at the end of the day I enjoy this trip. Honestly, not sure what to expect. In a way I feel like something's missing...because normally there would be the excitement of going home to a special someone. But I'll make it work somehow...I have a way of making things work at the end of the day.

Every year, I tell myself I won't by things for people back home. Just one or two things for one or two people...and every year that plan never happens. *sigh* Dreading having to sign in and check my account right now...but its hard to go home and look at my younger nephews, cousins, grandma, aunties etc and say "Hi, I came home empty handed!" Guilt will gnaw at my insides. Plus, I know if the reverse were the case, I would like to receive to a thing or two from a family member who came from Yankee on hols. The smiles on their faces, the hugs from the little ones...and the prayers of the adults make it all worth it at the end of the day.

Speaking of prayers, I normally say the prayers of a Mother are powerful...and they are so irresistible to God. I thank God for my Mother's prayers, cos heaven knows if I had to depend on mine alone...e for hard. I started praying again lately (again, because I had been finding it difficult to do for a while) and I'm asking for wisdom and guidance from above. I need these two things to help me make the right decisions in my life. People find it funny when I say this, but I always add too that God should please smack me upside my head with what to do...because if He gives me signs or 'speaks' to me I might not see it or hear it, and I might just miss it. But yeah when you say your prayers, please take 10secs to plug me in too...:) Thanks.

*sigh* I love LOVE. I'm watching Grey's Anatomy re-runs, and this episode is when Meredith and Derek signed their marriage post it and Issey and O'Malley die. And basically the question for this episode is did you tell the people/person you love that you love them when you had the chance to, because it might all be gone tomorrow. *sigh* It's hard to do sometimes when the person you love doesn't love you back tho...but regardless we should say it and show it while we still can...tomorrow, the next minute is never guaranteed. I break down it tears when I hear stories of ppl who wake up, go out and for some stupid reason like a drunk driver, store robbery, stray bullet etc end up dead and never make it back home :( Lord protect us all!

2012 is around the corner and well...honestly, I'm not sure what to expect or plan for yet. 2011 went by so fast...I remember Jan 2011 like it was 3months ago.

Anyways, it's 1.40am and I should be in zzzz land. If anyone is going to be in Naija and wants to hang out or meet up, drop a message! It'll be nice to meet fellow bloggers. :)

Have an awesome kick-ass week everyone!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

My 1st...Black Friday

2011-11-23T23:22:00.000-05:00

Hello there me Darlings,

Hope everyone is enjoying the Thanksgiving break, and taking sometime to be thankful, get some rest and be with family and loved ones. My extended family here in the Amerix is all over the country so ermm there won't be any big thanksgiving family gathering. My Mom will be working, so I'll be home by meself. Not complaining, I'm used to it.

Since my Mom's working on Thursday, decided to take her to go see the Radio City Music Hall show on Friday when she's off. I've never really done Christmas-y things in NY, and I think NY is one of the best cities during Christmas 'cos the lights, themed store windows, and just the holiday spirit in general. Looking forward to the show. If you're in the area, I think it's something you should check-out. Link here >>> http://www.radiocitychristmas.com/newyork/index.html

I've never woken up to shop on black Friday. The only time I've been up for black Friday was when I used to work in retail, and even then I worked in the cash-office and not on the sales floor so I never really experienced the madness. Well this year, I'll be shopping or at least trying to *sigh*. I'm not going to camp out and join the stampede, but I'll be out early and hopefully I get what I'm looking for. What you ask? Two main things: A tablet and a camera. My camera got missing during my b'day celebration in July and I had my graduation pics on it that I hadn't uploaded :'( (priceless memories). And yeah, I want a tablet. I don't necessarily need one. I think. Trying to decide between the Blackberry Playbook, iPad, and Amazon Kindle Fire. I honestly don't like the size of the iPad...too big for me...if it was the size of the others I'd willingly splurge on it, but that size is not attractive to me at all :(

I wish I had my own place, this would be the best time to shop for things at great prices! TVs for as low as $500, sofas for $299, etc anyways till then.

I love having people around. I love having people I care about around me. Growing up I never really had lots of people my age around except @ school...so whenever I'm around good friends, I'm happy. And I had a happy moment this weekend @ a close friends house, a bunch of us were huddled on the bed, watching the not so great AMAs and laughing and talking, and in that very moment, I was happy. I wish I had more of those happy moments.

Cramps! Cramps! Cramps! *sigh* I honestly don't know if my mood is ever affected by the time of the month *shrug* I've never really monitored it to see if I have extra mood swings or all that PMSing behavior. On a normal day, my mood can be as unsteady as a yo-yo, and I can cry for a whole village. The other day I was watching Private Practice, and it was the episode where the doctors were carrying out an intervention for their drug addict co-worker/friend...let's just say I cried on behalf of all the characters.

Lol the other day I found out my cousin whom I remember carrying as baby, just got admission into Uni to study Mech Engineering and I burst into tears! I mean they were tears of joy, and gratitude to God for his achievements, but still if you saw me and didn't know why, you would think something went wrong lol I'm such a softie @ heart sha.

Speaking of the heart, why are matters of the heart so complicated? Why can't they just be 1+1 = 2? Why do feelings and emotions have to be so complicated? Regardless of how little they might be they are so powerful. Why is it that after you end a relationship the feelings and emotions don't come to an end? Why is it that when you like someone, these same feelings and emotions go up and down like a yo-yo? U tell yourself you won't/you shouldn't like this person, but then find yourself doing the opposite? Why is the dating process so complicated or is it just me? Should I be liking this person? Do I really like this person? Or am I just trying to fill a void? Is it too early to like a person...and all the many other complicated questions that exist. Ugh! abeg I'm tired of this roller coaster.

Few more weeks till I head home to Naij for the hols...lots of events and people to see and chill with in Lagos, but my family is Benin and Lord knows that city is dead. I wonder how my fam would feel if I spent Christmas in Lagos instead and then the other part of my time with them in Benin. I love my family, but to spend all that ticket money to just sit at home watching tv isn't what I had in mind.

Anyways, have a happy and thankful thanksgiving...take time to appreciate the people in your life.

Hugs and Kisses,

Miss Enigma!

Random. Honest. Me.

2011-10-18T17:49:00.000-04:00

Y'ello there me darlings,

How's everyone's week going so far? Hope great! It's funny how I can put together well organized post in my head and then when I get on here, I go blank; and stare at my screen for ages. Oh well, you will have to do with the disorganized ramblings of my thoughts.

I went for my pole dancing class only once :( I had to miss yesterday's class to prep for a pitch meeting with a major tv station (praying for a positive outcome in Jesus name). Neways I have one class left this Thursday and I am not missing it for anything. I enjoyed the first class. It was shocking to see regular everyday, working chics who have been taking the class and now have pro moves! I'm like dang it must feel real good to be able to work that pole, and also treat your man once in a while. But dang my right wrist and upper arm were hurting afterwards...but it was worth it. Learned a few moves, don't know when I'll put them to use though lol but I'll keep 'em in my bag of tricks for a rainy day. If you've never taken a class, you definitely should. It's not dirty or vulgar as some people might think. It's just exercise really.

Up next are my Latin/Salsa dance classes :) Woot woot!

I'm not the confrontational type. I just can't...especially with friends and people close to me. When some close to me upsets me, I just withdraw like a snail, into its shell. I give the person space, silent treatment and just avoid it. Why? Because I don't trust my tongue especially when I'm hurt or mad. I have the ability to say something that can be really, rude, hurtful and rather than say something have to apologize for it later. And take it from someone who can hold on to words, there are certain things (words) that hurt so much and even after an apology it still hurts. But yeah, I've been withdrawn for weeks now...work in progress.

#Random I just got this really nice chiffon, long sleeve top from F21. iLove! Been wanting one for a long time now. Wore it to a friend's b'day thing this weekend and everyone loved it too.

Excited and anxious for December...not sure how things are going to go but time will tell. God dey.

The other day my Mom and I are grocery shopping, and I'm teasing her about the huge tub of ice-cream she put in the cart...and she's like please allow me to pamper myself...I want to be pampered but since there's no one to pamper me, I'll pamper myself. *sigh* We laughed it off. But Lord how I wish I could change that for her. Even in old age, nobody wants to be lonely. But unfortunately, she's not one to date, and truth is even she wanted to she wouldn't know how to...where to start from. My Dad was here first and only boyfriend. Speaking of my Dad, it's been a minute since I called him...I should fix that this week.

As much as I like my personal space and privacy, I do not like being lonely either. I've been trying the whole be by myself and all thing for a few weeks, but there's nothing like companionship. And so I went back to spending time with someone who I kinda sorta shouldn't be spending time with, dnt judge me orelse I won't tell y'all stuff anymore lol. I just enjoy taking walks, going to see a movie, grabbing lunch...going alone ain't fun and my close friends are man'd up. I don't like being the third wheel *shrugs* It is well.

Speaking of movies, I saw Real Steel featuring Hugh Jackman two weekends ago, and iLoved it! Really good movie. If you haven't seen it, you def should. Robot and Kid = Cuteness! :)

In other news, it is true what they say about Dogs and Babies being chic magnets for guys! I was on the train this weekend and this dude and his GF got on the train, and the guy was holding this really cute, fit in one hand kinda dog and immediately everyone's attention was on him. Chics were gravitating towards him, smiling and petting the dog, asking questions and all and from there small talk. Meanwhile, the girlfriend was there just overlooked and forgotten lol.

Aiight, I think I've talked/written enough, let me stop before I bore you. Before I go let me jst say I wasn't happy with Tiwa Savage's Love Me (3x) video. Production, casting and all were on point but the story line was non existent and I felt there was so much material with the lyrics of the song to work with. *sigh* oh well.

Ok that's it for real! Have a great Tuesday evening and do things that make you happy, and allow you to sleep easy at night!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

"I Was Here..."

2011-10-06T17:23:00.000-04:00

Hallo there,

How's everyone doing? Hope your week has been great so far! It's Thursday already, and the weekend is around the corner! Time is flying!

RIP Steve Jobs. Yesterday the world lost a very, very innovative mind. I wasn't a religious follower of his work, life and achievements, but his impact on the world as we all know it today, is profound. It is everywhere. I am currently typing from a Mac. I've also never listened to his famous 2005 Stanford commencement speech, but I've read excerpts of it here and there. One of the many lines that I've read over and over again is this one;

You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

There are sooo many other really good and meaning quotes from his entire life. I'll share some as time goes on. I was listening to Beyonce's "I Was Here" earlier on today, and I think the song has the perfect lyrics for the way in which Steve Jobs led his live, and encouraged the rest of us to. May his soul rest in peace, and may the good Lord give his family the fortitude to bear the loss.

So moving on, remember how I said I needed to get my butt off of my couch and do stuff! Yeah, so I just remembered that I had bought some LivingSocial coupon for pole dancing classes in early Spring. :) And they are expiring this week! So I called up the place and out of courtesy they allowed me to still use them even after the expiration date. I have 4 classes scheduled over the next two weeks! Funny thing, I looked at the address and the studio is located 5mins from where an apartment I wanted to move into is. *sigh* I knew that apartment was 'the one'! If only I would find a room-mate!!!

In addition to the pole dancing classes, I also just got a coupon for unlimited Salsa/Latin dance classes for one month! It was only 30bucks! If you know me well, you wld know I love to dance! Sometimes I prefer dancing alone sef, cos then I dnt have to move according to someone elses rhythm or pace. It's the one thing that makes me happy. I've always wanted to take dance classes, hip-hop is next on the list! I'm so happy the studios are all close to my job so I can just walk in and take a 10min train too.

Part of the my reasons for letting go, of my pretty good relationship asides from the distance issue, was fear. Fear that I was giving all myself to something/someone and that I hadn't lived. I'll explain more another day, but for now I'm going to try and just live, love myself, and make an impact. So I'm going to start with this dance thing. And then I can check that off my list. :)

I've got to run now...It's 5.22pm and I need to go thread my eyebrows and grab diner or something with a friend who's visiting.

Have a blessed evening!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Shoegasms + Sunday Blues

2011-10-02T17:16:00.001-04:00

Happy Sunday to everyone.

I've been battling whether to blog or not. But there's some form of temporary relief I get from putting up a post. It's kind of like a letter in a bottle kind of moment. It's not directed at anyone, but just putting out there in the universe and letting it go wherever it may. Excuse me if this post comes off all disjointed and a tad bit unorganized but I could careless at the moment.

I haven't been to church in months. I was away from home most of the summer weekends, and now its fall and having to walk in the cold to and fro, just discourages me. Is it something I'm happy about? Def not. I think I need a new church too. My current church is the Salvation Army church (yeah, besides helping the needy, they do have a church. Lots of people don't know that) and its a great church structure for the most part. But this branch, doesn't have people my age. I kind of feel different, I don't know why. And its so so small a congregration that the Pastors know everyone individually. When I listen to praise songs I like to boogy down, but I can't cos everyone is gonna look at me like "What is wrong with her" *shy face* I want a church where I can dance for the Lord with other people, and not be singled out. Its just older folks at this church. *sigh* Am I wrong to want this? Or feel this way?

Fall is here. And I am not excited, neither am I a fan. Me and cold in any form are not friends. I love warmth. But it is what it is right? So I've got to deal with it. I can believe we are in October already! I still remember Jan 2011. Christmas is around the corner. I hope when I look back on this year, I'll be happy with how far I've come. Amen.

I cried today. And that's why I'm here blogging. Blogging is temporarily therapeutic. I start off, delete, start again delete. Asking how much is too much to write, to share. I worry about people using something I put on here to hurt me...then I shdn't put anything on here u might say; I guess I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I try as much as I can to not live my life based on other people's rules or expectations.

So yeah, I cried today. Can't remember the last time I cried...scratch that I just did lol. About a month ago and it was out of anger. Today's was just as a result of holding it in, holding it together and getting through. I guess my poor eyes, and heart couldn't hold anymore. They needed to pour out and make room. :)
It's funny the thing that triggers my breakdowns. My Sis called, and the conversation was mono-syllabic and just disconnected. And then she asks, "Are you okay?"...I mumbled "I'm fine," hung up ten seconds later and the water works were in full effect. The ugly cry.

And now as I type, the tears are streaming down. :) *sigh* MsUndercover. So what's the problem you ask? I'm honestly not sure I know...or maybe I do and can't really share. It's been about two months plus and I miss him. I miss the friendship the most. This is what happens when your boyfriend is also a bestfriend...you lose both. As much as I want to talk to him, I restrain myself from reaching out, because I don't want to send out the wrong message...and make him think that I want us back, because wanting us back will mean I am willing to commit to a long distance rship for the time being...and that I cannot promise. I do not have the strength and will power for that. And it will be selfish of me to reach out to fulfill my need for my bestfriend, when he's hurting for a relationship lost. So instead of dragging him on to this roller-coaster of emotions that I'm on, I leave him be.

I need new ~~friends~~ acquaintances in my life. People to do things with and help keep me busy, distracted and generally help get me out of this depressed mood. I don't like it. I need a distraction, and no not a male distraction, I haven't learned how to not get attached yet so until then no men for me. There are so many activities in this crazy NY, but my commute won't allow me partake :( . This is why I want to move so bad...Lord find me a room-mate please!

In other less depressing news, I went shopping yesterday. People eat when they are down, I shop. Plus I haven't gone shopping in weeksss! So I indulged heavily yesterday X_X. Don't judge me. Neways, the shoe-goddesses were on my side yesterday 'cos I don't know how else to explain these:

Halston from Bakers for $39.99!!!

Jessica Simpson from TJMaxx for $39.99!!!

For someone who doesn't go out often, wears jeans and a top to work Mon - Fri, and stays indoors most weekends, I should not be buying shoes lol. But c'mon at 40 bucks, these were a good deal! My other weakness, skirts! Especially the ones with pockets! I like them cos you can wear them in Summer, and also in Fall and Spring too with tights :) *sigh* The things that make my heart go pitter patter.

Aiight me darlings, see the tears have stopped flowing, for now...I pray it stays this way all through the week and through next weekend! Let me go and try and prepare for the week, and generally be productive. All this crying, and things I dnt like at allllllllll!!!!! Mba nu! But yeah, if you're ever in the NY area please, please holla...I need people who will motivate and drag me out from underneath this warm duvet and bed that I plant myself in Fri - Sun. It's NOT the way forward, and it's not me! I'm the girl who loves to have a good time, wants everyone to have a good time too! But above all, put me in your prayers...for strength from the Lord, and guidance.

Have a wonderful and blessed week everyone!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma :)

...Are You Happy?

2011-09-17T17:37:00.001-04:00

Hi Guys,

It's been a very very long minute.
Sorry my life got a bit chaotic, and just had to take some time off here.
Work is going okay...6months so far and it kinda feels longer than that. Bless God for everything.
My side gig is going good, baby-steps in the right direction hopefully. Was part of a big Naija event recently and I am grateful for the experience and the connections made. God go continue go dey make me bigger in Jesus name.

I was reading Neefemi's post about a friend asking her if she was happy...and that's a question I've been asking myself and everybody has been asking me in the past two months plus. And I still don't know what my answer is. What is happiness? How do you measure happiness? Is happiness a fleeting moment? Is it a conscious decision regardless of what's happening within and around you? How do you decide to be happy when somewhere within you there are questions of what-if, nagging at you and tugging at you?

So yeah, I don't know if I am happy, because I am not exactly sure what this happiness truly is. But there are moments during my day when I smile. When I'm drowning heavy in my PR work, keeping busy, surrounded by people, having a good time and in good company, I don't feel low, or sad. I laugh, I dance, I smile, I give hugs, air kisses and I can be described as bubbly. But then there are those moments, usually when it's just me, myself and I, when I'm having conversations in my head and playing back the tape of my life so far and daydreaming of what the future could possibly hold, I can't help but wonder and ask myself questions.

Did I make the right decision? They say it's usually toughest just before dawn. Did I give up just before dawn? Am I such a heartless, and selfish person for walking away when I was needed? *sigh* I'm not the most generous or kindest or a Mother Teresa kind of person, but I do the best I can to be there for people close to me and whom I love. And in times like this when I'm the one now causing someone and in a way myself pain and hurt, it sucks! It really does. But God knows I tried. I believe I did. And as much as I would like to hang in there, and be strong... I just don't have the strength to keep on. I feel drained.
If you watch Grey's Anatomy and remember when Meredith was drowning and refused to swim or save herself...and Derek kept asking her why? That's what this feels like.

I just can't will myself, my heart and my mind to hold on. I'm just there watching as it slips away and I just can't will myself to hold on. And before u say oh isn't it worth fighting for? It is. But I dnt have the strength. *sigh* I wonder if I'll regret letting a really good one go. Will I ever find one just as good or even better? They say its hard to find these days...but that if you get back on the scene, take ur time and pray u'll find a good one. Problem is I've never really been on the scene, so I feel like a fish out of water. Having to start all over, learn a new person all over, likes and dislikes, their past, present and dreams, to begin building all over *sigh*

I miss companionship
I miss conversations; deep and trivial
I miss jokes; new and repeated
I miss arguments; nah not really
I miss the endearing name calling
I miss the understanding that comes with time together
I miss feeling like part of a team
I miss knowing that I'm someone's woman
I miss my bestfriend; real bad

What I don't miss?

I don't miss having to wait 11months to be kissed, held and cuddled
I don't miss having to wait 11months before cooking and eating together
I don't miss coming home to loneliness and a cold bed and wishing
I don't miss the numbness I get from typing for hours on bbm
I don't miss not being able to make weekend plans even if it meant hopping on a plane to go visit him a few hrs away...

My point is distance sucks! It's not like ending the relationship means I get to do all these things automatically...no it doesn't. But at least I'm in not in pain of longing and wishing and hoping. Now I just know I dnt have it at all, than to have it and its out of reach. I miss him sometimes. But they say time heals. I just hope I didn't let "the one" go.

Let me go and eat and try and be productive for the remaining 6 hours of the day. I've been trying to immerse myself in work cos when I'm busy I don't have time to think or feel or second guess...but as for happiness, I don't really know what it means but from hour to hour, day to day I try to find a smile here, or a laugh there and just be. I've never really been single so this is new to me, I'm trying to enjoy it and find myself lol these are terms single ppl sometimes use to deceive themselves lol but its all good. It is well!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day #14: What I Wore To Work...

2011-08-19T00:43:00.000-04:00

Hi Guys,

Just a quick collage post for this blog challenge thing (yes I am still struggling, *sigh* so much is going on right now).

Anyways this is what I wore to work yesterday. I'm so happy that my industry does not require us to wear business casual attire...it's jeans and tops, skirts and summery dresses, and even flip flops sef.

Anyways gotta go, its past 1am and I need some zzzz :)

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day #13: My Statistics Are...

2011-08-12T17:25:00.001-04:00

Hi Me Darlings,

TGIF!!! Cheers to the weekend! I'll drink to that! So this is going to be the first weekend in a while that my butt is gonna be home! Usually on Fridays after work I head over to my friends place in Jersey to spend the weekend and go to work from there on Mon and Tues. We always have fun, chilling and just being with friends. Growing up I never really had friends coming over to my house to chill or spend sleepovers...my house was on the outskirts of town, kinda like in the not so developed part of town so the commute wasn't fun. I used to feel like a trapped princess, stuck in our white house with fence all around. We had dogs that used to scare ppl in the neighborhood so ppl were scared of even coming close lol story for another day.

Glad that you guys liked my 5 attractive men...yummy pieces of creation lol. So today's challenge is to write about "My Body and How Comfortable I am in it"

Petite. Compact. Tiny. Portable. Pocket-size...by now you get the picture. These words are words that have been/are used to describe me. I'm 5ft tall, my statistics are roughly 32-24-34...clothes wise, I wear size 0, 00, 1, 2, XXS, XS, S depending on the brand because some brands cut their sizes bigger than normal. Shoe size I'm a 6 1/2 -7 depending on whether they are pumps, sandals or flats etc. There are days when I love my body and my size and then there are days and times when I'm not a fan...but for the most part I'm pretty much happy with me body :)

Even though I was asleep when God was sharing height, I was def in the front lines when he was sharing boobs, so that kind of makes up. Not just becos boobs are attractive but becos it helps me to fill out clothes nicely...and so tops and dresses have nice fit...and I dnt look like a 15yr old. The ass region is not bad for my size but i prefer to call it a "sitting device" as opposed to a "booty" lol. Somedays my tummy dsnt cooperate and I wonder if I might be expecting, but most times it stays decent and dsnt protrude lol.

I'm not my body's biggest fan when I shop at times. This is because American sizes are not true to size. Because howelse can a dress say size 2 or Small and still look like I'm wearing Madea's dress? How? So whenever I see something that fits I jst buy it...because who knws when it'll come in handy. Also I dnt have a lot of store options: F21, H&M, Charlotte Russe, Strawberry, Zara and then chinko stores that are hit and miss...that's about it.

I also sometimes feel awkward when I'm in the midst of people who are way taller and bigger. I feel so tiny, but then once I get comfortable that feeling fades away.

Perks about my size are that people are willing to help for the most part...for example when I'm travelling and I get on the plane I jst stand in the middle of the aisle and look cute and helpless and some dude quickly helps me put my hand luggage in the over head compartment...well its either they help or the luggage go block road for everybody lol.
I also find it interesting when people underestimate me because of my size and then they , meet me, my personality and who I really am and they are like wow :) it makes me smile.

Then there's the vain part of me that loves the attention I get when I'm all dressed up and I walk into a place...and everyone notices me. I always tell myself if I was average height I'd blend in with everybody else...but with my size I don't. I have stretch marks on my butt and they don't faze me one bit, I love 'em lol I have one or two cellulite dimples and thats it, those dnt bother me either. I do wanna gain a bit more weight, I always say its good to give a guy something to hold lol x_x but no guy has complained yet. The guy that will make a negative comment will def not be getting beyond the friendship zone! #ThatIsAll

Anyways, like every other female there are days when I'm not crazy about my bod, but for the most part I love my body! I don't workout, but I dance for about 2-3hours :) I need tot ke cre of what I put in my body tho :( I eat junk food...I jst hope it dsnt catch up with me later on. My Mom is still hot and she's almost 60! Mama got a bootyyyy and a nice figure lol...so I pray I look like her when I'm older too.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day #12:

2011-08-11T21:59:00.000-04:00

Hi Guys,

How's everyone doing? Hope great! As I type this post, it's about 5.05pm and I'm rounding up for the day, so I decided to quickly put this up before my evening gets crazy with my side gig work and before you know it the day will be over.

So for today's challenge, I need to list 5 men I find attractive :) hehehe! Why only 5 though? lol...anyways so here are my 5 men. In no particular order and for quite obvious to the eye reasons, I find these men yummy and lip smacking hot!

- Josh Duhamel: Hubby to Black Eyed Peas Fergie, and one of the reasons why I love the movie series Transformers. There's this laidback, cool thing about him that makes him seem like you can jst chill in a no need for pretty dresses and makeup to impress him kinda way. Just a clean shirt, denim shorts and sme lip-gloss will be jst fine.

Jesse Williams: He plays Dr Avery on Grey's Anatomy...*le sigh* his EYES! #ThatIsAll

- Will Smith: I'm in love with the Smith family...GOOD GENES! May my children be fine, but yeah their father...hmmm. There's jst smething about a man that has great dress sense, is funny but at the same time has a great appreciation for life and u can see it with the way he has managed to keep his family including his ex-wife together...and drama free. I respect that and kudos to both Jada and the other woman.

- Denzel Washington: If I was wealthy enough, I'd pay money for my Mom to have a date with this man...she's in love with him. She dsnt knw names of a lot of celebrities but she knws his name! I have a soft spot for him too...dude seems to be aging gracefully too and still looking fresh. (This is an older pic tho)

- Patrick Dempsey: I've loved Dr McDreamy since the beginning of Grey's. Even though the show isn't as great as it used to be, I still watch it. I like what him and Meredith have...:) His eyes and his hair!!!! *sigh* He should get a hair endorsement deal, I wonder what his manager and publicist are waiting on.

...

...So there you have it guys! My top 5 most attractive men. :) Please Lord send a fine man my way so my children will be fine too oo.

Have a great night me darlings!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!!!

Day #11: Mon Famille est....

2011-08-09T17:24:00.000-04:00

Hi Guys,

Hope everyone is having a great day! So yeah in my last post I talked about finishing this 30 day challenge by hook or by crook! I'm gonna skip the Day 10 "First 10 Songs that Play On Your Music Player", because at the moment I kinda dnt have one/knw where it is, and I have a new laptop so no music on it except Beyonce's 4 album and Gidilounge radio :) I'll move on to Day 11 which is about "My Family"

My family...hmmm I honestly don't know where to start or what to say. So I'll jst make it brief. My family consists of My Dad, My Mom, My Older sis, Step bro and myself. Like every other family we had our ups and downs, highs and lows, but we've managed to weather the storm and hang in there...that was until about 2years ago when well things just kinda fell apart and everyone had had enough. Everyone is trying to heal and move on with their lives individually.

I miss my Dad and the good memories...he's not perfect but he's Daddy. I just wish he didn't make the choices and decisions that he did. I talk to him once in a while (It's his b'day today) and I visit him when I go to Naija, but ....things are not the same, things are not the same as before.

My extended family from my Mom's side is AMAZING! It's like a team where everyone works together for the good of everyone, making sure that everyone is okay and doing fine. LOVE and SUPPORT are the two words that would describe them the most. My Aunts are like my mother, aunties and friends all wrapped in one :) And my Uncles are good men, not perfect but good men all the same.

My Sisters kids (two boys) are my darlings! I love my nephews. They could be a pain in the tush, but still they are my babies! Can't wait for her to have a girl, it'll be a wrap! I go spoil her die! My Sis and I are close even though we used to knock heads a lot (she's 10yrs older lol so go figure) we might knock heads, but if u dare try to come against us or our Mom, then u'll see that we really are sisters. BBM has helped us chat mre and get to knw each other better.

My Mom is SUPERWOMAN in human flesh. If I can be half the woman she is, then I know for sure I'd be a great mother to my kids. Mummy mi toh bad gan!!! We fight o dnt get me wrong, but I love her with all that I am, I think we've been living together too long thats why we've been arguing lately...lol...I need to find my place so that we can both miss each other a little bit. I love my Mummy that's my Mummy :)

So there, you have it that's my family :)

I'm gonna try to keep up with this challenge cos I think the blogging/writing will be helpful/therapeutic for me even though like I've said before I can't be as candid as I wanna be because of people who know me, read this blog and are involved with the experiences that I wanna share.
Neways if you're reading this, I really do hope you're doing good.

Have a great day me darlings!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Have You Seen Him?

2011-08-03T23:00:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Darlings,

X_X Yes, yes I know I've been bad. I didn't make it through my blog challenge even those who started after me have finished! *sigh* story of my life! I'm actually really mad at myself because I was hoping for once I'd finish something I started. I'm thinking of still continuing just to prove the negative voice in my head wrong.

Neways, it's been a whirl-wind these past three weeks plus. I miss the days when I was a child and was free of making decisions that involved other people...when life was care-free and just pleasant. I respect bloggers who are open and candid about their lives, I wish i could do that. Part of the reason I stay anonymous is so I can be free to express myself, emotions and all, but still I can't. Why? Afterall, this is my blog you might ask. Well first off there's the feelings of other parties involved to be respectful of, then there's just the fear of being judged by readers. I knw we might say "ohh I dnt judge", but we all do unconsciously. We create this perception of a person based on the parts of themselves that they share with us, and sometimes we are wrong. Neways, my point is I dnt wanna be wrongly judged or misunderstood and I also dnt want people who haven't met me to have the wrong impression.

And so for the above reasons I can't really say and express myself the way I would want to. (I should just shut down the blog then, right? :) ) Life is like a classroom, we keep showing up to class everyday and learning something new, but we never graduate or stop learning until we take our las breath. Isn't it funny how when you need to make a decision and you reach out to ppl who you respect and love for their advice/2cents and they tell you "do what makes you happy" smh lol....if I knew what made me happy, I won't be coming to you for advice. And then some say A, some say B and at the end you're back at square one...lol...and even more confused than you were. *sigh*

"Do what makes you happy" I wish I had a looking glass that would allow me look into the future so I could tell what exactly would make me happy. But life doesn't work that way right? I know I know. So I'm gonna have to figure this one out the hard way (which some people think is the easy way, but trust me its not). I'm going to take it one day at a time, and just go with it. I have no rulebook, no map, no compass etc just one day at a time.
And yes! I know I need God to help me, and be my ultimate guide but here's the problem...we've not been on talking terms for a while! Yes, I know He's there waiting for me to reach out...but that's the problem I keep reaching out and falling off along the way. If I were God I'd be tired of myself, and I know He's not me but still *sigh*
I've tried reaching out lately, but something's not clicking. Like normally I would have a conversation with Him, like He was sitting next to me and just talk...but I've tried and I can't get past the first two sentences. Don't know what it is... It's either He's so mad at me that He's currently not listening (y'all know as merciful as He is He still gets angry sha), OR I've just drifted so far away that there's so much noise between me and Him that even though He's there I can't hear Him cos of the "noise", OR I haven't hit rock bottom enough yet; maybe I'm supposed to hit rock bottom so that my cry for help will be louder than it is now, OR maybe I haven't tried to reach out enough and I should just try harder *sigh* I'll keep trying!

Apartment hunting sucks a**!!! Especially in this freaking NYC! I need to find a room-mate and then apartment before the end of Fall because I don't want Winter to meet me on this my current work commute. My commute each way is about an hour 15mins, and I knw it'll be worse in the Winter with bus delays from the snow and all that BS. Please if you know if anyone in the NY area who is looking for a room-mate please let me know. No weirdos pls! I like to go out once in a while, like to hang out but I also love to have my own space and privacy so I know how to give people theirs. Things I can't stand are dirt and untidiness!!! Hair balls in the shower, dirty dishes in the sink for days, garbage not thrown out are a NO NO!

Neways, Let me stop before I bore you guys to death with my random ramblings. But I want to say thank you to two people; just when I think I'm doing a good job of putting on a smiley face when infact I'm down and out...they read between the lines and the smileys... so Thank YOU to my booski Lohi and my dear Neefemi!!! I appreciate the both of you!!!

Have an awesome day!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day #9: Education is NOT Important...

2011-07-16T17:45:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Darlings...

How's everyone doing? Hope great! Hope you all are enjoying your weekend...chilling, bbqing and all. My weekend has been chilled so far. Kicked of my morning by tuning in to the Verastic show, then got out of bed at about 1pm, ate breakfast/lunch, and ermm yeah that's all I've done today. Heading out to a friend's BBQ later this evening, and maybe we might all head out to a club or lounge afterwards. But at the moment, I'm not really gingered or excited about heading out.

So today's post challenge is How Important I think Education Is...
And my response to this post's title is yeah right! Of course education is important, and very important in my opinion. Yes, yes, I know Bill Gates and the likes have been lucky to make fortunes and build empires without finishing college and all that, but please how many people make it like that? Probably less than 1% of the population.

I believe a well rounded educational background provides an individual with the basic/foundational tools to make something of themselves in this world. If you decide after college that a 9 - 5 isn't your thing, and you would rather branch out and open your own business or pursue a diff career path then that's great! But, at least have that degree so that if things don't go well with that other career path, you have something to fall back on.

Now take note that a formal education with a certificate from an institution isn't the only form of education in this life! Your day to day experience is an education in itself, and if you are just going through life without taking notes...then that's your loss. Also, whether you have a degree or not its your personal responsibility to continue to educate yourself via other mediums such as reading up on industry publications, other literature, listening to educative shows, traveling to acquire new experiences, interacting with people from diff walks of life, and generally trying out new things etc

Educations is important for both sexes! It empowers us women and provides us with a multitude of career options. And as for the men it gives them the means to provide for themselves and their families. In other words, it gives helps them to not become a weissstt to the society and to their loved ones. But not having an education is NOT an excuse to become a weissst either! I can't stand these people in America who can't even finish high school...talking about its too hard! Lol, oya now come to Africa and go to high school and give me feedback, mschew! It's the system that provides welfare and all sorts of living assistance and aid that gives them the audacity to be spitting out such nonsense! Get a freaking education and better your life! That is all!

Aiight me darlings. I'm off to try and have a good time. I made a decision that I think I might be regretting, not really sure. :( I love you!

Have a blessed weekend y'all!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!!!

Day #8: What Did I Eat Today

2011-07-15T00:30:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Darlings,

How's your day going? Hope great! So yes, yes, I haven't been regular with this challenge of a thing but I ain't quitting! I'll continue to hang in there. I made a very hard decision today, and I honestly don't even know if I made the right decision, but as they say time will tell. But I just felt/feel like I didn't have more to give and maybe, just maybe I might find happiness and fulfillment on this side if I gave it a shot. That's all I'm gonna say for now. Put me in your prayers please, cos I'm at that point where I feel like the child who only comes to God when my chips are down, and I'm too ashamed to even talk to him or try to connect. SO please intercede on my behalf.

Now let me tell you about what I ate yesterday July 14th...

- At about noon I had a Dannon Light & Fit strawberry yogurt.
- At about 3.20pm I took my lunch break (I always take lunch late when normal people take lunch at about 12-1) and I had a McDonald's Quarter Pounder, no pickles with a medium coke, no ice and Fries.
- Came home and then made orishi rishi spaghetti with sardines. Drank ribena.

So there you have it. And it is on this useless eating habit of mine that I intend on gaining weight...I must be a joker! I need to move in with Lohi so that she can be stuffing me up with all her goodies :)

Doesn't it just suck when you ask people for their opinion on something to help you with a decision, and everybody keeps saying "do what makes you happy" *sigh* What if neither option really makes you happy? At times like this I miss childhood when decisions were easy as ABC literally.

How do you define happiness? How do you measure/evaluate your happiness?

Neways, it's Friday! Thank you Lord! Another week has come and gone. Have a great Friday and weekend ahead y'all.

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day #7: My 5 Pet Peeves...Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-07-12T12:35:00.000-04:00

Hello Me Darlings!

Happy 24th to me :) Yes, yes I am that old! *sigh* but for the most part I feel younger. There are moments I feel 16, 21 etc :) I'm grateful for today! Somehow before the day I always feel like I'm not as excited about it, and then as it draws closer the excitement builds. Even during the years when I didn't have a party or celebration I still find myself excited on my birthday!
I think my birthday is the coolest thing about me...cos of the date :) 07/07/87...as innn perfection toh bahd! The Lord took his time and created me :) So I'm special!

My phone's been going off since midnight! I knw sme ppl dnt dig the whole ppl changing their statuses for you and all, but I find it humbling and it makes me smile. To look at ur bbm updates and 3/4 of the pics are pics of me?! C'mon a girl's gotta feel special :)
I love presents but none so far there better be something in the mail!

Can't wait till tomorrow to kick off the fun weekend! I'm just excited to see how the whole party bus works out smh it's gonna be a mess!

Thankful to the Lord for howfar I've come this past 24years. Dang! :) Thank you for your GRACE!!! I owe all that I am to you Father, ALL that I am.

Now on to today's 30 Day challenge...7 Pet Peeves!

- SPITTING IN PUBLIC: I've blogged about this before; I don't understand why people have to spit and then deposit their nonsense in plain open sight. Why can't you do it in a paper towel and put it in the garbage! Why do I have to be playing hop-scotch when I walk because I'm tryna avoid stepping on phlegm, sputum etc Like I'm in a freaking land-mine dodging bombs! It's all sorts of gross!!!

- WHITE UNDERWEAR: Except you're blind, I think every normal person knows that white or multi-colored underwear underneath white pants, skirts etc is big FAT NO! Thongs, black pants and even bikers shorts still exist so why any one would put their underwear on display I don't know! Also for tights too. Yes your tights are black but you know butt area stretches and makes your panties visible, so please ensure to wear a top that covers ur butt! I just find it tacky and ghetto! Please desist!

- DISHES/SINK: I don't like when people finish eating and leave leftovers in their plates and then put the plate in the sink! Can u please scrap whatever food is in your plate into the garbage before putting the plate into the sink. And I dnt like when plates in the sink are pilled unevenly. Yes, I knw they are dirty dishes but it dsnt mean the sink shd look so disorganized that I dnt want to put my hand in it to do the dishes. Please put falt plates at the bottom bowls on top and cutlery inside the bowl so that way even though the dishes aren't done the sink isn't an eye-sore.

- SMOKING: So I don't like the act of smoking, yes I've tried it out of curiosity but I just couldn't understand why people did it. Neways, if you choose to smoke all I ask is that you do not do it near me! The worst case is people who smoke while waiting for the bus. You know the bus is gonna be here any minute now, you light up and puff and then bring all that smoke with you on the freaking bus! Y must I kill my lungs with you? Y must I sit and marinate in smoke for the duration of that bus ride? Why? Please smoke in a corner and freshen up before coming close to me, please. Thank you!

- COCO-POPS: I don't like when guys don't get a hair-cut and begin to develop coco-pops. It's just unattractive. I love that fresh cut with the waves in it...but there are waves and then there's over doing it sha.

- SLURP: I can't stand when people make that 'slurping' sound when drinking hot tea, coffee etc. I just can't...lol

- DIRT/DISORGANIZATION: I don't like clutter, dirty environments and just unnecessary untidiness. Things don't have to be perfectly arranged and color coordinated no, I don't have that kind of OCD but just neat and tidy.

So yeah this post is about 5days late *sigh* longggg story will tell you guys how the birthday weekend went maybe tomorrow :)

Have a great day.

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day #6: I Think Today's Music Is...

2011-07-06T17:53:00.000-04:00

Hello Me Darlings,

I'm happy for this blogging challenge 'cos it has forced/gotten me to blog by force :) Thanks for the comments...but yeah that's honestly how I feel about the ex. No regrets. Just lesson's learned. :)

Moving on, today's post asks what my views are on Today's Mainstream music. I'm not a music critic, and I'm not one of those people who updates their music player/collection regularly. My latest addition to my music collection are SuperStar by Wizkid and 4 by Beyonce.

I listen to a lot of Nigerian music and the usual ermm popular American songs on the radio. The Nigerian industry has grown in leaps, but there are still bounds of improvement to be made. I think creatively the artists are not pushing themselves enough, and I honestly don't know if this is the fault of the artists or we the listeners who seem to like the cheesy, cut and paste kind of songs and are not as receptive towards diversity.

If we plan on going international which I believe we do with the whole Kanye signing Don Jazzy and D'Banj...I strongly believe we have to up our game even higher. From the music, to production, to video concepts and even the over way and manner with which we handle our business. That "naija business mentality" of unprofessionalism will not carry us far internationally. Tardiness, in ability to put together a decent press release, handle crisis, media presence and carriage etc... these little things matter, because it's all in the details.

Also, there's sooo much talent out there. But we are all sleeping on them...even the well established acts should begin to find ways to structure the industry and offer opportunities to these talented unknowns. It can be a win-win for everyone if properly managed.

I'm just glad that the industry has grown and continues to grow...I mean now a DJ can DJ an event and play Nigerian songs from start to finish without running out of songs! :)

In other more important news! It's my birthday tomorrow! July 7th 07/07 Perfection toh bad! :) I'm excited for this weekend, I'm happy and somewhat sad about certain things. But I've told myself my birthday doesn't come everyday so I'm gonna suppress the sad thoughts and focus on the good and just bask in it and then handle the other stuff later.
I'm getting old, next thing I'll be having quarter life crisis lol smh.

Neways gotta run and go get my hair done! Thank you to everyone again, especially the new followers!!! :* Kisses!!!!

Currently playing: Gidi Girl - WizKid :)

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!!!!

Day #5: My Ex Should Know That...

2011-07-05T18:27:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Darlings,

So I fell off track with my 30 Day blogging challenge, but I'm not quitting! I had a crazy 4th of July weekend; ended up not going to Orlando. Flight issues. Felt so miserable at the airport, after waiting for 7hours only to be told oh, the flight is fully booked and you can't get on! *sigh* I broke down in tears, I guess it was all the frustration from other stuff. So instead of going home to be alone, depressed and sulking I took a cab to my friends place in Jersey City...and I had an awesome weekend with friends. Chillin', shopping for things for their apartment, movies (Transformers 3...loved it), fireworks, and I cooked for the bunch of us a couple of times! I don't get a chance to cook for people and entertain, it was nice to cook, have people eat and just be happy! Looking forward to spending my b'day weekend (this weekend) with 'em again. Finally decided on what to do. :)
No we are not going out to dinner.
No I am not having a house party.
No we are not hitting the club.
We are bringing the club with us anywhere we decide to go :) ....Party-bus!!

I wanted something different, and this is def different...we've never done this before. Will let you know how it goes!
PS: The bus we booked has 2 stripper poles lol...that is all! I'm getting old and getting to the age where certain things I can't be doing as often, so I'm gonna enjoy this birthday and have a good time.

Now on to my 30 Day Challenge: Things I Want To Say An Ex:

Here's the thing, I don't have a handful of exes. I honestly would say I have only one. This is because my rships have been long, and by long I mean at least 2yrs. And I began dating at about 17/18 so I've only had 2 rships since then. So that being said there's only one ex, and honestly I'm not sure what I would wanna say to him at this point but I'll try sha...

- First off, I'm sorry for the way things ended. There's never a happy ending or a fun way to handle a break-up but I'm sure I could have broken the news to you in a better way. It was my first break-up, and I cared for you so much that I too couldn't believe it was happening, couldn't fully wrap my head around how and why all of a sudden I wanted out. I wish we had maybe talked it out more, I don't know if that would have helped tho.

I think it would have helped, because I would have figured out the real reason why I wanted out...and I would have (maybe) given it more thought before entering into another relationship, because I would have been aware of certain things that I wasn't aware of earlier on in this rship.

I don't regret breaking up with you, it was def bound to happen at some point. Your life-style was wrong, regardless of how much I tried to justify why you did what you did, it was wrong. And me helping you out with was even worse *sigh*

I also wish we still talked or at least say hi, but people say its selfish for the one who ended the relationship to always expect to still be friends or watever...but some form of cordial communication would be nice because I shared certain memories with you that nobody else would understand but oh well..it is what it is right?

Neways, I hope you're doing good. I'm doing great! Life has it's ups and downs, but I think I've done good thus far. :) Wish you the very, very best! Ciao!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day #4: My Day Went Like This...

2011-06-30T16:38:00.000-04:00

Hi there Cupcakes! :)

So it's Day 4 of the blogging challenge and I'm supposed to bullet my day. At the moment tho', it is 3.45pm and so my day isn't officially over but I'll give you want the run would most likely look like.

Woke up late. Woke up @ 8.10am instead of 7.30am!
Since I was late, I took a cab to train station @ 8.50am
Hopped on the 9.06am train
Got to work @ about 9.45am
Chatted with the Big Sis on BBM @ about 11am.
Had lunch @ 1.40pm,from the leftovers of client pitch meeting - BBQ chicken & salad.
Updated blog @ 3.45pm
Get off work @ 5.45pm. Long weekend begins 'cos we get Friday and Monday off :)
Head down to 35th street to get my eyebrows done. (Maybe I'll thread 'em for the first time)
Roam around midtown doing tafia/amebor shopping then head home @ 7.30pm
Eat dinner. Watch TV. BBM Chat with whoever.
Begin packing for Orlando trip from 9pm till about 11pm.
Browse the net, read blogs, buy call credit, pay credit card, etc till sleep comes.

...Yeah I know my everyday life isn't that glamorous. Very basic. Oh! also insert 'tweeted all day' into the above list.

So to help make this a little bit more interesting, I've added a pic of my work desk @ the moment. The yellow/greenish clock was a gift from my Mom for getting hired :). It's so cute will show you a clearer pic later.

Neways that's about it for now. My next post will be from my hotel room in Orlando, Florida. I'm not excited about this Reunion, don't ask me why I'm going *sigh* long story that has me f*ing pissed at the moment! People can be soooo damn unprofessional! Ugh!

Neways will bring y'all gist if there's any. Have a great 4th of July weekend my cupcakes!!!

PS: Still don't know what to do for ym b'day. Suggestions so far:
- Boat cruise/party
- Comedy Show and then Club
- Karaoke, Drinks & Club

What are your thoughts?

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day 3: A Book I Love...

2011-06-29T16:14:00.000-04:00

Hi Guys,

So this is where there's wahala. I haven't read a book in a long, long time! :( I know, I know it's bad...I should be reading more to open my mind and all that stuff, but I just can't seem to find time and my reading mojo. In high school, I was sat at the very last seat at the back and so during boring classes (read as maths class) I would jst jejely arrange my tiny body by lying down and resting my head on my seat mates laps and reading away. Fast forward to now and I can't finish a book! Whenever I'm going to Naija I pick up a book at the airport and immediately the plane takes off I'm fast asleep x_x.

Last book I read and finished, was Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey. I enjoyed it. Won't say I loved it, but it was good and funny read.

If you would like to help me in getting my reading mojo back, I know of a great way! My b'day is in 7days! July 7th, what better way to help than to get me an iPad 2! So I can read on the go! Ok, Ok, a lil much? What about the BB Playbook? *sigh* alright then a regular e-reader will do. :) Thank you as you begin to contribute towards this great effort!

Have a great day me darlings!

PS: If you enjoy reading, tell a friend, to tell a friend to come and read my blog too :)

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Day 2: I Feel Strongly About...

2011-06-28T11:59:00.001-04:00

Morning me Darlings,

So yeah, I'm blogging two days in a row :) I guess we can say the challenge is working so far. Today's post should be on "something I feel very strongly about." Hmmm...come to think of it, I'm not the kind of person who usually has strong views on things and argues and defends them everywhere I go. Like I'm hardly ever in an argument, heated debate or discussion about things. For example if people are gathered together talking about politics or women's rights etc I'd be the kind of person who will just say my piece and keep it rolling. I don't stay debating for hours. Now I don't know if that's a bad thing; maybe I'm not passionate enough? Or am I just too open about things that I like to try and see it from both sides? Or am I just not in tune with issues of the world etc? I don't know.

For now I feel strongly about "men who bring nothing to the table." Again, time and time over I've seen an experienced this both personally and through friends. We come from homes where our mothers have been the Hercules in the home. Taking care of things, and doing it with a smile so that the kids don't notice. Telling us, oh Daddy & I got you this, but we know the truth. It's one thing to have a woman be the breadwinner, but also to have a husband who gives her due respect and appreciates her for what she does. But when some men still belittle their wives/significant others despite the fact that they the men are not bringing shishi (nothing) to the table, that I can't stand! It's crushes me!

Time to bring money for school fees - "I don't have", "Where do you expect me to get it from?" "Why is the school fees so expensive? Isn't there anything cheaper?" *sigh*

Pls money to go to market for the month - "Manage whatever is in the house", "Thief! U want to go and buy the whole market",

Christmas is coming, this children need clothes - "That's how u spoil them abi", "They should wear last yrs clothes"

Stupid, irritating responses meanwhile these men are keeping mistresses outside, even in the same school that their kids are going to, where they complained that tuition is too expensive. *sigh* I could go on, but you get the picture. This too is one of my worries/paranoia that I don't want to end up in such a situation, 'cos heaven knows I won't take it. I can't take it. I'm patient and understanding but these have limits. I don't intend on being a full-time housewife, but I do not want to carry the whole family on my tiny shoulders.

Few years ago, I was the girl who would say ahhh dnt be hard on the guy, jst manage. I didn't want to be thought of as a gold-digger, but today, my tone is different. I'm not saying the guy should be TFB or some millionaire, but please if I am bringing something to the table, I see no reason why you shouldn't. Love is great! Love is wonderful, but show me stability and financial security in addition to the love.

So there, you have it. This is what I feel strongly about - Men who do not bring anything to the table. And this is why I said yesterday that hardworking men def win my heart.

*TFB - Trust Fund Baby

Have a great day guys!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Wanna Win My Heart?

2011-06-27T13:12:00.000-04:00

Hi Guys,

I just want to say a big THANK YOU to those who commented on my last post. It's not easy, but I'm still holding on believing this is only temporary and it's the storm before the sun shines.

So I found this on Sting's blog the other day and decided to do it. It's a 30 day blogging challenge. Hopefully this will help me get my blogging mojo back, as well as help in keeping me busy and distracted from missing him too much. So for day #1, the challenge is to write about 5 Ways to Win My Heart. I don't know if this refers to guys or in general, I'm gonna just do it with regards to guys even though I'm currently not dating. Here we go in no particular order...

- Caring & Attentive: I love romance (there are days when I'm irritated by it), and just feeling special so a guy who is caring and attentive to my needs both big and small definitely gets a plus with me. Lil' gestures that most guys wld overlook. So one time I was on the phone with a friend and mentioned that my dress was orange, when we all got together to hangout later that day, he brought me an orange flower. I'm like dude that's so sweet, ur next gf is a lucky chic.

- Funny & Lively: I personally believe that I have multiple personalities (dnt ask) but one min I can be quiet, just on my BB, watching tv or browsing the net and to myself for hours! And then the next I am bouncing off the walls, with random spurts of theatrical display x_x Only my close friend T has seen this mad side. But in general I like to have a good time, and so a guy who is funny, dsn't mind being made fun of, and enjoys hanging out, doing fun stuff, wins my heart. I can't stand an overly quiet and in his own shell kinda guy,I always worry what are they thinking.

- Confidence & Taking charge: *sigh* I live with my Mom and I'm used to getting things done myself. So a guy who takes charge of things would be greatly welcomed. I like things being planned, scheduled on time and just organized and when I give someone the opportunity to take charge and their not keeping up, it irks me. So a guy who is confident, and takes charge, but is also confident enough to ask for help when he needs it is great! I wanna just fall back and be like "yeah, I ain't got to worry about XYZ 'cos I know my man got it under control. That's my babie!" :)

- RESPECTFUL & HARDWORKING: I'm not the easiest person to deal with at times. But a man who regardless of it all is respectful of me, who I am, what I do and I am passionate about is a keeper. Respect not just towards me but towards my family and friends too. I've seen too many women in my family carry the burden of breadwinner with little to no support from the so called man; and for that reason my patience is very, very thin with men who think sitting on their asses is a form of revenue generation. Heck no! I'll be realistic and say I don't expect you to be rolling in dollars, but get your butt moving and work! All that BS about Daddy's money, running one or two deals (read as just waiting to get sme cut from one tiny transaction) etc ain't gonna fly. Hit the pavement and hit it hard, because that encourages us women that ok this is trying and we should stand by you. But just sitting and twiddling thumbs, becoming a local champion/area father while people around you are moving on that's just inexcusable.

PRESENTATION & PACKAGING: By this I mean personal appearance, and carriage. I don't wanna sound shallow, but the reality of the situation is nobody wants to be with someone who they are embarrassed to be seen with in public. #Gbam. You don't have wear awon designer and things, but please find clothes and colors that work with your body and not against it! Get a hair cut! I can't even begin to go into how much of a tunr a good hair cut is for me lol, comb/brush your hair, no cocopops kinda steez pls! Then the icing on the cake is a good cologne! Guys, don't be surprised when the amount of hugs you get on the daily increases...babes love a guy that smells good! Ask any chic and she'll tell you this.

So there, those are the 5 Ways to Win My Heart but ermm this heart is currently closed for winning lol.

If you wanna take the 30 day challenge go to Sting's blog (link above) and get the details.
Have a great week ahead me darlings!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Hanging In There...

2011-06-26T00:23:00.000-04:00

...Hang in there, that's what we say to someone going through a rough patch, with the believe that that rough patch will soon pass.
Hang in there, focus on the big picture, it's all a phase...I say this to people and more times than I can ever count, I say it to myself. But, heck it's easier said than done.
The past couple of weeks have been kinda, sorta rough and trying.
Distance sucks huge balls!!! Never get into a LDR, I tell ya, its the worst thing you can do to yourself *sigh*

Now that I'm done with school and I'm now working, I feel the distance more than ever. Before, I had school to keep my focus, and keep me busy/distracted. But now that I have my weekends, and after work hours to myself, I find myself feeling his absence more and more :( I mean, I wanna go out to dinner, movie or even just walk through the park. Road-trips, vacations, and even lazy indoor weekends...*sigh*

It's summer and everyone is going away on vacation to diff places, acquiring new experiences and memories, I'm just here. For someone who loves to travel I sure as hell haven't done any in years! Instead of planning trips, I save up vacation time to be able to go visit Nigeria. I mean Naij is fun during Christmas and all, but it would be nice to travel somewhere else...even Dubai, South Africa ain't a bad idea.

My good friend who used to be my plus one to events and hanging out now has a boyfie so yeah, I don't see her anymore and I don't like hanging out with them...being a third wheel isn't fun either.

So I'm hanging in there, but I gotta say it ain't easy and some days I almost want to just stop hanging and just...you know how when Meredith drowned in Grey's Anatomy, instead of fighting and swimming she just let herself drown? Yeah, that's kind of how I feel sometimes. Maybe my McDreamy will come and save me like Derek came to save Meredith *sigh* wishful thinking abi? Smh

Ok, I'm gonna stop now so I dnt sound like I'm whining...I just needed to talk and share without feeling bad or selfish. :(

My birthday is in 2weeks and I don't know what I'm doing this year...tired of the usual dinner and drinks...wanna do something nice and fun. Suggestions??? If I had my own place, I would have thrown a BBQ party but oh well. I'm getting old, but thank God I dnt look it. I can still pass for 16-17 :) and that's about 7yrs off my real age; not bad eh? I know.

Have a great weekend every one and thanks for lending your me your ears :*

Hugs and Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

TGIF....Aren't U Glad?!

2011-05-06T16:52:00.000-04:00

Dear BlogFam,

How have u all been? *sigh* It's been a very, very busy past couple of weeks! When I just started this job I was complaining that there was too much down time and nothing to do...I should have kept my mouth shut! It's as if all the client decided to roll out/make adjustments in their campaigns....work! work! work! I've also been frustrated with myself; u know how when you're learning as you go and you make mistakes only to find out they were silly mistakes *sigh* I can't wait to learn everything and not have to be the newbie always asking for help :(

Meanwhile, I've been sleep deprived this past week. With chauffeuring my beloved Mom to the airport, and picking my friends Mom, and operation "mini extreme home makeover" before my Mom returns, 9 - 5 work and side gigs...I don tire. Got home last night and my body couldn't take it any more. I was a second away from crying. You know that tired exhausted feeling where you're just so burned out you wanna cry... I fell asleep BBMing the boyfie saying why are u not here!, if you were here you wld be taking care of me now and cuddling me to sleep...yadi yadi yada....lol...poor man. I harass his life but its all love :)

Memorial Day weekend is coming and I'm all sorts of excited because the destination is The Hamptons!!! Yelz! It's not only oyinbo or wealthy people that can have a good time...lol. Group of us are renting a house and spending the weekend! Heated pool, nice houses, clean beaches, tennis courts... I just need a get away shaa. Thank you Lord.

My dear blogfam what would you do if a guy who has a girlfriend, asks you out to lunch, spends time hanging out with you and two other friends till 4am, is constantly in communication with you (except when his GF is around)...He hasn't said anything about oh I like you but his actions are def loud enough. And the funny thing is the girl is making excuses for him (oh women! why do we do this to ourselves?) As my dear Naija ppl talk..."na from clap dance dey start".

My commencement ceremony is in 3weeks and I don't have a dress. I'll try and shop for one this weekend if time is my friend. Meanwhile I've gained a few invisible pounds! My weight has been steady for almost 3weeks thanks to my office that seems to always have food lying around. Breakfast food for early meetings, nice lunches for client meetings, beer and pizza for thurs/friday meetings, cupcakes and pastries thanks to cake shops in the area or a jolly co-worker. And according to my team members it gets even worse in the summer :). I'm not complaining. 10-15lbs here I come!!!! Maybe now I can buy a dress off the rack and not have to have it slim-fitted. :)

I was gonna blog about the my favorite male things...things I find attractive/like, but this ended up being an update. Oh well...next time. Have a lovely weekend me darlings!!!!!!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

How Do You Let Go...

2011-04-14T13:17:00.000-04:00

Hello Me Darlings,

Hope everyone is doing great! Everytime I want to update, I start and mid-way give up *sigh* I'm going to make sure I finish and POST this time. The past few weeks have been emotionally draining for me. You know when you want something sooo bad, but can't have it due to diff factors that just aren't properly aligned. And everytime I try to let go of the situation I'm completely reminded of why I want this 'thing' so bad and I'm dragged further down into a depressed, unhappy and then angry state of mind. So on Sunday the sermon was about having hope, and just leaving our problems at the feet of the Lord and not going out the church with them...easier said than done if you ask me.

Like seriously guys how do you let go of a situation and not worry about it? I guess that's the daily challenge/battle that I have to ask God to help me with. Please pray for the spirit of patience, wisdom and reciprocation for me...Thanks!

- I love my job and my team, but the other day I was learning something and then I missed a step and freaked out! Smh...I kept saying to myself this chic teaching me must think I'm a special ed student, I promise I'm not. Oh well, I'm getting a hang of it slowly. :)

- It funny how sometimes when you begin to second doubt yourself and your abilities, people come out of no way to acknowledge and commend what you do :). It's like a perfectly timed hug! I've mentioned a few times that I do PR as a side gig...I just got a new client and she's good. And I got offered to help out with PR for a big upcoming event, God willing everything goes well. And I also just got offered another regular gig where my voice will be heard :). I'm bursting with excitement, but above all I am humbled that people notice and appreciate what I do. It means a lot to me.

- So when I look at all the good things that are happening, I can't help but relax a little and just say to myself if He's sending all this good stuff my way He def has a plan for me a plan of good and not of evil...that will prosper me. So I really should just relax, take the back seat and let Him drive. God's been faithful! I can't deny that.

- It was the Boyfie's birthday earlier on this week :) I think I was more excited about it than he was lol. I got someone to deliver cake to him @ work. Babie was all smiles, and just knowing that it made his day made me happy :). I miss him much! But we've got lots of work to do, this distance has got to go soon...Amen!

- I hate the fact that I have to walk down a hill to catch the bus to work...because it discourages me from wearing heels when the weather gets really nice. I mean its not like stilettos, just wedge heels.

- So Memorial weekend is around the corner...and I think I might be going to the Hampton's with a group of friends :) excited to just take a break.

- I need shopping sites/store suggestions...aside from the usual F21, H&M, Charlotte Russe, American Apparel, Zara...wat other stores are there...that carry nice stuff and any stores for petite people :)

- Does anybody know a good Bible app or devotional. Thanks.

Well, there you have it, a post! I have a meeting in a few mins and I have succeeded in typing up a post. Excuse the random nature but if I try to make it coherent and all I'll end up never posting. Excuse any grammatical errors too. Have an awesome day, and a wonderful weekend ahead!

Love you all bunches!

Hugs & Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Thanks for making me feel like CRAP!

2011-04-04T18:28:00.000-04:00

...*sigh* Mood swings go up and down like a freaking yo-yo
Few good days, few bad days
Snap! Snap! Snap! goes my temper. Over what?
The littlest things just set the damn thing off!
Like a pair of shoes not properly placed...Snap!
A simple question being asked...Snap!
Having to clean up after someone...Snap!
Not hearing from him becos of shitty BBM service...Snap!
You get the picture?

I really shouldn't be in this shitty yo-yo mood phase.
I mean I currently don't have any majors issues bothering me (I think)
You know how when everything is supposed to be great or just fine
The devil finds a way to just mess with you...stirring up drama where there shdn't be any
Why can't I just have that moment where everything's great!

*sigh* There's so much I wanna tell you (and you) but my overly conscious filter wont let me vent the way I wanna
PS: That talk with you, I know it was supposed to help but...yeah it kinda did
Becos I finally got to hear all you had on your mind all this while
But now I feel like crap! Can't even look myself in the mirror...
Why did you wait this long to say all you had to say? You waited
Waited till I stripped myself bare, naked and vulnerable to my inner most core
We wined and dined in my secret place...a place free of judgement, cross-examination
And just when I thought all was well and as close to perfect as it could be...
You set me up... placed me on the stand before the jury - yourself
To be judged and cross-examined *sigh*
And then you expect me to fight and defend myself...how?
How am I supposed to? With what strength? I am drained.
Emotionally. And this is worse than physical strength being taken away.

The irony is, you still want to wine and dine...like nothing happened.
*sigh* I'm even too drained to finish typing this.
Principles. You ask me where my principles are? Hmmmm...lol
I'm not perfect, I make mistakes...and you do too, so where you get off coming to question my principles I don't know... Thing is, I keep my shut becos I hate having to apologize for my words...so rather than say what I really wanna say and then apologize later....I'll fall back....say this, lessons learned!

9 - 5...This Chic Got Hired!!! :)

2011-03-18T17:26:00.000-04:00

Hello Me Darlings...

How has everyone's week been? Trust it's been great! Especially for my NY folks with this 70 degrees weather today...AWESOME! Took a walk during lunch today, and for once I went out without a jacket! Spring is here I can feel it! :)

Remember in my previous post when I mentioned that I had good news, but was holding off on sharing...? Yeah, you remember right..ok. Sooo you all know how I've been looking for a full-time job since I graduated in Dec? Well...the good Lord has ended my search with a wonderful job :) Yes! Yes! Me Darlings, your girl got a full-time job with benefits, paid over-time, and all that good stuff. Thank you to each and everyone of you for your prayers, and good wishes. It is a digital ad agency located in NYC, and it's a great launching pad for an entry-level candidate like me...and great team that I get to work with.

So it's Friday and it's the end of week one as an employed/working woman... As my good friend and I say, I am now a CWA member (pronounce as 'Kwa') lol...CWA means CareerWomenAssociation (pls excuse our silliness lol). Anyway, week one was mainly training, and me getting to see what my duties and functions will be...and boy did I freak out for a minute.

You know all those ad banners you see online? Yeah those sometimes annoying ones, I'll be trafficing those ads. What that means is after the creative department have designed the ads, I upload the static ads (these are ads without flash properties, i.e they don't move, more like jst .gif and jpeg pics) and use a software/advertising tool to add a live url or link to these ads and then send them to the publisher to make live/put up in the different placements ( these are yahoo, aolnews, etc whereever u see banner ads).

The interesting part of this process is that those links contain codes with which we advertising people use in measuring/monitoring our consumers online behaviors and activites. Like how long you spend on the ads, the websites, where you visit often, and all this info helps us know what ads to send to you and what ads not to :) It's so exciting to see how it all comes to life, and now to be a part of it. I think I'm gonna love it here!

As a new hire, they take a pic of you and it is displayed on the tv screens around the building; everytime I walk past and see my face it always feels weird, and somewhat unreal...I have a job *sigh* Thank you Lord! If only they had told me the pic wld up I for smile, I look like 5 year old whose Mom left her alone in the middle of the store...huge white eyes and a lost look lol.

So I went out for lunch with the other newbie on my team, she's Asian, and she begins to tell me how she loves my hair and all, so I was like oh its even old and I'm gonna take it out this weekend. You should have seen the look on her face O_O! She was like "huh?! Isn't that your hair?" Lol...I should have kept my mouth shut! So I began a windy explanation about I had extensions in, and I take them out and do a different style and all. Well on one hand it means my hair-lady really did a good job with the fixing, but it also means people are really clueless about blacks and our hair! :) Now my dilemma is, I concerned about the looks I'll get next week when I return to work without my 14inch Remy Saga hair, and all the questions I'll have to answer. But I've really missed my hair...it's been XX hmmm if I tell y'all how long una go run. But everytime I wanna take the weave out someone comments about how nice it is and the stay just kept getting longer #don'tjudgeme jorr!

I really wish I could show you guys pics...the older the hair got the more it looked nice and more like all those expensive human hair! I wish there was a way to get it to look like this faster without having to have it in for as long as I have had it. *sigh* Oh well, my new colleagues will love/like me like that jorr....with or without hair weaves. I'm hoping that working here, I'll be able to make an eclectic mix of friends. I love my Nigerian ppl and all, but I really want to mix with other cultures, nationalities and all. And I wanna do fun stuff now that my weekends are free of schoolwork and catching up on sleep.

Yesterday after work my good Nigerian friend and a few others just went out for drinks after work :) it was nice to be doing fun stuff as a CWA member u know ;) lol. Pls excuse my excitement and just bear with me.

Oh the day I went to just look at aprtments and found this really nice one not far from my current neighborhood. *sigh* I fell in loveage! (as Lohi will say) Washer and Dryer in the apartment, concierge, gym, movie room, water front views, playgrounds, security, and all that good stuff for within my budget!!!! What's the problem u ask? Well My Mama ooo! Still don't know what to do o. When I showed her the floor plan and all the stuff it had to offer u know what this woman said lol "Ah its by the water, what if Tsunami should come" lol I kid u not! I love that woman to death!!!! And its my putting her first that is making me not able to just up and leave her by herself... I don't want her to be lonely! Our family has had it rough and I dnt want her missing not enjoying the companionship she shd be if things were right and my Dad was here. (he's not dead, just not present).

I can't be her husband, but I worry about leaving her alone. And there's no relations nearby that I can say oh they'll have each other to keep company and all. I know eventually I'll marry and begin my own family, but for now I worry about leaving her. Well, I'm gonna give her a few months to warm up to the idea, take her to the apartment to look at it herself and see why its better than where we currently are at. And if she still insists on staying, I"ll move and find a way of not worrying too much.

So until then if I keep blogging about this issue please bear with me, I dnt have a therapist and this blog serves as my outlet...and that's why I appreciate each and everyone of you for your stopping by and dropping comments! Muahz!!!

It's 5.21pm and I need to get out of this office and head home! Thanks AnonGA for the email appreciate it!!!

Have a wonderful weekend Me Darlings! And to all of you praying and waiting for something PLEASE believe me when I say if He has said it, He will do it!!!! He is not man that He should lie!!!! Just TRUST Him and stay put!

I love you all bunches and bunches you have no idea!

Hugs and Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Leopard Cravings

2011-03-02T01:14:00.000-05:00

Hello Me Darlings,

How's everyone doing? Hope everyone's week got off to a great start!
I've been wanting to put up a post for a while now, but every time I try to, I always panic that I don't have anything meaningful to put up...and nothing interesting or fun is happening in my life at the moment so...yeah. Anyways, I've decided to go ahead and just type whatever...so here goes a random post :)

It's my girls birthday this weekend and she's having a partayyy! Karaoke on Friday, party on Saturday, and maybe brunch on Sunday! I'm excited to have a good time, but not excited at the fact that I do not have a dress! I have searched high and low, and can't seem to find a bad ass dress in my size. Yes, yes I know I'm always complaining about this...but its not my fault. They don't show love to us tiny people...we are people too u know! Oh well, I'll figure it out.

I have good news to share, but I'm kinda waiting before I share it with you guys :) But please know that God is awesome!!! I'm excited and nervous, but ready.

So my graduation ceremony date has been announced. It's June 3rd :) I had actually forgotten that there was a ceremony...so now the question is "what do I wear?" *sigh* I was thinking of making a formal styled dress with ankara...or maybe I should buy a dress and call it a day abi? What do y'all think? Then I'll prolly do lunch with my Mom and small knit of friends at a restaurant. I'm just grateful for the completion of this journey. :)

I read Taynment's post about not wanting to be labeled as the chic with Daddy issues...I can sooo relate. And I refrain from talking about it or even bringing it up with the boyfie, cos I don't want it to seem as if I'm blaming my attitude towards certain things on "Daddy issues", so I choose to not discuss the topic. When in all honesty I want to talk about it, I think I need to, so that I can move on somewhat but...for now no talking. And so far I think I've done just fine.

Charlie Sheen has lost his mind! #ThatIsAll

A friend just surprised me with a graduation gift...it's not the gift that blew me away...but he included a hand-written letter :) Who knew that people still wrote those. Thanks a lot! iLove it!

Just started following the Four Aces blog...if you don't you should. They always have fun fashion and life-style posts.

I need to make new friends/hang out buddies! Problem is I suck at keeping in touch, and I don't go out often especially in the fall/winter time...me and cold weather do not mesh! Plus I don't live in the city so having to go out, stay out late and then be journeying back to my house alone at night turns me off from going out :( But the irony of this is that I do love to go out. I know, I know that doesn't make sense. My friend in Naija was asking me the other day, "what tha hell happened to you?" I wish I could answer that question.
Just last week my friend told me that at the rate I'm going, I'm gonna turn 50 before I turn 25!!!! *sigh* that's not good!

I want my own apartment/space so bad :( but patience...patience. People keep saying I'm gonna miss the comfort of having my Mom around and all...but I've had a shared space for sooo long. I want my own. On the other hand, I worry about moving out and leaving her alone :(... I worry that she's gonna fall asleep while there's something on the fire (she does it quite often after working long hours) and there'll be no one to wake her up or to turn it off. I worry about her coming home and not having anyone to rant to about her crazy work day or about my Dad, and then when the internet trips off and needs to be reset or hours need to be spent on the phone wiv customer service from India trying to fix it who'll do it for her? I think we'll just get a bigger apartment and I'll carry her along even though she keeps insisting she's not moving anywhere.

Communication can do wonders for relationships.

Wendy Williams is going to be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars! Mehn, I don't know how I feel about that. I mean I love her and I enjoy her show as messy and tacky as it is, but her dancing??? I wonder who her partner is and how she's gonna keep from not toppling over and bursting her boobies. It's gonna be a mess! How You Doin'? How You Dancin'? lol

I think I should do a video post soon because when I'm not infront of my laptop, different things that I wanna blog about just keep popping up in my head and the minute I sit dwn to type I go blank! smh

I'm still undecided about what to get a Masters in. I have no clue, maybe after a year of working I'll have a better idea...maybe an MBA? Or Msc in Marketing? *sigh*

I can't wait to take my weave out! I miss my hair :( I hope I dnt go bald cos I've had this sew-in for a whileeee now.

So the other day some dude who I had a few classes with called me up and long and short goes on about how he's been asking me out but I keep dodging O_O! I didn't even know he was asking me out! I thought he was just being nice, and I used to look at him with the eye of "awww small boy". All I remember was giving him a ride to his place and he said do you go out, and I was like yeah. And he said we should hangout sometime and I was like oh sure, cool. My people is that how they ask people out nowadays? Biko forgive me I dnt know these things. I haven't been single in ermmm five years so I dnt know how it works. Lol I jst kept laughing on the phone...poor boy. No vex o!

So I went on a little retail therapy trip and I found these at TJ Maxx...I've always wanted leopard patterned shoes...kind of like one of those must-have classics that don't fade-out with fleeting trends. And it's hairy/furry like the real leopard skin. What do you think? Yay or Nay?

Okay folks...that's about it for now. Hope everyone has an awesome day ahead! Sending you all hugs...I'm a hugger and cuddler :)

Hugs and Kisses,
Miss Enigma! :*

Anniversary of an Immigrant

2011-02-14T16:59:00.000-05:00

Hi Me Darlings,

Let me start of by saying Happy Valentine's Day to each and every one of you! This day isn't just for lovers, but for loved ones and dear ones...and you my beloved readers, followers and friends are dear to me. Hope this day and the rest of the year bring you lods and loads of love to warm your hearts.

As much as I would love to be celebrating this day with the boyfie, I can't and so rather than sulk I'll just keep busy and try to focus on other things...but in due time this distance too shall come to pass.

Nevertheless, I have another anniversary that I kind of celebrate every 14th of Feb. Five years ago today, I set foot on this US soil for the very first time. I remember at the time when my Mom told me she had booked our tickets for Feb 13th to arrive NY the 14th, I was beside myself...why? how could she? It was supposed to be the first Valentine's day with my then boyfriend and I had been looking forward to it with so much anticipation *sigh* Well after all the huffing and puffing, the excitement of moving over took over and I was fine.

I packed my bags, and things that I considered precious. Letters/notes between my then bestie and I, pictures of high school, college, family members, little items that had some form of significance...and then we were off. The journey of the unknown, literally. I was just about to begin 200L, my Mom quit her job... she had visited before, but I hadn't. All we had was God, each other (my aunt who we were going to stay with) and just the belief/hope that in the end it will all be worth it (even though there were times we doubted this).

When we arrived at JFK, and walked outside, we were welcomed by the worst snow storm of the season, about 15 - 18 inches of snow piled high all around. I froze. This couldn't be! It felt like I was walking through a cold-room, only this was bad...real bad Michael Jackson! But I was here. In NYC. And I was curious to see more, and see if it was anything like it was in the movies, on the news and all of that. My aunt isn't a fan of cooking, so we made a pit stop @ KFC...and then we went home, to her apartment. It was tiny! I remember thinking to myself, this can't be the entire apartment, there's got to be more...probably in the morning I'll see all of it.

By morning, I realized there wasn't more to see. Just a tiny match-box like apartment. I was shocked. How could an apartment be so tiny? How could this be...home? Well this was going to be my new home, and so I had to find a way to love it or deal with it.
Five years later...we are still in our tiny apartment (though my aunt has moved to Houston) and now, it is home. How? Why? We've bonded. I have so many memories in that match box. When I think of certain milestones and experiences, I can't help but think of the matchbox home. If walls could talk...the walls would probably know me just as much as any of the people closest to me.

Looking back, there were rough times. Having to work two jobs back to back in cold winter weather, when I had never worked a day in my life before. I went from Sears>TJMaxx>Bath&BodyWorks>JPMorganChase>Marketing>Ad Agency, a steady climb that I am proud of; and generally adjusting and making friends, and all the other stuff that people face when they move. But all in all, I am grateful! And I believe the move was worth it. Better opportunities for me to be me, without feeling pressured or judged (story for another day). Freedom not just for me, but for my Mom. We all know what some of our Moms go through in the name of marriage...and some women don't get the opportunity to break-free and achieve their dreams and just not feel like prisoners. I'm so glad she did.

So here's a toast to every immigrant (legal and illegal)...may the good Lord bless your/our hustle, and continue to open doors for us and increase us. May we be the head an not the tail...and may He enlarge our territories to honor of His name. Thank you Lord for everything you've done, and continue to do in our lives...Amen.

PS: Excuse my going all religious for a minute, but 1) I have to because I am nothing without Him. 2) It's MY blog :-)....deal with it!

Once again, Happy Valentine's Day and please continue to show love beyond today. Make it a habit. :* :*

Hugs and Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

Look Who's Back....:)

2011-02-10T00:05:00.000-05:00

Hi Darlings,

Happy New Year! Yes, yes I know we are in the month of February but this is my first post since the New Year. Hope everyone's year has gotten off to a great and awesome start.

I'll try and make this post short, and detailed without (hopefully) being boring.

I just got back from a 5 week vacay in Nigeria, and Lord knows I miss it already. But reality calls, and so I had to return to minus degree weather, snow storms and being stuck indoors in hibernation.

Nigeria was fun. This was the first time since I moved to NY five years ago that I was home for Christmas and New Year. Christmas in Lagos was fun. Family dinner, hanging out with friends, meeting up people I met on Twitter, making new friends and then some. I only attended two main events in Lagos; the Underground Exclusive event @ Club Rehab and then the All Black Everything party @ GET Arena, but I met a bunch of people.

My main purpose for taking a long vacation was to spend good quality time bonding with the boyfie. When you go for short vacations you spend the time being in la la land that it sometimes seems too perfect. This trip wasn't perfect, it was filled with so many ups and downs, but it all was for our own good at the end of the day. It was nice to be able to spend time learning and earning each other, getting to understand the little things and the big things, what we are willing to compromise on and not compromise on... I am grateful for time spent with him. I miss waking up and making/eating breakfast together, planning our days agenda together, watching tv together, doing chores together, oh and he knows his way around the kitchen :)... even the arguments *sigh* lol

I've learned and I continue to learn new things about relationships. I also continue to work at being the best of me that I can be. "Never tailor your relationship according to another relationship's measurement. One size does NOT fit all in relationship matters." - Me. #ThatIsAll

Moving on, this babe is officially now a graduate and so I'm on the market looking for a full-time job. And I tell you the search for a job, is a full-time job in itself. Filling out application forms, sending out emails and repeating/typing the same thing over and over and over again is so not fun. I end every day with a horrible headache from sitting infront of a laptop for hours. My poor eyes. Had two interviews yesterday and I am just committing everything unto God.

In other news I attended my first SuperBowl party on Sunday. Twas fun! About 25 people who were partially interested in the game, just enjoying great company, small chops, alcohol and good music. :) Good times. The only problem/issue I have with going out is when I meet guys at such social gatherings and they wanna hang out some other time; I have a slight panic button go off in my head because I don't mind hanging out in a group, but ermmm alone/one on one I just don't want them getting the wrong impression or putting myself in an awkward situation of having to pull the 'I have a boyfriend card'. *sigh* This is how you know you've been in a relationship for a long time...when you don't even know how to handle such situations anymore lol.

I'm currently listening to Super C Season by NaetoC (Thanks Booski ;-) ) and I like a lot. That #ShareMyBlessings track got me all teary eyed, though pretty much everything gets me teary eyed smh...lol. I also like #5and6 and #Afruru'm Gi Nanya a lot :)

So Valentine's day is here again, and as usual there are those who do not subscribe to the hoopla, those who celebrate it, those who are indifferent and those who just find an excuse to dodge lol. My take? Sure its a great opportunity for vendors to make money, but so is every other holiday including birthdays. We should celebrate our loved ones everyday, but again it does not hurt to take one day out of 365 and make it the official day of love. We all get older with each new day, but we have our official birthday. Anyways, I believe in recognizing Valentine's day...that being said I'm yet to have the Valentine's day that I really want :( seeing as the boyfie is oceans away. If he were here what would I want? :D lol... the usual flowers et all and just something well thought out, sweet and really romantic. I wanna get all dressed up and go out, maybe to a play or something...I dnt know jorr. Can a girl just be wowed and made to feel like the only girl in the world hehe...allow me wish jorr.

Anyways I want to believe I'm not the only one who has had enough of the punishingly cold winter? Please spring can like to come early...cos I'm so done. But seeing as I am currently unemployed and really do not have to venture out of my apartment except if necessary ( read as except if called for an interview lol) I haven't suffered its wrath too much.

Wait hold up the nail polish industry is a 173million dollar industry...and Justin Bieber has a nail polish collection that has sold out of all Walmart stores since two months ago. Lol wahala...wat does he know about nail polish???

Oh and I saw the Khloe and Lamar commercial for their fragrance Unbreakable....*smdh* all I can say is that they should have stuck to print ads only! Lamar Lamar Lamar please stick to basketball, and try not to get injured becos there's no future in acting for you my dear. And Khloe Khloe leave the sexy to Kim and find/create another niche for yourself my darling. And their Mom/Manager is so wrong for allowing such an ad to run. tsk tsk.

Ok before I start rambling off, I'm gonna stop here. Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their week. Love you guys muchos!!!!

Hugs and Kisses,
Miss Enigma!

It's Over...After 6years.

2010-12-28T22:40:00.000-05:00

*dusts cobwebs off and sneezes*

Indeed, it's been a while my dear blog fam...and although I can't remember anyone of you asking after me, I'll deceive myself that some of you did. Merry Christmas in arrears, and a Happy New Year in advance.

So it's the month of December and finally after how many years, I can joyfully say I am done with Undergrad. Thank you Lord, for without you it won't have been possible. After my last final, I walked out the hall and couldn't believe it. This is it. I am done. *sigh* There were times when I thought the day would never come...it seemed like I was spending forever in college. After high school I got into Univ of Benin and did my freshman year, then I moved to NY and had to wait a year to get my transcript since I was transferring; two years gone. But, all of that's behind me and I'm on to a new chapter.

This is the chapter where the job hunt begins, and I slowly begin to enter full independence and self reliance. I am trusting the Lord to do what He has always done, and give me the job He has designed for me. I am also battling with the decision of whether to move out and leave my Mom, or move to a bigger apartment with her where I can have my own space...trust me this decision is tougher than I had imagined.

For now, I'm in Naija on vacation. It's been one week down, and a few more to go. Had a great time so far even though I have been naughty, very very naughty and right now I have no regrets. I'm just doing me as selfish as it might be. Was at the All Black Everything party, the Underground Exclusive event...and it was nice to see a lot of old faces from high school. Also got to meet a few of my twitter fam. Goodtimes.

I usually do a yearly review at this time of the year in my journal, but so far I haven't had the chance to. But I've been going over the year in my head, and the only thing I can really say is that "His grace is sufficient for me." This year I lost/quit my part-time paid job, and then I interned for pay and then for school credit the rest of the year. Initially, I panicked. How would I survive without a steady source of pocket money/income. I was scared that the small savings would run out...but somehow He supplied all my needs. First He provided a summer paid internship, then when that ended out of nowhere He gave me PR gig that paid just enough to cover my monthly bus pass and lunch. *sigh* Thank you Lord...because even with my limited budget, I had a lot of fun this year...and I did not starve or lack.

Lately, I've been thinking and a lot of things that I've been suppressing and trying not to focus on have popped back into my head...and all I have to say is this "Love is NOT enough."

I'm on a mission and probably my New Year's goal (not resolution) is to gain 7 - 10 pounds, and yes that might sound so easy to you, but not for me. Wish me luck, and send in all your tips and suggestions. :)

There's a whole bunch of personal stuff I wanna tell you or rather share, but currently I'm not in the mind-frame to talk about...need to construct/make it cohesive before putting it on here.

Just incase I don't get to put up a post before the New Year, I hope you all know that I love and appreciate you greatly. I wish you good healthy and the gift of life to usher you into the New Year, and God's continued blessing and guidance to see you through the upcoming year...may your dreams become reality. Amen!

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

Ra Ra Randoms...

2010-10-03T20:23:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Darlings,

Hope everyone had a great weekend, and is looking forward to a blessed week!
Thanks for the comments, and good wishes...much appreciated. Also welcome to the new followers, hope you enjoy sharing/reading my journey.

Last week was CRAZY for me. I have this workshop class where we are working with am actual client and are currently in the early stages of trying to figure out what our "product" is, and it's driving me crazy. The client is a health advocacy group and so we are having trouble defining what the product is. This is why I'd rather work with clients that have tangible products like apparel, drinks, food...sha things that I can actually brand/position in the market...excuse my ad speak abeg...the thing just tire me.

In addition to the workshop class I had a couple of deadlines that I to meet...and my eleventh hour attitude almost had me having a panic attack! I no do again o! I have to start trying to get things done early...being just IN time is not good enough. So I gotta work on my time-management skills.

On a totally different note am I the only one who gets chills when during Praise & Worship in the middle of a song the keyboardist stops playing, and its just the drums (or sometimes no drums) and the choir or whoever is leading the session singing. Its like the song hits you deep within, and just unlocks the gate n' breaks dwn the walls u've put around ur trouble, ur worries, ur I'm so strong I won't break down persona...and you just want to literally fall down like a child at God's feet and weep ur burdens away. *sigh*

Fall is here...:( I dnt like. But what can I do. #shrug

I have a new hobby/guilty pleasure...there's this furniture store opposite my church. After serviceI like walking in and looking at furniture sets. Living room, bedroom, kitchen, sleep sofas...etc. I jst like looking and picturing in my head what I wld do if I had my own place *sigh* :)

Arik Air is really going hard with their advertising/PR. They've been giving away two round-trip tickets at almost every Nigerian event this period. NEA events, Independence parties, you name it they are there. I looked at pics of their air-crafts and they look really neat and nice. I hope they stay around long enough because no other airline flies direct from New York to Lagos, and with such reasonable rates.

Tryna decide between getting Remy Saga or hair that's weighed/sold by the ounces. I usually dnt reuse Saga but the weighed one I think I can reuse even though I've never used it before. Awon hair-experts oya give ur 2cents biko.

So we turned 50 few days ago, and every I looked ppl just kept complaining about how Nigeria is this, Nigeria that... which is true. And then talking about how there's nothing to celebrate about being 50. I beg to differ. America didn't become what it is today at 50, it took longer than that. I know that our country has more potential and growth opportunities than our leaders allow us to have. I know we have no light, no water supply, no infrastructure, no security, and I could go on and on. I don't support the elaborate spending, but we don't stop living just because we haven't achieved much success. And for those of us who want change we have to start from ourselves... how about being on time for things, not two - three hours late and smiling at our lack of reliability and saying it's "Naija time". The little things count, maybe then the world begin taking us seriously too.

Anyways that's all folks...hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead...may we all be blessed and highly favored this week.

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

...Double Anniversary...!!!

2010-09-26T04:50:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Darlings,

It's been a minute! It's been a really crazy week and it's about to continue with this week again, but I am grateful...I nor complain o.

So I'm not going to give a review of the NEAs becos I think I'm kinda late (:( sorry guys), and everybody else has already given y'all whatever gist there is. Nothing extra ordinary happened jare... But I got to meet a lot of people, bloggers, twitter family, old high-school friends, made new contacts...and got to take pics with awon celebs them, and party with them. I got to meet Neefemi, OriginalMgbeks, and Ray (I dnt know his blog link :(, but he is a regular on Verastic radioshow and my twitter paddy). I really wish I could put pics, but I'm not ready to loose my anonymity (of which I think my cover has been blown lol but make we dey look sha). Aside from the time delay, poor organization/production, and girl drama in the hall...I had a great night! Got home at about 5.15am.

In other news this September is a double anniversary month for me o. I started blogging Sept. 1st 2008! And three weeks after that day I reunited (via FB) with an old "friend" whom I had lost contact with since 2005. One thing led to another and today he is My Luv. *wink wink* Two years and counting...if anybody had told me things would have turned out the way they did, I would have sworn...impossible! Talk about drama, decisions and hurt...but we still dey o. For those who want to catch up on ur journey...feel free to indulge here:

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2008/10/man-drama.html

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2009/05/case-of-ex.html

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2009/05/letter-to-exlast-scene.html

http://undercover07.blogspot.com/2009/09/kiss-to-remember.html

There have been ups and downs but at the end of the day, the past two years have been good...really, really good. Neither one of us is perfect, but there's nothing like having someone who makes your happiness a priority...supports you...and takes steps towards improving himself and you. And even when we have our misunderstandings and I'm forming upset and all, my heart is secretly going pitter patter at the sound of his voice...his voice...*blushes* my Mother is convinced that that's what got me attracted to him before I started noticing his personality n' all...and I dnt doubt her...lol. Even my closest friend can testify to the...sexiness of his voice.

But all kidding aside, the one thing I've come to appreciate from this relationship is the manner in which we resolve issues, communicate and get through rough days. I used to think I communicated well in relationships, but ermmm no, I ddn't. But I'm learning to do so now, and even when I'm being a hard-nut his patience and genuine show of concern helps a lot. LDRs are NOT easy and sometimes they take a toll...but even with the rough days...I am grateful.

So today, I am thankful and appreciative of what I have, what we have... and I pray that the good Lord continues to order our steps and bless us.

Have a wonderful Sunday and week ahead me darlings!!! And for those of us praying and waiting for breakthroughs...He hasn't forgotten us.

Talk to you soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!

...Do You Promise to "Wash Pata"?

2010-09-17T14:23:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Darlings,
TGIF!!! This is the one day of the week that I have free to take care of my side gig, school work, and all what not. My schedule is tight...Mon/Wed - I have my internship. Tues/Thurs - I have school Fri/Sat - My PR side gig. It's busy but I like it becos it gives me little or no time to overly think, analyze or dwell on unhappy thots.

I'm currently laughing my behind off, thanks to the hot-topic on twitter right now. The question asked by our dear Juiceegal was "Would you wash your hubby's boxers/briefs?" The answers are just hilaxx...a lot of people say yeah, they'll put it in the wash but they won't hand-wash. Some say they won't, it is every man for himself so he shd put it in the wash himself. I am of the opinion that I don't mind hand-washing them or throwing them in the wash. I personally don't mind, but it's not like I'll do it religiously o...becos that's hw they become lazy and dnt do anything.

But note that washing his boxers and being the picture-perfect wifey will not keep him from straying if he wants to oo. One thing I know for sure tho is that the help will NOT be helping with any form of boxers/brief washing #thatisall.

So my last post had me talking about sabotaging something iLove. *sigh* It's been a really rough couple of weeks for My Luv and I. I've been in withdrawal/disconnect mode. And it's been confusing for the man. All my adult life, LDR is all I've known. And I gotta tell you it sucks! I knew what I was getting myself into, but these past couple of weeks I've just been tired. Tired of chatting online, of talking on the phone, of sending messages... I want to be able to talk to him while he's in front of me, I miss the hugs, the jokes, the gentle back rubs, quick side glances... I was just tired of the situation, and so I went into withdrawal. I kinda, sorta disconnected emotionally to not feel the hurt. Anyways, I'm slowly checking back in, and trying to "hang in there". But it is for such moments that I tell people LDR is NOT for everyone. *sigh* I'll survive, thanks for your kind words on my last post.

The NEAs are being held here in NY tomorrow! This is my first time attending, and I'm excited just be out all nicely dressed. And I get to meet a bunch of really nice people! I'm gonna see Neefemi! Anybody else who is going should pls shoot me an email: MsUndercover7@yahoo.com . I think I'll go for the after-party too...my couch potato behind needs to move to some good naija jams jare! And yeah I gotta network and make connections.

It is Fall and my favorite shows are all returning: Parenthood, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Castle, Dancing With the Stars.... still waiting on Brothers & Sisters.

Pls how do people wear high-heels to work, and then walk long distances in them? Heels weren't made for walking abeg. So everyone in my team at work taller than me (the whole world is taller than me lol) so I've been wearing heels to work and my feet are killing me! If I have an event or I'm going clubbing, I'm fine becos the distance is frm the house to the car, from car to venue of event and back to car again. But to wear heels to waka to bus-stop, train station and then home again...odikwa painful ooo. So for those that wear heels all week oya come and share ur tips.

Alrighty guys, off to the salon to get my hair washed n' blow dried so that I dnt look like 'ayamatanga' tomorrow. Have a faboosh weekend!!!

Hugs n' Kisses,
Miss Enigma!!!

Sabotage...

2010-09-11T17:37:00.001-04:00

Have you ever felt like you were sabotaging something so good, something you've been building and working on... Something that matters to you, that you cherish.

Somehow your actions and sudden lack of action seem to be slowly causing harm, and eating away at the foundation.

I can't even explain but right now I just feel like I am slowly ruining something I really cherish...*sigh*

Hope everyone is having a wonderful peaceful weekend!!!

PS: So this past week has been sorta kinda rough, and sorta kinda weird.
I've cried more in this one week, than I have since this year began. Been trying to figure it all out...why I'm in a mood? What or Who am I angry at? What am I worried about/scared of? What is it that I'm bottling inside that keeps resurfacing? What is it I want?

I'm sitting here watching reruns of Parenthood and am I'm bawling, and the tears just won't stop. I keep saying "I don't know, I don't know" but that's not good enough an answer *sigh*
Maybe my hormones are just messing with me or maybe, just maybe I'm tired and drained. I need strength and reassurance to keep going. Help me Lord because I need you.

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

100th Post??? Really???

2010-09-05T01:22:00.000-04:00

It's Labor Day weekend/ the final weekend of Summer and my ass is at home. Smh @ myself. At this rate I'm gonna age before my time *sigh* People are doing fun, interesting stuff and I'm sitting on my couch just... I've said it before I need to make new friends in this city and a fun mix. Its like there's a fun, bubbly human being tied down inside. *sigh* When I get in this mood, I hate being in an LDR more than anything. I want to travel, take road-trips, visit historical sites, try out new cuisine, take walks, go wine-tasting, see shows, take dancing lessons, go to the movies, go out for ice-cream, go out to dinner all dressed up... I want to create memories because at the end of the day that's all there is. And true I can do all these fun stuff with friends (and sometimes I do), but me and the girls are in diff. states so I dnt see them as often :(

Ok enuff of the Debbie Downer moment. So to shake off this annoying mood, I am going to the movies tomorrow, and yes I am going by myself #don'tjudgeme!!! It's movies, shopping, and ice-cream! I have a date with me! And then I'll come home and paint my nails for the week.

I want a drink right about now! My favorite cocktail is amaretto sour; love it cos its sweet and I dnt taste the alcohol as much. During send-off dinner for my friend few weeks ago, she introduced me to Moscato and I immediately fell in love. I like when a drink is sweet, the only thing is if u dnt intend on getting wasted then u gotta watch it if not it creeps up on u.

So in one of my classes we have to work in groups, and then pick group leaders. My class-mates nominated me to be leader, but I declined; what humbled me tho' was to hear them describe me as a natural leader. I was shocked, and humbled. It means a lot to me when ppl I work with or go to sch with speak of me like that. Probably the high-light of my week :)

So I was talking with another Nigerian at school, and we were talking about moving back home and all. And trying to convert the pay...so for an entry-level person let's say u make anywhere between 45-55k a year here in the Amerix, that's about 5.5 - 6.7 mill. naira a year in Nigeria (converting at 123 to a dollar). Wat are the chances of finding that kind of job when you move to Naija? I dnt know but I think it's hard o. Wat say you all? Wat's the salary range in Naija like pls who has info?

Lord! Soap operas are soo addictive and annoying. They stretch the story-line and milk it for all its got and just keep you in unnecessary suspense. But I'm kinda sorta addicted for now.

I haven't eaten a pizza in months! iWonder why? Should rectify that soon with a juicy slice of Hawaiian pizza.

I still haven't found the perfect or right fitted boots!

I need a new MP3 player, a Zune to be exact...been going everywhere without my music, and I miss it.

So is it okay for your cousins to date? Let me explain U have two cousins, one's your cousin from your father's side and the other from your mother's side...they are cousins as a result of ur parents marriage and not by blood. Is it too weird for them to be in like or start something?

Justin Bieber always has the same back-up dancers, so I'm guessing that means they travel with him...that's cool. You get to dance and perform in different cities and stay in really nice hotels.

Speaking of hotels. iLove hotel beds, pls note I said hotel not motel o! I like the soft bed-sheets and soft but heavy duvets that are so nice its like you're tucked into a cloud...and the soft fluffy pillows! Then all the towels nicely folded in the bathroom... I want a job where I'll get to travel and stay at hotels lol.

I cry at the littlest things sha...just watching tv, once someone starts tearing up, I'm a mess too...lol.

I have a Prof whose grading system is hilarious. He says for registering for the class, we all start off at a C grade, C = Colored, and then you do some of your work you move up to B, B= Blacks...and then if you do really well you move up to an A, A= Africans. It's a Black Studies class he says the human race race originated from Africa so regardless of whatever race we all might claim, we should know that our origin is Africa. Lol dude is hilarious!

Alrighty, I think I've done enough randoms for one night. I'm gonna go find something to eat 'cos I'm hungry. Enjoy the rest of the holiday, and take care guys! Like Banky W will say, Peace, Love and Chicken grease!

PS: Just realized that this is my 100th post!!! Two years blogging and I'm just getting to my 100th post...lol. Wow. Neways, just wanna say thank you to every follower, non-follower, commenter, and the lovely friends I've made on here. Thank you for taking the time to read, comment, advice and share in this journey; it means a lot to me...it really does. I'm hungry and sleepy so I'll do a real 100th post later. Muahz!!!

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

What's In Your Garden?

2010-08-29T16:21:00.000-04:00

For the garden of your daily living to blossom and yield fruit, it is important for you to do the following.

First come to the garden early when the dew is still fresh and then...

Plant THREE rows of PEAS-

- Peace of Mind

- Peace of Heart

- Peace of Soul

Plant FOUR rows of SQUASH

- Squash gossip

- Squash indifference

- Squash grumbling

- Squash selfishness

Plant FIVE rows of LETTUCE (Let us)

- Lettuce be faithful

- Lettuce be kind

- Lettuce be patient

- Lettuce be thankful

- Lettuce really love one another

No garden is without TURNIPS

- Turnip (Turn up) for meetings

- Turnip for service

- Turnip to help one another

To conclude our garden we must have Thyme (Time):

- Thyme for God

- Thyme for family

- Thyme for each other

- Thyme for friends

Water your garden frequently with Patience and cultivate with Love. There will be much fruit in your garden because your land is very fertile; but remember that you reap what you sow.

I got this little piece from church today...and decided to share with you all. Hopefully, it strikes a chord with someone and comes in helpful or handy.

Its another week down, and another week is about to begin. School started last week...and I'm just excited to finally be busy again. I'm happy I dnt have any early morning class...my first class starts @ 11am, and that's just perfect for me.

I'm beginning to have a new found respect for our Nigerian artists (not like I didn't before), because I'm realizing how hard it is to break into the industry and then be respected by your colleagues and fans alike. Getting your work out to the "who is who", and "important decision makers" is hard! Getting DJs to play your songs, getting bookings for events/appearances...when u're not so popular is difficult. Everybody wants to know what can you do for them...mean while as a new artist you don't have any money.

Summer is slowly saying its good-byes. Time to put away the rompers, dresses, shorts, sandals, skirts, bathing suits and all things summer. Will try and make the best of whatever sunlight is left.

Ok I'm soo hungry that my brain isn't functioning properly at the moment so I gotta go find food. But have a wonderful week ahead me luvlies. Go kick some ass in whatever you do.

And Happy Birthday to @Juiceegal...!!!

Talk to you guys soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!

Men + Relationships

2010-08-24T04:24:00.000-04:00

Hello there darlings...

How's everyone doing? Hope your week got off to a great start! And y'all are kicking ass at whatever you're doing. Shout out to Sting...like I said, just surround urself with God and positive energy, you'll be fine.

So the other day funmsdrebirth's post was asking if taking "breaks" in relationships are usually successful or do they lead to the death of the relationship. IMO I think it leads more to the death of the relationship (but there have been exceptions!)... But again, I was thinking what do you then do when a relationship seems to have hit that stage where the excitement level is running on low. And I'm not talking 3weeks into a rship...let's say 2,3,4,5, yrs into it. Do you take a break to try and "figure it out" or you stay together and try to find the spark again?

Is it possible to just wake up one morning after a couple of years and not be as crazy in love with your significant other as u were before? I mean you still care deeply about them but just not crazy in love. Where does the love go? Does the crazy in love feeling return? Where are my married, quarter to marry, in a serious relationship bloggers pls come and answer.

In other news, pls what kind of men is the world breeding nowadays? And what kind of crap/BS are girls condoning nowadays in the name of having a man. Since I'm not in the dating scene, I'm always excited to hear gist from my single friends...it's interesting to hear what's going on; what the new pick-up lines are, and the general lay of the land. But this summer ehn! the kind of nonsense behavior that awon guys were exhibiting was jst shocking. What happened to the days of basic courtesy and respect? As my friend will say if u can't handle basic human interaction how can you handle a relationship? Little things like calling when u can't make a date. Manning up and apologizing when you screw up, not trying to brush it off and ignore the issue. Trying to get a babe to lower her expectations and standards to suit their irresponsible behavior so that they do not have to be held accountable. Tsk tsk tsk...smdh! All these awon Wall Street, New York boys that feel like they are the ish, kmt!!!

In other news, my last semester in undergrad begins tomorrow. Thank you Lord!
So ermm...yeah its 4.30am and I haven't slept so this post is coming to an abrupt incoherent end...lol...bear with me biko. I know y'all understand.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!

I Was 800ft in the air...

2010-08-21T03:23:00.000-04:00

Hi Me Luvlies,

TGIF again!!! By this time last week, I was in Baltimore, Maryland having a fabulous weekend with the girls. We kicked off with partying @Lux Lounge on Friday, where Bobby Valentino just happened to be in the building. We couldn't get close enough to take pictures with him, but I'll tell you this...he looks just as good in person and his lips...hmmm...*fans self to calm down* We somehow bumped into Tony Rock (Chris Rock's brother) on the dance floor, and he was nice enough to let us take a picture with him. On Saturday we went to Six Flags, and seeing as I don't have the liver for roller-coasters, I jejely went to the WaterPark section and enjoyed the water rides...and even those can be scary o! And finally, on Sunday we went to the beach to chill...and to para-sail.

You should have seen the look of fear on my friend's face when we got on the boat...she looked like she wanted her Mommy...lol. We went 800feet high...and the view from up there is just humbling! We had a bonding/emotional moment up in the air...and spent a few mins in silence just savoring the moment. *sigh*

Back to reality, school begins next week and I am looking forward to it. Something to keep me busy, and on my toes again, because it seems I became lazy over the summer and I need to shake that off before its too late. :)

So you guys know my major is Advertising & Public Relations...and I've never mentioned this before but I've been kinda considering going into PR in the Nigerian industry; and I think I might just have gotten the opportunity to test the waters through an up and coming Nigerian artiste. It is all about networking, because its one thing to have a great product or brand, but you need people to make things happen. So I need to extensively expand my network of people, and begin building relationships in the industry. I'm not even gonna lie, I'll be needing as much help as I can get so if/when I come knocking on your doors for help please help a sister out!

Have you ever felt "checked out" before...you know when you are physically there but not mentally, and emotionally present in something anymore and you just can't explain why? I had that feeling for a couple of days...like everything was just bleh. Even my tone of voice was hollow. No excitement, no emotions...nothing. Ok am sure this isn't making sense...neways I'm trying to check myself back in o cos I dnt like being "checked out". Whatever that means...

I need a good pair of boots for the fall/winter. Good leather or really good faux leather boots. My problem with boots is the calves; my poor skinny legs can't fill the huge boots, even when I wear them with skinny jeans...there's still space *sigh* I want boots!!!!

Am I the only person who gets excited when they take their weave out? I'm always so happy to see my hair. And rather than straighten the hair immediately, I just let it air dry after washing/retouching and wear it as 'shuku' for a while (about a week or two). *runs hand thru hair wiv a smile* #dontjudgeme I missed my hair jorr...lol

So yeah the other day at the club, I'm sitting down sipping on my amaretto sour and whining on the stool, having a good time with my friends, and this guy who had asked me to dance earlier, but I declined, was dancing with another girl next to me. Wats the problem u ask? Well as this dude was dancing (more like just standing and collecting grind) he was using his other hand to try and hold me, and still get my attention! Meanwhile the girl he was dancing with was working hard, putting her back into it not knowing that the yeye boy was not focused on her hardwork...tsk tsk. Men ehn! smdh! I had pursue him away before the girl go talk say na me wan thief her man...I no fit for akata girls and their wahala... because when those girls vex ehn, dem dey madt!!!!

In other news, Gidilounge now has a radio station! I was listening to it while I was @ work the other day, and I was just hearing new new jamz that had me partying in my cubicle. If u haven't been on there...u definitely should check it out!

Am I the only one who has noticed that this year is going by FAST! Yes yes I know some days drag on...but guys...it's Aug 21st already like play, like joke!

My blog anniversary is September 1st! My blog will be TWO years old! Can't believe for two years now, I've been sharing and rambling with you all *sniff sniff* My 100th post is about 3 or 4 posts away too... How should I celebrate ooo?

Aight it's 3.18am and I haven't slept! Meanwhile I have to be at my cousins birthday party later today. They are twins and they turn TWO today...very lovely girls!

Have a great weekend ahead my luvlies! Thanks for stopping by!

Talk to you soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!

Checking In

2010-08-09T03:36:00.000-04:00

Hi Luvlies,

Hope everyone had a peaceful and fun weekend, and nobody got into any unnecessary trouble. My weekend was pretty laid back, and chilled. The past week was horrible thanks a strep throat/throat infection that returned and made my life miserable. Couldn't swallow, couldn't open my mouth to brush well, lymph nodes were swollen and the swelling began to affect my ear so that hurt too...like mad! It got so bad I cried; and I ddn't go to work. So I was indoors from Sunday up until Saturday when there was significant relief. *sigh*
Anyways since I was still in recovery my friend and I didn't do much...we went shopping and then went to see a comedy show and had a few drinks. All in all it was a peaceful weekend.

Looking forward to wrapping up the summer break with a trip to Ocean City (Maryland) later this month. I want go para-sailing and jet-skiing...and enjoy the beach before school begins.

Just painted my nails powder blue...iLove it. Dnt u hate it when u can't find stuff u need becos someone moved it from it's usual spot? Yeah me too...can't find my polish remover and I know it was on my dresser *sigh*

Jennifer Hudson is looking hot in her new look o! Kudos to her!

Can't wait for the new season of Grey's Anatomy and Brothers and Sisters, all these other shows are boring me more than I need to be.

I wonder what H&M is waiting for...why don't they have an online store? I need recommendations for online stores with good deals too. It sucks to be on a strict strict budget, but I'm ready to allow my inner fashion lover out, and try out new interesting pieces and colors too. My wardrobe is very safe and predictable...but not anymre. So pls drop recommendations for me...thanks!

My recent guilty pleasure...looking at apartments for rent. Day dreaming of having my own space. Temporary escape...lol.

My BB has been acting up...freezing for a few seconds, and having delayed response.

Drama. Everyone claims not to like drama, but I think some people secretly do, they live for it. U have issues with someone and u come to me and make a huge stink about it only for u to be kissing the person's ass later... Man up or Shut up!

It's 3am and I can't sleep...who sent me to sleep all through the evening?

Some people need to be smacked silly. Wearing leggings or tights with colored underwear is a no- no. Even though the leggings or tights might be black in color when u wear it, it stretches and becomes see thru. Ladies pls pls take note, wear a top that covers ur behind; and last time I checked, camel toes are not trendy so pls dnt torture ppls eyes abeg.

I just realized that my 100th post is around the corner! Woot woot! I'm just glad for all of you that stop by to read, and the friends I've made...and that's what I'll be celebrating; but if anyone has any idea as to how to celebrate my 100th post pls leave a comment.

Now off to find some zzzzzz...
Have a fabulous week ahead my luvlies... Wear a smile and live in the moment because life has no rewind button, only memories to reminiscence on.

Love you all bunches...

Talk to you soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!!!

Random Thoughts In My Head

2010-07-30T16:46:00.000-04:00

Hi My Luvlies...

TGIF again...the year is definitely going by fast! Like joke, like joke summer is almost over.

I've been lying in bed all day and random thoughts have been running through my head, now that I picked up my lappy, they've all disappeared. Anyways, hop in and let's take a ride through random lane in my head.

- I'm glad u guys liked my short story and attempt at reviving my writing abilities. I'll do my best to continue the story, and I am very open to suggestions, and ideas as to what directions you think the stories should take. Thank you.

- Remember I mentioned in my last post that I had some stuff on my mind...so the other day I was being weighed down and just feeling low, and someone reached out to me :) I had been trying to be strong and all, I'm one to not lyk to bother ppl but she said "I want to be there for u" and I jst broke down and balled (I ddn't tell her I was crying o, nw she knws lol) and she didn't say much, jst a few reassuring words and the fact that someone reached out...was enough for me. Thanks Ms.O!!!

- I've been having mood swings like what I don't know! Not sure if its the effect of Aunty Flo being around or just my usual mood swings coupled with the fact that I have ish on my mind that I jst can't shake off right now.

- I am reading Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" for the second time. I need certain things to register in my head again.

- They say find something u love doing, and find a way to get paid for it...ermm I don't know what I enjoy doing that I can be paid for. I enjoy things that are Advertising/Public Relations related, iLike to write, iLove to shop, iLike to decorate (part of the reason I cnt wait to have my own place), iLike organizing ...so u see I dnt knw :(

- I like my personal space...and sometimes I just want to be quiet, be by myself with my laptop, phone, tv remote and not be disturbed. Sme ppl think this is weird and can't understand it...and I cnt explain it either. #kanyeshrug

- Never be afraid or hesitant to ask questions. You have a right to know, and to keep asking until u get a satisfactory answer or answers. Dnt brush things off, or second guess urself. Something happened that jolted me back to my senses for a minute...and I realized I was holding back on asking questions. Big Mistake!!! I will be asking questions from here on...no holding back.

- Everyone seems to asking if I'm going to move back after graduation...and the answer is nope. If I'm going to move back there has to be a good enough reason for me to move. Good job, security and stability and a plan. I'm not moving to go and sit down at home and be looking at Uche's face...lol.(that line cracks me up).

- Why is it easier for girls to be just friends with guys than for guys to be just friends with girls??? (I'll dedicate a whole post to this) Why can't we just be friends, without complicating things?

- Chances of me going to Naija for Christmas or New Year are about 80 - 20; 80 being me not going. It is what it is.

- Why are guys such jerks?!! You meet a guy and in the space of two weeks u go on a couple of casual dates, and after a lil'tiff u just never call back. Like really? Mscheww

- What's with all these Mothers committing murder and suicide??? If u're so tired and frustrated with life and u want to kill yourself, that's your own cup of tea but why kill your innocent children??? How do you slit your child's throat and set the house on fire??? What do you say when you appear before God? I just can't wrap my head around it.

- This cold/flu is so annoying. Congestion. Headache. Tiredness. Arggghhh!

- It sucks when you care and worry about other people so much, and you have their best interests at heart, only to discover that they are not as concerned about themselves as you are for them. I dnt blame those who have fully adopted the "I'm gonna just do me" attitude...I think I'm moving in that direction.

- Dating is fun, but it is also work. Going on dates, thinking of things to talk about, trying to make sure the guy doesn't cross the line (whatever that means), trying not to get attached too early, juggling the different guys...*sigh* WORK!

- You can never please everyone. Trying to please everyone you end up hurting yourself. You either love me or leave me alone.

- Settling. How do you know when you're settling??? Why do we settle???

Ok I this is getting too long, but oh well. Gotta go shower and get ready to have a good time. It's friday and rather than stay home and sulk at all the things might not be going oh so great, I choose to go out have a good time. It was Zena's birthday yesterday and we're going out downtown to celebrate. Have a wonderful weekend ahead me luvlies.

Thanks for reading this space...it means a lot to me!!!!

Talk to you soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!

iWrite: Passionate Hunger

2010-07-26T09:26:00.000-04:00

8.10PM that was what the clock in the hallway said as Ava walked in. She had left the office at 6.40PM and thanks to the usual end of day traffic and a bumper to bumper accident on the high-way, she spent over an hour on what should have been a fifteen minute drive home. Oh well, she was home now, and couldn't wait for her back to hit the bed. Just thinking about getting out of her clothes and laying down brought a little smile to her face. "Hey..." she wasn't expecting him home; they had had an argument yesterday and had both gone to bed mad. By morning she was out the house before he got out of the shower. She thought he was going to hangout longer with the guys to avoid having to talk.

"Hi..." Vinny replied, as his eyes stared her down from head to toe wondering if she had had a presentation or client meeting at work today or was she just dressed to torture him. It was night but she looked like she just got dressed to leave for the day. Her hair was pulled back in a pony-tail, her purple shirt nicely shaping the mounds of her D cup breasts, and her black skirt was short and above her knee teasingly showing off the attractiveness of her thighs without being indecent. Her make-up was minimal, no eye-shadow just eye-liner, blush to accentuate her cheeks and lip-gloss. She had on the black crocodile leather shoes he got her weeks ago, he liked the way her butt looked whenever she wore heels...and right now he liked what he was seeing. If he had seen her before she left the house, he definitely wouldn't have focused on work all day. Damn! She looked good.

"Vinny, Vinny...turn off the lights before you come upstairs", and with that Ava grabbed her pocket-book off the island and went upstairs to settle in. He had been lost in thought, and didn't notice that she had heated-up the dinner she picked up from the African Restaurant on her way from work, and placed it in a try beside him. Few minutes before Ava had walked into the house, he was just muttering to himself how hungry he was but now, now with her perfume still lingering in the kitchen and images of all the things she used to do to him and him to her running around in his head, Vinny's appetite was craving something else. It had been weeks since they got busy, all because of some silly fight over...over what he couldn't even remember at the moment. Geez! In one swift move, he was bounding up the stairs three steps at a time. As he got to the top of the stairs he realized he forgot to turn off the lights, but oh well it was too late. The lights could wait. His hunger couldn't.

....................................................................................................................
Hi My Lovelies,
I keep saying I'll revive my passion for writing but somehow I never get around to it, so this my weak attempt *hides face* Let me know what you think. Hope everyone had a great weekend, I didn't. Its funny how an argument misunderstanding with someone can just drown ur plans and put u in a mood *sigh* It's all good.

I don't have any major plans for the week ahead...and as usual when I'm not busy I think. A couple of things I've been trying not to worry about are now resurfacing, but I commit everything into His able hands, because I believe he is the Master-planner. And He knows my beginning from the end, and that the plans He has for me are of good and not of evil. I do have to admit though, that at times my faith wavers, but I no get anybody else but my God.

I hope you all have a great, successful week ahead! Be the best YOU, you can be. And don't be strangers...send me emails and keep in touch!

Talk to you guys soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!

Therapy Meme

2010-07-17T02:01:00.000-04:00

Hello Blogsville,

Am sure everyone is glad the weekend is here...I am too. Nothing new is happening at my end...no crazy plans this weekend, a barbecue party tomorrow and a day at the waterpark/beach on Sunday. Just chilled and laid back.

#My2cents on the Wande Coal situation. As at yesterday I was of the opinion that WC and his crew should get a good PR team and tackle the situation head-on, rather than go into hiding or trying to lay low for a while. I was also of the opinion that he shd be able to laugh at the situation because a lot of pp will be milking every joke they can out of it, and the earlier you can laugh at yourself the better so that everything can just go away and return to life as usual. But after reading the so-called press release that his camp put out, I have to say I am not impressed at all...Denying that that isn't him? Really? Denial will just make it linger more am sorry. We all saw how Tiger Woods tried to deny and sweep his own case under the carpet and ermm it ended up blowing up in his face. Neways good luck to WC and whoever it was that decided to just mess him up like this, is wicked sha!

So I'm kinda in a blogging mood but no topic comes to mind at the moment so I've decided to do that meme that I think Sting started...hope you guys enjoy.

Right now I'm feeling ...excited becos My Luv just came online and I get to chat with him; talking to him always brings me joy :)

When I'm alone I feel like ...I feel like I'm alone and sometimes I enjoy my me time, other times I want company.

When I'm surrounded by people ...it depends on who I'm surrounded by; but usually I like to talk, gist and have a good time especially since I don't go out often...so when I have ppl around I try to enjoy the moment.

One thing I hate is ...untidiness, laziness and free-loaders (sorry I have 3 things)

One thing I really like about myself is ...my ability to make people and loved ones laugh and smile...iLove when people are happy, it makes me happy...and iLike that I am able to adapt to situations...if its to soak garri, I'll soak and when its time to eat filet mignon, I can eat that too. :)

When I'm feeling sad ...I go thru a series of moods;from sadness, to anger, to avoiding the emotions, then tears, then sadness, tears and then sunshine :) When I'm sad I criticize and blame myself for everything including things past sef...then I slowly try to tlk myself out of it. *sigh*

When I daydream it's usually about ...Lol graduating, getting a good job, getting my apartment, settling down; I'm constantly daydreaming of the day this LDR will end...I've created different versions of how it'll happen...daydream about it so much I almost think its real smetimes *sigh* Distance sucks balls!!!

I'm afraid of ...of going through what she went through...I refuse to patch patch, and settle...I want the best, or as close to it as possible.

I'm happiest when ...I am with my whole family, they make me feel loved and appreciated...when I am with My Luv, he makes me laugh and feel special.

One thing that really worries me is ...what does my future hold, and that of my own family (husband and kids)

If I could change one thing about myself it would be ...my anger...I let it get the best of me sometimes, and even when I say I'm over something...I'm still in a moody state and it tkes a while b4 I'm able to totally shake it off.

If I could be with anyone right now, I would be ...with My Luv.

The family member I'm closest to is ...My darling Mom...she's my bestie tohh bahddd. Been there through thick and thin, sacrificed so much for me, my #1 cheer-leader...and even when I screw up she dsn't judge! It dnt get no better.

If I was really honest with my Mother I would tell her...that she deserves better, much much better...but we can't take back the past so from here on, she'll get only the best.

One thing I regret about my life is ...hmmm I usually dnt dwell on my mistakes long; but if I cld do have a do over, I wld have been more serious during my freshman and sophomore years...I had no excuse having mediocre grades.

If I only had one more day to live I would... I would spend it with loved ones, and also with God.

If I was really honest with my father I would tell him ...You don't miss your water until the well runs dry...and by the time you do, it'll be too late. Also, I miss what used to be, what could've been...but life goes on.

One thing about me that nobody knows is ...Hmmm...if I told you, I'd have to kill you *wink*

I hope that Someday in the future...I hope for a lot of things oo...I jst hope that I live a fulfilled life, and make an impact in the lives of those I come across.

When I think about my family I feel ...Blessed. On top of the world. Loved. From aunties, to uncles, grandma, sister, inlaws, cousins, nephews...chaii...I am blessed.

Something I'm really embarrassed about is ...I laugh off my embarrassing moments and so they just are funny moments not embarrassing ones...lol.

One thing about me I never want to change is ...my ability to connect with my emotions...even tho I get mad at myself for being too emotional smetimes, I'm glad I am...I'd rather be able to feel than not feel at all.

One thing I feel really proud of is ...just howfar I've come in life...I dnt have a wall of awards, but I'm just happy with my continuous growth as an individual. Proud of my Mom too.

Blogsville has helped me to ...make virtual friends, (even though I'm still shy to make friends, jst incase it dsn't work out...dnt wanna be judged), helped me be mre grateful for my life, helped me be hopeful and believe in myself more.

One thing I like about blogsville is ...my somewhat anonymous state, the beauty in how our lives are so different, but yet so similar...the feeling belonging and community.

So yeah this is somewhat therapeutic...makes you think about stuff. Hope you enjoyed getting to knowmore about my weird self...my friends say I'm weird, I dnt agree :)

Have a great weekend guys...luff you!

Talk to you guys soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!

My List of Dislikes

2010-07-12T01:03:00.001-04:00

Hi B'ville,
Hope everyone had a great weekend!!! Sorry I couldn't put up pics for my last post...laziness to upload from my camera and phone...if u want pics of the reunion pls head-over to Ms.O's blog after reading this post.

So this weekend I really didn't do much...spent Saturday bonding with my Mom. My Mom, myself and my friend B went on spa date, and we all got the deep-tissue full-body massage, with hot stones. *sigh* all the kinks and knots were loosened and we felt soo relaxed. When the alarm went off at the end of the hour we cldn't believe it...we wanted another hour...it was soo relaxing. After that, we went to see Karate Kid. It's a good movie! If you haven't seen it I suggest you should...That Jaden Smith of a boy is gonna break hearts..chai...he is such a cutie. Lord pls give me good looking children!!! My Mom stayed awake for the entire movie...that's how good the movie was. All in all we had a good day!

So I was doing the dishes a few mins ago and began thinking of all my lil'pet-peeves and thought to share:
- I hate when dirty dishes in the sink are not organized. Like the flat plates at the bottom and then the bowls on top. Yes yes I knw they are dirty dishes but it dsn't mean the sink shd look a hot mess. It shd still look decent.

- I dnt understand why ppl dnt throw the left-overs from their plates in the thrash b4 putting the plates in the sink. Why block the drain with grains of rice, chicken bones, vegetables and all sorts and then make me or someone else have to put their hand in the mess to clean out the drain.

- In a shared space, I dnt like when ppl dnt put their shoes/footwear nicely in the corner or designated area. Why make an unsightly mess or heap of shoes in open eyeview...if its in ur closest thats ok but by the door-way, or in the corner...pls put ur foot-wear in order. Not like a local face me I face you (if u dnt knw what face me I face you means...let me knw) house entrance.

- When I stay in a hotel with a bunch of other people, I dnt like the way people throw their stuff around. Yes we r on a vacation/trip but keep some form of order. Dnt throw ur stuff around and then half ur suit-case is in my space; then both of us cnt find our stuff. Or everytime I walk around I am literally stepping on ur stuff. That's wat the closet, and drawers were put there for. Put ur stuff away. And please use the thrash can dnt leave food on the floor!

- I dnt like mixing forks, spoons and knives together in that dish thing that sits on the kitchen counter. I like putting knives and forks together and spoons seperately. #dntjudgeme

- I can't stand untidy beds. Its ok if u r packing for a trip or just did laundry and so there clothes on the bed. But an untidy bed 24/7 is a no-no. I like making my bed b4 leaving the house so that it is cool to lay on after a hard days work/school. Does that mean I mke it everyday..no, there are days when u wake up late and have to dash out of the house.

- I'm not a fan of disorderly kitchen cabinets. I like having all the ingredients/spices nicely lined up facing forward. And everything in order not just all over the place.

- I dnt understand why ppl have to slam things shut. Car doors, toilet lid, kitchen cabinets, laptops... U kip slamming it and its gonna fall apart soon. It dsn't hurt to hold on for a sec longer and close it gently.

- Hate seeing bread crumbs in the tub of butter, jam or peanut-butter...

- I dnt understand hw ppl shower and then there's water all over the bath-room floor and they walk away without cleaning it up...and they expect someone else to use the same bath-room. Come on use the shower curtain and clean up after urself! This isn't boarding house where such is acceptable.

- I dnt like when ppl brush their teeth and leave clumps of paste in the bath-room sink. Pls clean up after urself.

- I dnt like when ppl slurp soup or tea...why do you have to make that sound?

So there you have it...these are a few of my personal pet-peeves...and looking at the list I think I like a lot of order and an organized environment...lol. Now I understand why people didn't like me much in my first year in high-school. *kanyeshrug* I can't help it, I grew up in a house where My Dad is so organized and big on neatness and tidy surroundings. From his wardrobe to his journals, to his work-table, everything was in order. My Dad's writing gan sef...cursive and neat...my sis and I both have really nice handwritings too.

So what are your own pet-peeves? Please share...I enjoy reading such.
Have a wonderful week ahead my lovelies!!! Be the best YOU can be in whatever you do. Take risks, try out new things/experiences...live life...smell the roses...appreciate the beautiful sunset/sunrise...take a few mins to people watch...take a few mins to just listen, you'll learn a lot more than when you talk. Lastly in all you try to make sure you include Baba God.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!!!

A Night With Mr. Capable

2010-07-09T01:18:00.001-04:00

Hello B'ville...

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes...I had a quiet day, nothing overly exciting but it was my day, and I was surrounded with people I love, who love me back unconditionally *sigh* I think the highlight of the day was my 4 yr old nephew singing Happy Birthday to me over the phone...brought tears to my eyes...I miss my nephews soo much!

Ok so I know everyone has given their own account of the Nigerian Reunion weekend (NRC) but I haven't. I only attended Sunday's events; even though I live in NY, I wasn't really interested in the other events. I attended Sunday's event for 3 main reasons:
- Banky W
- Banky W
- Banky W and the others...
If you don't know, know it now...I am his biggest fan...chai! As my birthday present my darling Ms.O hooked me up! I got to meet him in person *blushing uncontrolably* *sigh* I got to hug him, talk to him, take a pic wiv him. Call me a groupie, I dnt mind...for him I'll be a groupie. Even at the after-party performance, my friends and I were front and center infront of the stage and he sang to us...we were up close and personal...am sure I am officially a stalker in his books now sef...lol...and now he's following me on twitter *faints*

Neways, there were a whole bunch of other Naija celebs at the Comedy/Awards show...but I have to give the comedians thumbs-up. They had me in stitches...BasketMouth killed it mehn...I will definitely be going for any other show he headlines...other comedians were ComedyJedi (he has a single called LasGidi Boy...iLike), Seyi Brown, Mrs. Omokorede and cnt remember the last person sha. Ramsey Nouah is a fine man sha oo...dude looks good(except that he's beginning to go bald, someone shd buy him Rogaine STAT).

So ermm Mr. Dele Momodu was there and pitching his presidency campaign...hmmm IMO I understand that we need a change in Nigeria, and we've had enough but what I really dnt understand is what is he (D.Momodu) bringing to the table? Why should I or anyone else vote for him? What experience has he had that will help him in running a nation such as ours? He speaks of change...what are his plans for the country? We're tired of 7 point agendas and what nots that never see implementation not to talk of fruition. What is his plan? How does he intend to go about bringing this change? Bad-mouthing past rulers is not enough, that's immature and irrelevant to the jobless graduate...Mr. Dele Momodu what do you bring to the table??? Running an international magazine is great! But I dnt think its enough. Yes Obama gingered and inspired the youth in AMerica, BUT he spoke of things that he would do...pls dnt just try and use the Nigerian youth base, give us something to work with.

So it seems as if all the correct Naija boys are either extinct, or they do not attend Naija related events or they were being held hostage somewhere because the kind of boys/men that I saw this weekend...odi kwa very sketch and patch patch. Infact u can't even patch with the ones I saw chei! PS: I am not on the market, but at least it wld have been nice to make friends and find someone that you can have sensible conversations with. And for my friends that are on the market...no potentials whatsoever at all. As we walked into the lobby of the hotel, it was as if we were back at Tejuosho market. You knw hw those traders hassle u,"Aunty come na", "I get wetin u dey find", dragging your hand and trying to tap current that will electrocute them...that was our experience o! Shuoo! When I enter cab na Long Island I been talk o, but y do I feel like I just landed Naij...lol.

Their pick-up lines sef na wa. "Abeg just give me 3mins make I take toast you"...lol..."Let's network in my room upstairs", "The show hasn't started you can wait in my room"...smh. The heavy accents, mouth/body odor, and general agbero appearance was not even helping matters. I bet you the workers at the hotel will refuse to host any Naija event again. Guys were just hanging in the lobby, loitering like correct area boyz...lol.
And my beloved Naija babes...pls pls lace-front is NOT for everybody naa...and una no dey look mirror??? I no fine o, but at least I dey manage look mirror before I comot house to make sure say I no embarass myself. And why wear white, full covered kpata under a white dress? Why? Shey black thongs have finish for market ni? ok o. I no talk again.

Pls why is it that we always reject our own??? Our artistes and performers come on stage and we all stand and stare like someone sucked the life out of us...mschew. But when a foreigner gets on the same stage we show 'em love. Put urself in their shoes, how wld u want ur fans to react towards u? A stage performance is not one-way, it's two-way...the artiste feeds off the audience's excitement and it takes a lot to get on stage infront of loads of people and perform. Please don't take them for granted...the state of our economy and our international reputation is not really at its best, so support the industry that is managing to put us in positive light. Did I tell you that M.I KILLED his performance...his first in the US and he repped WELL. He accused me of raping him with my eyes...lol...yeah I was that close to the stage. #goodtimesmehn.

All in all, I had a GREAT weekend! Did I tell you I met Mr. Capable himself??? Oh yeah I did...my bad...lol.

Please go and vote ooo...Nigerian Blog Awards...MOST ANONYMOUS BLOGGER...show a sister some luv biko nu...as belated bday present go and vote...oya go there now.
http://nigerianblogawards.com/

Thank you...!

Have a great weekend ahead my lovelies...and thank you for being you.

Talk to you guys soon,
xoxo,
Miss Enigma!!!

A Year Older

2010-07-07T05:14:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to Me. My Dear Blogfam join me in thanking the Almighty Father for another year, and another opportunity to continue to learn and grow. Thank you Lord for life!

So, today I'm a year older and for once I'm beginning to actually feel older. I remember when I turned 18 I thought I had responsibilities then...lol..then I entered my twenties and thought 21 was awesome but now even that is beginning to seem like a distant memory...smh. A while back I was getting ready for work and my Mom said "My daughter is now a woman"...It was like she had just had an "Aha" moment or coming to terms with the fact that her baby is not a baby anymore *sigh*

All in all, I am grateful for my life and for the people in it. I am also grateful for the people who have walked through my life... It's about 4.40am and the messages are still coming in...the calls from family members and loved ones a reminder that I matter, and I am loved. Honestly, I can't even complain about anything... All I can say is that He has been merciful and faithful towards me.

Few hours ago I was moody and just totally low in spirit but now I refuse to spend my day wallowing in unnecessary moodiness!!! I have no plans to party or anything, did enuff this past weekend, but I'm gonna be a cheerful, happy-camper today because it is my day and it happens only once in a year. I am excited an anxious for the remaining half of the year and what is to come.

I am too happy and hot ( the heat na die oo) to type a coherent post. The heat is on another level...chei! All of us in my apartment are sleeping in birthday suits oo. When u step out it's like u r on the grill...I respect awon construction workers and fire-fighters who wear heavy clothing to work in such heat. I almost want to join the little kids playing in the open fire hydrant...it looks sooo refreshing!

Aiight people...please stay hydrated biko nu. Its not only old people and children that suffer from heat exhaustion. Even animals are dying from it. Have a lovely day, and erm don't forget that voting has started for NIGERIAN BLOG AWARDS!!!!

PLS GO AND VOTE FOR ME (as a birthday pressie) MOST ANONYMOUS BLOGGER

Here's the link below:

http://nigerianblogawards.com/

Thank my lovelies...

Talk to you soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!

Currently Playing: Great Is Your Mercy - Donnie McClurkin

JULY = SPECIAL

2010-07-01T02:33:00.000-04:00

Hello B'ville...

HAPPY NEW MONTH to each and every one of you! This is my favorite month of the year, because it's my birthday month. July babies are special...I just know it that there's something special (in a good way) about us :).

July also signifies the beginning of the second half of the year, and it is a time to re-evaluate our goals and plans for the year, and our lives in general. We normally set goals at the beginning of the year, or make New Year resolutions and mid-way through the year it is important to pull-back and look at those goals and plans again. How much have I achieved? What has been the result of changes I made? Am I happy with how much I've accomplished? Have I accomplished anything at all? Am I still making mental plans and to-do lists without physically taking action? What's the next step? How do I catch up on what I've been slacking on? These are all questions we need to ask ourselves.

I think living one's life without a plan is a bad idea, and I also think making mental plans in ur head without any action is just setting oneself up for failure. Make a move, do something, things don't just happen we have to make them happen...God doesn't come down from heaven to do things. *sigh* I dnt want to go into a rant so I'll stop here.

So yeah, the Nigerian Reunion is this weekend and it is going down in NY. Yup you heard me...it is going down! Meeting up with the wonderful Ms.O and I'm excited.

More exciting news...so I finally got the clearance I needed for my foreign language requirement...so guess who gets to graduate in December??? Me!!! Hopefully everything is smooth sailing from here. It's funny how one change has a domino effect, and can lead to a total change in plans and all. So now I hve to start deciding what my after-graduation plans are- get a full-time job or grad school or NYSC in Naija. My Mom is supportive of all three, but suggested the last option for "so you guys can decide what you wanna do" reasons, but I'm skeptical about moving back home right now, not sure how I feel yet...topic for another day sha.

It is hard for us humans to be 100% satisfied...we always have something that we are insecure about. Big, small, tall, short, black, white...we always feel something ain't right. I'm have a really small figure and even though I get compliments and all I still have my insecure days or days that I just dnt love me so much. So two days ago I went shopping and had one of those days I dnt like my size days. I knw a lot of people might say why the hell are skinny b*****s complaining, but when u're 4'11 and a size 0, shopping is not always fun. A small is too big to fit right, too long length wise...*sigh* Why can't I just pick a dress off the rack and not even need to try it on? Why can't I be a 2,4,6...what is 0? smh...

I feel like I'm entering into a new phase in my relationship...I dnt know if I can put it in words yet, but when I can I will...it feels like a slightly more serious, more committed phase or a building the blocks to lay a foundation phase...infact I dnt knw what I'm saying...when I can, I'll properly explain...but it's making me do a lot of thinking of late. Aside from that things are great!

So yeah, everyone's been expressing disappointment about P-Square's outfit to the BET awards...I on the other hand, didn't see anything wrong with it. We all know the twins know how to wear a suit, and can wear it well...but I say why wear a suit and then blend in like everyone else? It's the freaking BET awards, they were nominated for an award...in the words of Oga 9ice "they are not people, they are stars" and you either go BIG or go home jare. When Lady Gaga wears atrocious clothing two things happen, we either commend her for taking it to the extreme or we disagree with her choice, but guess what? she gets us talking. So I'm glad the twins got people talking...if ppl at the awards see two guys in green outfits, they'd be like "Who are those guys?" and maybe someone will say "they are the Nigerian artistes nominated for Best International Act, but if they blended in with black suits, no one wld notice...so I say carry go my guys! I support! If you didn't like the outfit its aiight...but free the guys..."E no easy" to be nominee.

Shout out to my fellow blogger and friend (I'm hoping I can call u friend...lol...my online friend) at THE HUT for campaigning for me!!! Don't forget to vote, beginning July 5th...cast your vote for me for MOST ANONYMOUS BLOGGER :). And please visit THE HUT and show her blog some love, you won't regret it. :)

I had a couple other things I wanted to blog about but my memory fails me right now...*old age* lol. Neways, have a great day ahead and just incase I dnt put up a post before the weekend, have a WONDERFUL weekend my lovelies...make the best of every moment, and remember that time waits for NO ONE. Opportunities do not wait for you, if you dnt make the move someone else will. Get ur behind moving people!!!

Please DO NOT DRINK and DRIVE and DO NOT ALLOW A FRIEND DRIVE DRUNK!!! They don't sell lives in the market...

Talk to you guys soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!

NOMINEE: MOST ANONYMOUS BLOGGER

2010-06-29T02:24:00.000-04:00

Hey Blogsville,

So I woke up yesterday and a tweety bird told me that I got nominated!!! Yours truly was nominated for MOST ANONYMOUS BLOGGER...*does a lil' dance* Thank you to all those who took the time out to think of me, and then nominate me (Gee!!!)...I appreciate it. I have very wonderful bloggers in that category...and so it doesn't end here, the work begins...CAMPAIGNING!!!!

My beloved people of B'ville...the loyal residents and constituents of this great community, I implore you to please vote for me :) and encourage/coerce/bribe/manipulate/ (do whatever u possibly can) all those you know, to vote too. What do I have to give in exchange for this wonderful gesture? Ermmm...my continuous loyalty to the community, and sharing with you my sometimes interesting and sometimes not so interesting life experiences and gist sha...lol.

And if the above reason isn't good enough...then just for the fact that it's my birthday in about 9 days, should be enough motivation for you to vote abi? Come on make a sister's day and put a smile on my face...and even though I'm anonymous I promise to take a pic of my wonderful smile and post on here, if I win.

So I'm sure by now you get the koko of this post...it is simply VOTE MISS ENIGMA FOR MOST ANONYMOUS BLOGGER!!!!!!!!!!

Visit here:http://nigerianblogawards.com/group-b/presenting-the-group-b-category-nominees/#comments

PS: Pls feel free to campaign for me on my behalf...muahz!!!

Eating Vomit + Randoms

2010-06-27T14:39:00.000-04:00

Hi Blogsville,

How's everyone enjoying the weekend? Hope u're enjoying the HOT weather and having a gud time.

Thanks for all the comments on my last post...much appreciated. Talking about comments, Sting did a poll the other day about ppls views on blog owners replying comments and I was just wondering too if u guys would like me to reply ur comments on my posts, I dnt want ppl to think me not replying means I dnt care for ur comments cos I look forward to them big time. Also on comments, whats up with all these ppl who leave comments in Chinese abi na Japanese??? For crying out loud how am I supposed to understand what u're writing? Am I the only person who gets such comments???

It's my birthday in 10 days, and I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm normally excited about my b'day but this year, I'm not as uber-excited as I normally am...could it be getting old syndrome?lol...or brokage (the act of being broke) that's causing this? Neways, my friends will be around next weekend so we'll make the best out of it. We're attending the Naija Reunion concert and I'm majorly excited for that 'cos BankyW will be performing!!!! If u dnt knw, knw now that I have a huge crush on that man...e dey do me strong ting!lol

Went to Karaoke with Zena yesterday and had a blast! We went to this new karaoke bar in the city called U2 Karaoke Bar, it is run by Asians and the decor and setting is so cool...techno-lights, really nice individual rooms and ish, will definitely be going there again before the summer is over.

So I jst read on twitter that M.I (Mr. Incredible) just booked an interview with Wendy Williams...I'm soo excited and happy for him. It's always a good thing when our own breaks barriers and are recognized...it gives me joy! At least if we cldn't rep for soccer that we claim to love, let us rep for our music industry.

#Random I was waiting for the train the other day and somehow got into a conversation with some old guy, only to find out he is the father of Essence Atkins, the actress. She has been in a couple of movies and series like Half & Half, Deliver Us from Eva...small world huh?lol

So I started this post on Sat., but its Sunday and I just got back from church and one of the verses from the sermon that hit me was from Prov. and I just wanted to share this with you guys:

Prov 26:11 "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness"

As in, *sigh* the verse hit deep and hard. My Pastor went on to say that as children of God if we knew our worth, and what we/our Father is capable of we wouldn't return to our ways (vomit) because we would know that we deserve better and can have better. #nuffsaid

#Random but I think I'm going to be doing less of the talking and sharing, and more of the listening in all my relationships. Beginning to feel like I share too much and open up too much, and it comes back to bite me. We'll see.

Aiight guys...have a wonderful week ahead!!! And if anybody is coming into NY for the Reunion pls holla @ me. It'll be nice to meet up.

Talk to you guys soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!!!

Bus Trip: Destination >>> My Random Thoughts

2010-06-20T02:03:00.000-04:00

*This is the last call for all passengers boarding this tour bus! This is your driver speaking, we are taking off from the Blogsville terminal and our destination is Miss Undercover's Head. Today, we'll be taking a trip to her head and visiting a few of the many random thoughts swirling around in there. Now buckle up and let's go!*

- Currently listening to MJ's Human Nature, and I can't believe he's actually gone, and its been ~~almost~~ a year already! Time does fly sha...and he's gone. *sigh*

- I actually dnt have friends. I mean, I knw people and if you ask us we wld describe what we have as friendship, but aside from my two close-friends, no other friends calls me (ok maybe two other people) or texts me. I'm wondering what went wrong? In pry sch I used to be a talkative, and was friends with everybody! So what happened? Did/Do I subconsciously push ppl away? Or is there an underlying fear of not being "good enuff"? I dread picking up calls or texting ppl not becos I dnt want to be friends, but I worry I'll run out of things to talk about; general girly gossip can only carry on for so long and in as much as I open up easily, I also do not open up easily. I know that's a contradiction in itself, and I wish I cld explain further *sigh* Let me try: so I cld sit with you and pour out the story of my life to you...and there are some times when I dnt say anything bcos I like having some form mystery or at least something I can have to myself alone. Ok this isn't making sense so I give up.

- So a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine said I judge. I tried to brush it off, but it got to me. I'm the most imperfect person u'll ever meet, and becos of my imperfections, I sometimes stay reserved and dnt share certain things becos I do not want to be judged, so to have someone say "I judge", I was taken a back. The said friend usually asks me for my take on things and after she said that, whenever she asks my POV I dnt say anything anymore...I jst shrug, and now I make a conscious effort not to care or ask about whatever she's up to, and it's hard becos we are supposed to be close, and now I'm being who I'm not. *sigh* I think its cos of this kind of unnecessary drama I stay away from people...talk about a vicious circle.

- I realized that my cooking skills are actually not as disastrous as I imagined they were...I'm my own worstest critic! Mediocre is aiight for everyone else, but me...lol. So yeah my cooking...my cooking list lacks variety tho :(. Aside from the basic Naija menu like jollof rice, fried rice, egusi soup, okro soup, ogbono soup, spaghetti and corn-beef, stew, vegetable stew...ermmm I pretty much cnt mke anything else and I want to be able to make my #dearfuturehusband happy in the food department. Make nice appetizers for him n' his friends when they come over to watch a soccer match, after a hard day's work and all. Neways, I'm working on it sha, following Ms. O and Avartsy's blogs.

- It's Father's Day today right? *sigh* well, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the fathers out there, and to those that aren't fathers yet pls continue working on being the best Dad you can be...you might think daughters bond with their mothers more, but we hold a VERY special place in our hearts for our Daddies, and when you screw it up real bad *sigh* its hard, so hard for us to look at you the same.

- So about my last post and the qstn of would you let ur man visit a strip club, and wld you go with him? If my boyfriend was interested and wanted to go with his guys, I'm fine with it, as long as its not an every weekend kinda thing. But its a no-no for the husband o!...lol...all that kinda fun ends on ur bachelor's eve! There are other ways to have a good time with the guys, and if the guys decide they want to head over to the strip club, tell them bye-bye, and I'll personally cater to you at home *wink* So yea that's my two cents.

- I know May 2011 is a long, long way away but I can't wait...to graduate. Its been a long journey to get this Bachelors degree...*sigh* I've played that day over and over in my head...it will be icing on the cake if my sis, and the boyfie wld be able to make it...it would mean A LOT to me, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. Dear Lord.

- Speaking of which, I know He hasn't abandoned me or forgotten about me, but there's just this disconnect somewhere. Normally when I feel like I'm far from home, I jst cry out and He comes and brings me back...but for longtime now it has just been silent. I don't know what I'm not doing right...or whatelse to do...but I really want to find my way home. There's a certain kind of peace and calm that takes over when I'm home, and I just knw that everything's gonna be alright because Daddy is in control...but I dnt feel that way and I miss it. So dear blogfam please intercede on my behalf.

- I wish during my yrs in Lagos I learned how to speak Yoruba :( iLove the way it sounds when it is spoken...the dramatic expressions and inflections. I hve an Edo uncle married to an Ibo lady and the one language they speak when they want to code things frm ppl around is Yoruba...it is beautiful to watch...especially since they both speak it with phonee. What language will I speak with my #dearfuturehusband?

- I wish I knew how to make hair or had friends who did!!! I wldn't have to cough- up, $120 - $240 when I want to fix my hair! It is for this reason that I stick to my Dominican wash and set for $20- $25 bucks! Chei! If I was in Naij I wldn't be spending such ridiculous amounts oo!

- It's 1.51am and I'm still typing when I have service in the morning; I knw that even if I go to bed now sleep won't cme so...oh well.

- I'm so mad I got a ticket while I was getting my hair done! Just becos of two quarters now I have to pay $30...If I swear for the ppl in office in this yeye NY; just milking every dime outta ppl like they are cows! A freaking monthly pass $90 and no discount for college students...mscheww.

As long as this post is, this isn't half of what is really on my mind...tsk tsk! Neways, its time for y'all to hop off the Miss Enigma express, and maybe we'll do this again someday in the near future.

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone...and again Happy Fathers Day to the fathers, soon to be fathers and all.

PS: Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby" jst came on...another one of my all time favorites!!! love love love!

Talk to you all soon,

xoxo,

Miss Enigma!